I don’t like going for walks or to the park, I want to look around shops

[tohaverealisediam]

on Sunday I was feeling like the walls were falling in on me and just needed to get out. This is where my husband usually suggests a walk or taking the kids to the park- I find this so boring.

I realised that what I want to do, most it the time when I’m feeling like this- is just go and mooch around a couple of shops, get a coffee or lunch, maybe buy something new- nothing big necessarily, but maybe a little lamp or a new candle or something. This makes me happy. Going to the park, really doesn’t make me happy at all. It just doesn’t stimulate me whatsoever.

I am happy to take the kids to the playground of course, but parks or walks just bore me so much. My husband much prefers going for a walk. I don’t mind a walk so much if it’s in an amazing scenic location, in fact I do enjoy it. But I just don’t enjoy it when there’s not much to see.

I know that most mumsnetters love a walk etc and that’s great, but does it not just under stimulate you ?

it’s a bit of a struggle as obviously my husband and I have different preferences.

we ended up going out for a bit, going to a couple of shops, getting dinner out so I didn’t need to cook and clean up.

I am just so bored of staying in all weekend with two young kids and the only thing we do is maybe go for a walk, that’s all my husband wants to do as he finds going out stressful.

I love a bit of shopping, if you can afford it why not. Trouble is I live in rural Somerset and there are no decent shops here so I have to go for a walk instead but I do indulge on the Internet.

Do you need to buy things to feel happy? .

granted, not all walks are nice. Walking around the countryside or a nice park is diffferemr from walking around the suburbs. But even then, even in your local park or other peoples front gardens on the road side, there’s joy to be found. Are there any outdoor spaces that you do like?

I think one of the ways to enjoy it more is to learn more about it. Build curiosity into your walk - ask what tree that is, did I look like that when I walked past it last week? What are those insects doing? What can I hear? For me at least, that is absolute escapism, it’s free, and every walk is always different.

shopping is just always the same. you have to pay for what’s new. I’ve never understood how people work all week just to go and spend their money in shops on things they don’t need and on stuff that will be out of fashion next year. An absolute con in my mind.

Fair point. I badly articulated it. It's not so much the individuals as such but the mass of people shuffling round.

No, I hate shops, they make me depressed.

I hate shopping, it’s over stimulating and over stimulating all at the same time, and people to at you. I don’t care how many mistakes I make. Vinted over shops if I need clothes every time.

I don’t even like walking round quaint country towns looking at shops. Give me hills, beaches, sunrise and sunset.

If you grew up mooching and shopping with your mum then it makes sense you would like that. I like walking, but there are caveats to that - I didn’t do much as a child so have come to enjoy it over time, and that started with bigger hikes in beautiful places. Like you, I much prefer scenic locations (we live by the coast so we are lucky, but sometimes I crave change). I only like it for so long (e.g. in a ‘standard’ location, about an hour and I hit my boredom threshold). Things I’ve found make it better are taking a coffee with me (those reusable cups that collapse down and fit in a pocket are good), stopping for a chat with people (depends on your community but ours is quite small) and (this one’s massive and absolutely not for everyone) getting a dog. Our dog means we have to walk loads but we now talk to lots of people and he is amazing and brings us so much joy. Again, this depends on where you live, but can you walk to somewhere so there’s a clear destination - e.g. a market, cafe for a lunch or coffee, or a nice location for a picnic?

Edited for typo.

I think walking is one of those things that either you get it or you don't.
I've always walked for pleasure whether I've been in capital cities or the absolute back of beyond. There is always something of interest - weather, people, architecture, animals, historic sites, shop windows or just stone cold gorgeous views. Walking the dog, walking with friends or alone, purposefully, or not, I always feel better after.

When I've been bereaved, sad, recovering from illness that just putting one foot in front of the other has brought me peace, comfort and back to myself. Lord knows how I'll cope if I ever have to stop.

I like going to the shops just as you do and going for a coffee and cake or a sandwich. However, you do end up potentially spending money on stuff you don't need.

I also love a walk in a park, but having said that, how many times can you go to the same local park without it getting boring. I'm more inclined to go for a walk in the park in the summer.Because in the middle of winter, I won't want to do it and I like to feel the sun on me

I’m the opposite.

I hate walking around shops but love walking in nature ( the fewer people the better).

I also hate spending money unnecessarily.

My DC hates walking in nature and so we compromise.
We walk around the shops but we don’t spend any money and if she wants something then she needs to use/save up from her pocket money.

I also wondered that. Not a lover of shopping anyway, but doing it with a couple of young kids in tow sounds even less enjoyable.

I am just so bored of staying in all weekend with two young kids and the only thing we do is maybe go for a walk, that’s all my husband wants to do as he finds going out stressful

This is the problem. There are loads of things you could be doing that aren’t a walk in the park or shopping. It’s the summer holidays. There are loads of things going on. Take your children to some of them.

I like both but I wonder if the reason you find a little shop/coffee more enjoyable is because you don’t get much chance to focus on yourself?

I also have very young DC and all my time is usually focused on them. The chance to go to the shops and wander around at my own pace, or sit in a cafe in peace is a rare luxury that I really savour. But it’s more about the chance to just follow my own whims and please myself.

Can your DH take the kids to the park for a couple of hours on a Saturday morning occasionally so you can have a peaceful chance to enjoy yourself?

Also, doesn’t have to just be the park or a walk. Mixing things up can be fun! What about the library? Visit a local nature reserve? Join the national trust and visit some of the places near to you (always a good cafe there too!), drive to the beach, find some local child friendly museums… life is boring when we do the same stuff on repeat.

Don’t have kids but I love a garden centre mooch so I wondered if a garden centre would feed both appetites. You are walking through nature, there are things to buy, there’s often a play park for the children and amazing coffee and cakes!

They are very different.

Shopping occupies the mind.
Walks outside allow your mind to wander.

I’m the same as you! I will walk everywhere if I can help it, and always have done. When I visit a new city I like to walk for miles and miles through the suburbs to truly see it, rather than go to the usual tourist destinations. I would honestly walk in circles around the block if I had to - I will be awful if/when I become frail.

My husband is like OP, and can’t understand why I have to behave like a dog when cars exist. The point about upbringing is very interesting though - I always walked to school and back and we would go on (free) family days out in nature. His family were much better off and barely did any parks and spent lots of time at paid-for activities. I’ve only really been aware of this since we have had little children and our ideas about how to entertain them can be very different. I actually realise that I hate a structured, expensive day out as I find it a bit overwhelming.

I love walking, but on my own, and I listen to audiobooks or podcasts. I think I would get bored otherwise, although I enjoy the rhythm of my steps and seeing the countryside. I dont know that i would enjoy it with other people.
I walk 12000 steps a day now and love it.
But nothing wrong with loving shopping either!

Every Saturday morning I walk into town to go around my usual shops. Sometimes I'm buying things we need from the chemist, sometimes I'm window shopping in the jewellers, or buying a small thing in the market. Then I get a magazine (usually about films, computer games, or psychology), and I sit in my favourite cafe for brunch. It's my weekly re-set. Its taken YEARS to get to the stage I can do this, and afford to do it (magazines are expensive!)

I also like to take the kids into the city, or around the park and stop for food, but tend to do that in the afternoon or on Sunday. Saturday morning is my time.

Good shout!

Also although I do t like shopping centre info like nice butchers, locales I’ve and souvenir and charity shops which is why places to walk to often entice me into the shops (like a gift shop!)

I also love to walk though but I always have headphones and a podcast on!!

Oh there’s plenty of room in my life for both!
If I want to wander a few shops and get lunch out I tell dh what I’m doing and off I go (obviously if we don’t already have plans, I’m not that inconsiderate 😂).
But I absolutely love a walk in nature, we are so lucky to live in a town where we do with so much access to beautiful countryside. Granted we may have to drive 10 minutes to get there but there are still a few glorious spots within walking distance.
Dc are older now, parks always bored me rigid when they were younger - literally nothing in it for me as an adult - obviously watching the dc playing and making friends is lovely but essentially sitting on a bench is pretty rubbish when they don’t want or need you. Going with a friend helped but it wasn’t the kind of thing we spent weekends as a family doing.
Weekends though did definitely feature a walk and a pub stop for a hot chocolate or lemonade depending on the season and crisps or chips - actually our Sundays with no plans often still feature this except 2 of the dc are adults and have switched the lemonade for beer!

Mooching in the shops is the stuff of nightmares for me. My eldest loves it though and tries to drag me into shops at every opportunity. I can’t wait till she’s old enough to go with friends!

Yeh DD 13 has spent the day mooching around Durhan with her friends. My idea of hell but at least they can go by themselves now!

They always quote ‘being in nature’ as one of the ways to improve health and wellbeing. Bullshit. I find it boring as hell unless there is a purpose or something to walk to. I’d much rather walk round a town or shops with stuff to actually look at than muddy fields and dreary hedges. And less dog shit too. YANBU

I hate shopping with a passion. My dm loved it and used to drag me round the shops all the time (felt like every day) as a child. I would rather be in nature....although I quite like a walk where I can stop for a coffee!!

I’m on the other side of this, my DH wants to please himself and go and look in shops / buy something / get a coffee or something to eat. The thing is, those things aren’t what the children want or need and they cost money every time. If I did that every time we went out, we’d be bankrupt. Sure, the odd shop or coffee shop - but the children want and need to walk and run around a bit. Honestly, it drives me a little bonkers and often feels selfish (his needs / wants before the children or me). Not having a go, just another perspective.

I love mooching about the shops, going for lunch or a coffee but can't think of anything worse than doing it with my husband and 2 young kids. I would take a walk or trip to the play park any day over the shops with the kids...not because I particularly enjoy it but it's preferable to shopping with kids or staying home with kids.