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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To send little one to nursery in a dress without shorts?

236 replies

dahliadream · 13/08/2025 06:22

First time posting on mn so please be kind, not sure whether this board is the right home for this or not?!

I have a three year old girl, it's hot so I have been sending her to nursery in casual loose t-shirt dresses, about knee length. My friend told me yesterday that when she puts her daughter in dresses for nursery she puts shorts underneath. I havent been doing that. She doesn't wear shorts with dresses at home and also wouldn't it make her even warmer on a hot day? She is quite active at nursery and she spends a lot of time outside.

AIBU just to put her in a dress? Or should she be wearing shorts too? Three seems so little to worry about modesty doesn't it.

OP posts:
Wowzel · 13/08/2025 06:24

I never bothered sending my DD with shorts under her dress

Pinklilly · 13/08/2025 06:25

I always put bloomers on under a dress for my 3 year old. Kids life up their dresses a lot I find.
this is our habit since she was about 2 so we do the same for nursery.
there is no right or wrong but in terms of heat I don’t believe it has any impact

itsabeautifuldayjuly · 13/08/2025 06:27

It really depends. if they are inside, no issue. Outside, just wearing knickers on her bottom half (realistically the dress will be somewhere around her waist) means higher likelihood of a burned bum on hot surfaces, more sand in knickers and a higher likelihood of it getting caught/ hindering her play (the last one is the case for any dresses). Loose shorts and a regular t-shirt are the way in my experience.

Brbreeze · 13/08/2025 06:29

Mine is one to lift up her dress as a habit, especially when she is tired for some reason. So we routinely put on shorts with dresses,

Mbknio · 13/08/2025 06:30

I put my daughter the same age in shorts knickers

https://www.next.co.uk/style/su404883/e87097

I think they can be better in terms of comfort around activities especially if going down slides etc.
I'm mindful that less substantial knickers end up going to the side and covering nothing at all really which I'll admit makes me uncomfortable

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https://www.next.co.uk/style/su404883/e87097

HelloCheekyCat · 13/08/2025 06:33

Brbreeze · 13/08/2025 06:29

Mine is one to lift up her dress as a habit, especially when she is tired for some reason. So we routinely put on shorts with dresses,

Presumably she has underwear on so why does it matter?
I never put shorts on DD under dressss/skirts because she had pants on which covered her privates

ExistentialThreat · 13/08/2025 06:34

There is nothing 'immodest' about a little girl flashing her knickers playing. I hate this sexualisation of small children. Send her in what ever is comfortable. The only time I would consider shorts would be (as a PP mentioned) if she might burn her legs going down a hot slide. My daughter is 6 and yes, you do get a flash of knickers when she does cartwheels - but she's 6.

Doingmybest12 · 13/08/2025 06:34

If I was considering this is just do shorts and t-shirt. I don't think I'd send a 3 year old for an active day of play in a dress.

Original poster
dahliadream · 13/08/2025 06:35

HelloCheekyCat · 13/08/2025 06:33

Presumably she has underwear on so why does it matter?
I never put shorts on DD under dressss/skirts because she had pants on which covered her privates

Show quote history

Yes she does always have knickers on!

OP posts:
Original poster
dahliadream · 13/08/2025 06:36

ExistentialThreat · 13/08/2025 06:34

There is nothing 'immodest' about a little girl flashing her knickers playing. I hate this sexualisation of small children. Send her in what ever is comfortable. The only time I would consider shorts would be (as a PP mentioned) if she might burn her legs going down a hot slide. My daughter is 6 and yes, you do get a flash of knickers when she does cartwheels - but she's 6.

Honestly it's something I hadn't ever given any thought to until my friend mentioned it and now worrying I have been an unfit mother!

OP posts:
Original poster
dahliadream · 13/08/2025 06:36

Doingmybest12 · 13/08/2025 06:34

If I was considering this is just do shorts and t-shirt. I don't think I'd send a 3 year old for an active day of play in a dress.

Thank you, I do put her in shorts and t-shirt sometimes but she does like a dress bless her, and I have always felt they're a bit cooler as looser. They're just little casual ones but I see your point.

OP posts:
chowmeinz · 13/08/2025 06:38

Doingmybest12 · 13/08/2025 06:34

If I was considering this is just do shorts and t-shirt. I don't think I'd send a 3 year old for an active day of play in a dress.

This. Shorts and t shirt is much more practical in a nursery setting than a dress.

Original poster
dahliadream · 13/08/2025 06:38

Mbknio · 13/08/2025 06:30

I put my daughter the same age in shorts knickers

https://www.next.co.uk/style/su404883/e87097

I think they can be better in terms of comfort around activities especially if going down slides etc.
I'm mindful that less substantial knickers end up going to the side and covering nothing at all really which I'll admit makes me uncomfortable

These are GREAT, have never seen before and will buy.

OP posts:
shitshow1976 · 13/08/2025 06:39

You sound like a lovely caring Mum! I wouldn't even think of putting shorts under my DDs dress when she was little. They have pants. This is enough. No need to make them hotter!

DeliciouslyBaked · 13/08/2025 06:40

Our nursery requires that shorts are worn under dresses and to be honest, given the way DD flails her legs about when playing at home, im quite happy to comply. Pants are just not the same level of coverage.

Is your DD potty trained? Because the other thing we found is having shorts is much easier when she has a wee accident because it soaks up some of the wee to give her longer to run to the toilet. Before the policy changed, we had a lot of soaked shoes after a wee accident.

Comtesse · 13/08/2025 06:41

I have 2 DDs and they have never worn any extra shorts under dresses or skirts. I think it’s unnecessary.

Original poster
dahliadream · 13/08/2025 06:42

DeliciouslyBaked · 13/08/2025 06:40

Our nursery requires that shorts are worn under dresses and to be honest, given the way DD flails her legs about when playing at home, im quite happy to comply. Pants are just not the same level of coverage.

Is your DD potty trained? Because the other thing we found is having shorts is much easier when she has a wee accident because it soaks up some of the wee to give her longer to run to the toilet. Before the policy changed, we had a lot of soaked shoes after a wee accident.

That'a interesting to know! Our nursery has never said anything before and I don't think there's any kind of dress code for it.

Yes she's fully potty trained and has been for some time, we did it over winter.

OP posts:
CucumberCool · 13/08/2025 06:43

I've noticed more children wearing shorts under skirts and dresses, and having a very active 3yo who loves to climb I had wondered the same op!

However my DD will not wear shorts and takes a lot of convincing not to wear a dress. @Mbknio these are great and look like the perfect solution.

SErunner · 13/08/2025 06:44

Our daughter chose to wear shorts under a dress for a while but I’ve never insisted on it. As per others, they’re children, there is no need to sexualise their behaviour at such a young age. I do prompt her to put her dress down if she’s pulling it up, but accidental flashes of knickers are just par for the course for girls I think. I don’t think there is any harm her wearing a casual dress to pre school. Our daughter chooses to some days too and doesn’t seem to have any difficulty getting stuck in to all the activities judging by the state she comes home in!

Original poster
dahliadream · 13/08/2025 06:46

SErunner · 13/08/2025 06:44

Our daughter chose to wear shorts under a dress for a while but I’ve never insisted on it. As per others, they’re children, there is no need to sexualise their behaviour at such a young age. I do prompt her to put her dress down if she’s pulling it up, but accidental flashes of knickers are just par for the course for girls I think. I don’t think there is any harm her wearing a casual dress to pre school. Our daughter chooses to some days too and doesn’t seem to have any difficulty getting stuck in to all the activities judging by the state she comes home in!

Oh yes this made me laugh as my little one comes home absolutely filthy too so she's clearly getting involved! She really likes dresses, it isn't something we have pushed as I have lots of leggings and shorts etc for her too but I think she likes how swishy they are.

OP posts:
MoltenLasagne · 13/08/2025 06:57

We put shorts or knickers on top of nappies under dresses otherwise they get saggy, but I wouldn't bother with a child that is potty trained.

That being said, DD did have a nasty accident recently with wearing a skirt on a slide where basically she suddenly stopped moving forward because it was her leg not the material and her top half kept going. So if she's going to be on slides that day I do put her in longer shorts.

tuvamoodyson · 13/08/2025 06:59

dahliadream · 13/08/2025 06:36

Honestly it's something I hadn't ever given any thought to until my friend mentioned it and now worrying I have been an unfit mother!

Show quote history

You have actually worried about being an unfit mother???

imisscashmere · 13/08/2025 07:02

Mbknio · 13/08/2025 06:30

I put my daughter the same age in shorts knickers

https://www.next.co.uk/style/su404883/e87097

I think they can be better in terms of comfort around activities especially if going down slides etc.
I'm mindful that less substantial knickers end up going to the side and covering nothing at all really which I'll admit makes me uncomfortable

Thanks for sharing. I think these would be much more practical for my 3 year old. As a bonus they’re very cute too 😁

Tretweet · 13/08/2025 07:04

I am now a larger lady so have to wear chub run shorts under skirts and dresses and they definitely make me hot and sweatier.

On a beach or a pool as much would be covered as by knickers, I honestly find it a bit weird and Victorian how girls are now being put in bloomers again.

I’d keep shorts off OP.

T0rt0ise · 13/08/2025 07:07

I don't care about modesty (mine spend most of their lives half dressed lol) but she went down a fireman's pole in her dress the other day and now has two friction burns on the inside of ther thighs so will be wearing shorts under when going to the park etc for protection and I can see the same argument for nursery play.