How do you handle a narcissist you don't want to cut off

[Fragmentedbrain]

They add value to your life they're amazing people

But they don't know the boundaries

Cutting off isn't an option and I'm in a position where I can say no to their unreasonable demands but

Is the only way to go from here a parting? Or is there a way to get through?

What value do they actually add? Money?

Doesn't sound that amazing

But look up grey rocking

The word narcissist and amazing person don’t really go together

Has this person actually been diagnosed with narcissistic personality disorder? It's hard to imagine they'd add much to your life.

Is this another 38-year-old offspring still living in the parental home and chaffing under the house rules?

Quite a few of those recently..

You can use a narcissist (like they use you) but you have to know how to do it because they don’t think like a healthy person.

In essence, you have to become very manipulative yourself ‘narcissistic fleas’

No, definitely not money! Fun and mental and spiritual stimulation. not a bad person at all just hugely unreasonable in terms of what they expect from others.

So I dont understand how if they are so narcissistic, demanding etc that they can actually bring joy of any kind?
Surely, youre continually on tenterhooks waiting for the inevitable?

Are they really so joyous?

How can a raving narcissist with no boundaries provide 'spiritual' stimulation?

You either go along with their demands or cut them off there is NO middle ground with an actual narcissist. I have recently had the police remove one from my home, he was allegedly spiritual and fun etc but deep down he is just a delusional nasty monster like all narcs. You either tow the line and give up your own boundaries or they will chip away at you till you have none anyway. There is no middle ground.

They’re either not a narcissist
or
They are a very clever narcissist

You sound exceptionally vulnerable

"they don't know the boundaries"
"I'm in a position where I can say no to their unreasonable demands"

These sound like two completely opposite things.

When you say no, do they then respect your boundaries?

They’re not a narcissist. What makes you think they are, other than not recognising boundaries?

Confused me too. Can't be the spirituality I'm thinking of.

I'm thinking cult leader now.

Op
this person sounds like a twat
and you sound vulnerable, naive and…. Well, this thread is a bit silly really

I am not vulnerable at all - it's that thing where you enjoy someone being in your life and you don't want that to stop just because they're a bit of a prick. I know this is relatable?!

You aren’t the most objective on whether you’re vulnerable or not.

On the basis of this thread, it would certainly seem you are very vulnerable

So how is a bit of a prick spiritually stimulating? I know the answer but wonder if you do.

It’s relatable to me OP.

what boundaries do they cross?

Define meet ups on your / mutual terms.

• Yes we can meet for dinner - no I’m not paying; no I’m not picking you up; no we aren’t going to a Michelin.
• No we aren’t going rock climbing in the Andes; we can go for a walk round the park.

Only share information you’re happy to be shared, or stick to neutral topics.

Dont be dragged into other dramas, especially he said she said.

edited to say - I’m thinking of a friend who has narcissistic tendencies but who I absolutely can nope out of. A genuine narcissist is a different ballgame entirely.

Well, I guess we will each never know when we are losing it!

a narcissist is a touch more than a “bit of a prick”

Losing what?

😆