To lock up all our food etc when we leave

[ChangerMonNom]

We share a holiday cottage with DH family (his parents, older sister and partner) and use it at different times. For clarity- everyone contributes financially but DH and I the most as we are a family of four and earn more also.

In the summer holidays, we tend to go up the first few weeks of august, then head home. At this point, SIL and partner will come and use it. They probably use it more than us in total as they have no kids so can go during term time also, and can WFH so tend to have lots of mini breaks throughout the year.

When we leave, we make sure place is spotless and leave fresh milk (if SIL due to arrive), eggs, coffee, occasionally some treats and always whatever is left of all purchases (cooking oil, laundry powder, condiments, kitchen roll, plentiful loo roll).

On the flip side, SIL and partner will use all our stuff up and not replace it, meaning we often arrive late evening and find we are missing eg oil to cook dinner or even toilet roll.

We have mentioned this politely a few times but got no meaningful response (other than to say ‘it’s just the two of us, we hardly use anything’) This 100 per cent won’t be just thoughtlessness on their part - SIL is notoriously tight.

Anyway- we are due to pack up Sunday and I am considering putting all store cupboard items in a combination lockable suitcase and keeping them stashed away until our return. They will no doubt notice this as they take for granted things like salt and dishwasher tabs being available.

DH told me not to he so petty and ‘go high’, but honestly I’m fed up of SIL and her partner’s behaviour and this might be the only way to make them see what they are doing (although to he perfectly honest, I will slightly enjoy pissing them off).

So who’s right MN?

Was it her idea to come have lunch together? If so, I'd make excuses the night before to DH that you want to leave before lunch or that you don't feel like lunch or something. Because if you do all go to lunch, DH will pay for his leech sister.

Would DH really be ok with making his sister pay her their own meals? Sounds like he's likely a pushover with her, hence why she continually takes the piss.

Take it home or lock it away.

people who are that mean have no shame about it. They just think they're being sensible and you're profligate.

All you can do is whatever it takes to not resent her. I still think carefully leaving for her exactly what she left for you. That would give me enough satisfaction that I didn't feel taken advantage of, but also wouldn't be me being actively petty to her, so I would also feel OK about that.

@ChangerMonNom get your stuff packed up and away before she arrives!! find an old loo roll cardboard and wind 4 sheets onto it! take tea bags salt and dishwash tabs away into your car!

Can you do bread, cheese and salad for lunch at the house?

@ChickenChow

?

@PassTheLemonDrizzle

yeah but the thing is she’s tried to do it reasonably and it’s just got her nowhere. We shouldn’t be a doormat to anyone in life- even family.

Remember that you can easily open a suitcase with a biro, even when there's a lock on it. If they open it and find food items that have been "hidden".......BOOM!

Fair enough but I think the OP needs to be clearer. She’s politely mentioned the issue and asked if SIL would like to contribute to a kitty — but as SIL is a tight CF, of course she’ll say “no,” because it suits her. The real question should be: “Do you want to contribute to an essentials kitty or do you want to buy everything separately because the current situation doesn't suit us?” Phrased this way, it might focus SIL’s mind and change her answer.

Go for it, what rude behaviour from them both!
as they “hardly use anything” it won’t be an issue for them to provide their own stuff will it?!

I’d leave nothing !
When they arrive and are gasping for a cuppa they might get the hint!

Take the rest home, whether you have a dishwasher or not!

100% do this.
We just came back from two weeks away and our grown child and her friend who stayed here had done the same, came back to no washing up liquid, clothes wash liquid, loo roll or pasta. Obviously she's my child so I will replace but it was still irritating, and would be much more so if somebody I wasn't financially responsible for had done it.
Otherwise pop it in the car and take it with you, then you're less likely to be found out.

Lock it up!!!! If she is going through locked personal belongings and then using things, that is a whole new level of CFery!

Have you any yucky perfumey type tea bags knocking around and some vintage coffee, nearly empty slightly stale cereal, hardish bread, cheese with a little mould, a quarter of a toilet roll-make sure it’s damp. I could go on but I’m sure u get my drift…😉.
i hate meaness too so I could have great fun with her!

I think you should buy the cheapest, most disgusting version of items left behind and swap them out when you leave. Tesco coffee, not even the value stuff, is vile. Buy toilet roll that is ridiculously thin, value dishwasher tablets that dont work properly...you get the idea. That way they can't complain that you're not leaving stuff but may be more inclined to buy their own.

I would 100% be locking it all up. This is peak petty and I’m here for it 🤣

Ewww, how embarrassing. Does she go diving in the bins out the back of the restaurant on her way out too?

Please leave one teabag 😅

If you don't want to row with your DH, be non obvious. Eg if they are staying a week, leave 3 dishwasher tablets and 5 tea bags.
Specifically save nearly empty anything from now on to leave out for them.

You need to withdraw all the free stuff and stand your ground. Otherwise the annoyance of her persistent cheeky F-ery is always going to be at the back of your mind irritating you and life’s too short

Tell them you’ve gotta leave early 😄 dodgy tummy, will explain lack of loo roll 😄

I doubt your husband will go along with this, but you could have a limited funds issue that means you can only pay for your own. She only gets away with crap like this because people let her

This. A happy medium. Enough to get them through the first day, but not so much that you feel milked.

You share a holiday home not household items. Pack your stuff away so that you know they'll be there when you arrive back. Leave out anything that will perish before you're back so it doesn't go to waste. I can't see why this would annoy anyone tbh; you're just trying to ensure you have what you need when you arrive next time.