to think my colleague should just admit she is on weight loss injections?

[betnet]

At work we have all noticed Sally has lost a lot of weight in the past few months. She is always talking about diets and what she eats and does not eat anymore and makes a big deal about avoiding the biscuit tin in the kitchen. She keeps saying it is just willpower and cutting out snacks.

Last week I walked past her desk, her bag was open, and there was one of those weight loss injection pens in plain sight.

Now I cannot unsee it and every time she goes on about her self control it feels performative.

I am not saying she has to announce it to the whole office, but when she is preaching about anyone can do it if they just try it feels a bit dishonest.

AIBU to think she should either be upfront or just stop making a song and dance about how she has done it all naturally?

So what dose is she on? On my WLIs the dose is more highlighted/clearer to read than the actual drug name, which you can't read from a distance, the drug name isn't as bold...

Leave the wench alone. Sheesh.

Why are you so invested in this?

99% of colleagues bullshit. I had a male colleague who wore a very obvious wig but acted like it was his hair and the visible glue was dry skin. It’s weird but ultimately probably something he was insecure about so I noticed it…and immediately let it go.

Your issue is that she's a diet bore and vocally berates others for making less "healthy" choices than her. Yeah, that's annoying. But whether she is using WLIs or not is irrelevant, because as others have said, it doesn't melt fat - it suppresses appetite so it's just a little easier to avoid the calorific foods us fat people love, and stop thinking about food every hour of every day. Just like nicotine patches help smokers through the worst of their early nicotine cravings. Etc etc etc.

Personally I'm rather scared of the WLIs (fear of side effects), so I am losing weight by routine calorie counting for the 150th time in my life. I seem to be in a good zone at the moment - I wouldn't dream of commenting on someone else's snacks, but imagine if I do lose this 3 stone and everybody thinks I must have been using WLIs so I'm a "cheat"! THAT'S fucking annoying.

It’s not about the method of weight loss, it’s about the fact she keeps going on about it when it’s not welcome. So that’s what you tell her, that you aren’t interested in her thoughts on your snacks or food, and if she keeps commenting you’ll have to consider it a form of workplace bullying/harassment and take it further.

Then, ignore any general comments she makes about dieting, and don’t engage. That’s all.

MYOB.

( Which is what my user name was meant to be when I NC this morning but was so annoyed I didn’t notice I’d got the letters the wrong way round. 🤦‍♀️ )

None of your business.

Is she light enough yet for you to hoist her up on the cross?

Seriously @betnet you sound a little deranged about this. None of are Sally so we can’t answer the questions you are banging on about. Let it go, you will never know.

In fairness you do get to say something to her for commenting on what you eat so take that small win and get past it.

Because weight loss injections are not a magic solution and don’t “melt fat” like a lot of people seem to assume. You do still need to put a lot of work in to ensure you lose weight and can maintain the loss when you stop taking it. It’s none of your business.

@betnet I don’t expect you to answer this, but what is your relationship with your body like? It sounds like maybe you have a sore spot which this is tapping into. For example, my relationship with my size/shape is okay, so I think her comments about me having snacks would not bother me or get under my skin.
BUT I am more self-conscious about my ageing skin and wrinkles and have not yet quite got used to them. So if someone was telling me to drink more water and use said cream for my wrinkles (when in fact they were having regular Botox) that would get under my skin and I’d probably focus on her and feel envy and dislike much more! What I mean is, look inwards and see why this has pissed you off so much, it might help. Then maybe figure out a way to respond more upfront to her comments about you snacking…. I’m not sure how I would respond… “everything in moderation they say!” and make light of it - or…”ooooh you seem very interested in my snacking habits!” if you’re being a bit more upfront. Other people may have kinder/more helpful retorts.

i do wonder whether she is missing her snacks which is why she is so focused on what everyone else is eating! And maybe wants everyone else to avoid snacks so that she is not tempted!

But try not to vilify her as that makes you into the more bitter and unpleasant person in the scenario.

How do you know that is how we are all making her feel? Are you one of my colleagues?

Is it wrong to notice when someone loses or gains weight?

HNRTFT but I am amazed that you could see what the pen had written on it…were you prying? It’s absolutely not your business !

It's the 'nobody asked but I'm going to announce and lie about how I'm doing it' that would annoy me.

Because that's what she's doing: she's lying, and vicariously insulting anyone else who has merely tried to 'eat healthy and cut out biscuits at work' and seen no results.

I'd quietly tell her you saw the injection jab on her desk and to stop going on about it.

I'm on a diet and I've lost loads, a stone in the first week. Mostly water bla bla, lost 2 stone by the end of the first month. Everyone is convinced I'm on the injections but I'm not

I'm on a diet and I've lost loads, a stone in the first week. Mostly water bla bla, lost 2 stone by the end of the first month. Everyone is convinced I'm on the injections but I'm not

Not in the world of AI

I am fine with my body. I just don't like being told I can't have a snack if I want one. I am not 5.

She then has snacks herself. It has pissed me off because of the hypocrisy.

She is not missing her snacks as she has snacks everyday.

WLI are the current c-section / epidural to beat women with. Taking a medication that can make you feel pretty lousy, costs money and has to be prescribed following what can be humiliating photos and video interviews is just a stick to beat women. Losing weight is hard. No one needs to be a dick about it.

Its none of your business and the judgment people face when losing weight- however they do it - is why people are often not open. And she still has to use willpower - the jabs dont melt the fat off.

If she talks about dieting, ignore her.
If she talks about exercise, ignore her.
If she comments on what you’re eating, ignore her.

Her possible use of weight loss injections is a red herring. She’s a crashing bore either way. Set yourself free.

She doesn't have to be open. If she didn't keep going on about it weight and diet, nobody would have thought anything, But she could at least stop telling everyone else to stop snacking while she snacks herself.

Then tell her you don’t want her to comment on what you eat, and warn her what will happen if she continues. That’s all you need to do. The focus on WLI is a distraction and a useful tool to beat Sally with instead of directly addressing the issue. Which isn’t WLI, but your colleague’s behaviour.

Weight loss pens still need self control and a diet. You lack understanding.

What do you hope to gain from her being forced to announce something? Imagine if this was a pregnancy and you were saying someone must announce it or a relationship or being gay.

People have a right to privacy. Your desire to gossip doesn't trump that.

Agree with this. And also absolutely none of your business.

I agree with you @betnet .

It's not the WLI. Three of my colleagues are on them and I think brilliant, good for them. I'm not in any way jealous and it's the decision I'd make in their position.

But if they started lecturing me about willpower it would give me the rage.

Given these people have all tried all sorts of diets and struggled in the past, it would be shitty of them to say 'you just need to try harder'.

When people say that on these boards they get a pile on because we all know weight loss is more complex.

This has nothing to do with her being on them and everything to do with double standards. The colleague owes it to no one to reveal she is on them but equally shouldn't be loudly pretending she isn't or commenting on other people's eating habits.

That never goes down well in other circumstances or if the situations were reversed so not sure why OP is getting such a hard time..