To feel inconvenienced by a tragic accident?

[OnemargarIta]

I'm currently in Italy (staying in Rome) for three nights. It's my first foreign break in a warm country and I've been so excited and saved up especially.

We booked an excursion for today consisting of a trip to Sorrento where we'd spend time exploring, visiting shops and enjoying local food - and then on to Pompeii on the route back.

We've spent the whole morning/day so far stuck in traffic on the motor way. We are so behind schedule we can now no longer go to Sorrento first because Pompeii closes at 5.30 and there won't be time. A sit down restaurant meal will now be replaced by a takeaway which will be eaten on the coach.

We've just been told the cause of the traffic jam and it's because somebody has died in a collision on the motorway.

Instead of feeling saddened about the loss of life I just feel inconvenienced and pissed off that the highlight of my trip has been ruined.

Does this make me a shitty person? It just occurred that it might 😳

Fwiw although I've been accused of finding the thread amusing well no not the thread in general just one comment off op I can definately relate to the fact this will be somebody's, partner child etc etc and I do feel saddened and I am grateful I'm not going through it that's not to say that I may not feel inconvenienced at the same time but I definitely don't find it amusing in the slightest and feel awful for the person and thier relatives.

I'd feel sadness and grief for my friend, but tbh I would understand if it wasn't shared by the many hundreds of people they'd shown no thought for in their actions.

Though accidents are different and then you do have to be more philosophical and put it down as just one of those things - annoying for you and very sad for the individuals and families involved.

I'm not trying to excuse myself to you, funnily.

I would have thought it was a horrible irony. Beyond that I can't say. I think it's unreasonable to expect total strangers to be anything other than a little saddened by knowing someone died in any manner. I'm one of those who absolutely does not get the tears and grief when a famous person dies. I'm a very practical person, quite well known for my "well fuck it, what can we DO" approach ,(much valued by my late friend who had cancer for a decade). She couldn't abide wallowing or false, overblown "feels". Obviously it depends on exactly what the circumstances are but in my case and in the OPs when it was a one off, long planned for and expensive day, I completely see where she is coming from.

i didn't ask you to & with your attitude I certainly didn't expect you to!

I remarked that your behaviour was childish, blaming the OP for your crass response to her question.

I think it’s natural to feel annoyed that your plan didn’t happen. But it is quite heartless to not even care that someone was killed…

You can do both at once they’re not mutually exclusive.

Quite.

I think op is pretty normal. I would think she was lacking in empathy if she felt this way at the tragic death of someone she knew. Or if she expressed her frustration and annoyance to someone close to the accident in some way.

But not being upset about a stranger or strangers involved in something that unfortunately is not unusual doesn’t strike me as shocking or odd. I’m far more concerned day to day about relatively minor things that affect me and people I care about than things I understand to be utterly dreadful for people I don’t. I’ve never doubted that I have normal levels of empathy!

Why didn't you get a train? So easy & cheap to get around in Italy. The roads are always a pain out there.

I didn't get a train because the day trip was an excursion booked with a tour guide and the travel (by coach) along the Amalfi coast was part of the trip.

If I come again I would get the train.

I'd be pissed off my day was ruined and wouldn't give a second thought about the person who died. I never knew them and they bear no more relevance to me than anyone else who died that day. Other than that their accident fucked up my day.

Maybe @OnemargarIta, you should adopt a quick formal prayer to say in circumstances like this. ‘May God have mercy on his soul’ or something similar. Duty done, you then carry on with feeling irritated.
The outrage on here is bonkers.

Make sure that, when your time comes, you don't inconvenience anyone. You should be able to empathise, as you know how annoying it can be.

How would that be possible?

@OnemargarIta Oh the irony, that you’ve just realised this.No need to explain any further, surely it’s obvious.

I've not seen much outrage or people saying they would mourn for a month over some stranger, especially a famous person. I mean I did think it was sad when Robin Williams died but I went about my day as normal.

Just people thinking OP is weird for starting a thread about it. I couldn't give a shit what OP feels but because posters have said they would think it was sad they are called virtue signallers.

Some people love to exaggerate to put other people down.

I haven't read the full thread but am fascinated by how the OP is being berated for choosing to go on an excursion by coach to Sorrento and Pompeii.

But I didn't. You've read something into what I wrote that wasn't there.

Did you not read my answer? I have been there, I've had family there. Albeit at my actual worse my plans were an awful lot neater and less disruptive. But I was also on a bridge at on point, Have had to talk a parent off a bridge, hid their presicribed meds, stayed up with them all night becuase they are in crisis.

I have had the police come to my door when i was 16 to tell me my mum was in a major car accident - she sustained a traumatic brain injury and has never been the same since.

I HAVE BEEN THERE. MULTIPLE TIMES AND WAYS.

and as i said. If anything its all made me even less tollerant of the frankly dire job that is made of dealing with these incidents.

Because that's the subject-matter of the OP's post? If you don't like the topic, scroll on

& as MN have deleted your post I guess they agree. I didn't report it by the way, I prefer posts to remain standing.

your post was offensive. You even said you knew it would cause offence ! It was not what the OP was asking about. Plenty of us saw it. So just stop digging.

Over 400 posts & that's the post you comment on?

No digging here. I just disagree with what you've said. Nothing I've said "blames" the OP for anything. And I stand by my post, though I could have expressed it differently. It is absolutely maddening not to be able to get back to those you have to care for because someone has deliberately taken an action that will cause the maximum disruption possible.

If you think that's digging, we can agree to disagree or you can write another pointless post.

Early on one poster called the OP a cunt, which is certainly bonkers.

It may only be a small number of posters who are bonkers but they seem to be posting frequently and aggressively.

Lol you what? At no point have I said that the car accident could be helped, I simply expressed feeling inconvenienced that it had.

How do you think OP is coming across with her posts? She sounds bonkers to me.