Train etiquette

[EmJA85]

Was getting the train back to London from a day out in Folkestone yesterday with my husband and my 1 year old. It’s not possible to book seats on that line. We arrived at the platform 30mins early because we knew it would be busy. As soon as the train arrived people literally pushed us out of the way to get on. Then there was a man with 2 bikes by the door, we couldn’t attempt to move to another carriage because we wouldn’t get on and the trains only run once an hour. People tutted and moaned because I was having trouble getting on. There wasn’t space to keep the buggy up so I had to carry him and people thought it was acceptable to let me stand holding a 12kg toddler, he can’t walk yet and is very energetic. I spoke out and was given a seat but everyone gave me dirty looks as if I was in the wrong. If I rocked up late or if seats were assigned I would say fair enough but I was there early and they all pushed in front. The icing on the cake was the seat I was given was in the area with the tables so he was given a makeshift drum and thought it was a social event so he proceeded to babble at everyone for the hour , people were not impressed. Is there an unwritten rule that you don’t get trains with kids? I don’t have a car

it drives me mad when parents with kids (during the holidays) use the trains at rush hour

We were on a rush hour train from London with two young kids last week because they had a filming job in London. Why were you entitled to travel at the time any more than they were?

Are you stronger than your DH?

I spoke out and was given a seat but everyone gave me dirty looks as if I was in the wrong

When you spoke out, how did you do it because if someone said politely “excuse me I’m struggling to hold my child may I have your seat/is anyone willing to offer me there seat”….. I don’t think that would get dirty looks

Unfortunately people are generally arseholes when it comes to public transport, I absolutely hate going on the train to London people everyone is completely self absorbed with no concept of anyone else. Don't take it personally!

I don't think anyone has said shoving is ok. But if you were one of the other people stood at that door, would you honestly stand there 'after you'-ing while the OP and her husband dick around with a buggy they've had 30 mins to collapse, knowing that that'll mean you don't make it onto the train and will have to wait another hour for the next one. OP and her husband were at this point blocking the doorway for other people who were ready to try to get onto the train.

Having read several of your comments, it's quite obvious you have very limited understanding of how these trains work. You absolutely cannot book these seats. As OP was a person carrying a young child she is deemed to be a priority for a seat. These priority seats are literally at the end of each carriage, not in one designated carriage. So seeing as she walked onto the carriage where the seats are she definitely did check the priority seating space.

I doubt she checked every single priority seat on every single carriage. This was probably because she was likely barely able to move on the packed train not because her and her husband were faffing or unorganised.

OP, as someone who regularly uses London trains I sympathise. People have become incredibly selfish and seem to have an every man for their own mentality. I do find it quite jarring as I was brought up to be aware of and considerate of others but a lot of people have zero empathy. As evidenced numerous time ok this thread.

I think it is just unfortunate that the train was busy when you got on. Was the platform getting busy while you were waiting? As you said you got there early to make sure you were near the front. I agree with the poster who therefore said about having the pram folded down and being ready to get on, having decided that maybe your husband could hold the toddler as I guess they might be heavier than standing holding the pushchair.

I don't know how long some people had been on the train for already but I wouldn't necessarily want to give up my seat either if I had a long journey. I have paid, the toddler hasn't and while you say he sits on your lap, not everyone wants to sit next a fidgeting toddler either so a couple may not want to separate. Maybe others had seen you were with your husband so wondered why he wasn't helping hold the little one if you were struggling.
Also people may have hidden disabilities so while you say they should have given up their seat to you as you were visibly holding a child, there may have been good reasons others didn't get up.

19 pages and we still don't know what DH was doing all this time.

Mixed

They don’t think children have the same rights to public spaces and expect parents to follow their deluded rules. I think the fuck not.

Yes we do - he was carrying the buggy.

I think you have to be pretty brave to travel with young children on a train - I don't think it is a realistic expectation that someone would give up their seat. I think people are generally happy to give up a seat for a short journey - but not 1 hour. Perhaps it may be sensible to only travel when you can book seat or for a quick journey.

so despite some pp insisting that OP is getting a hard time, it is partly because it is like getting blood out of a stone.
After several obfuscations we hear that she was indeed faffing at the doorway trying to fold the buggy.
We still have zip idea what the other adult was doing, presumably looking on with his mind in neutral? who knows

What actually happened is that OP faffed about, did get a seat and is actually complaining that people weren't gazing at her (pfb?) offspring in rapt wonder instead of just getting on with their (frazzled) journey.

sorry missed that. Beyond his manly capability to have been carrying the heavier object?

I didn't once suggest booking seats, so not sure what you're actually on about. HTH.

I’ve been getting the high speed every week for years, I’ve never seen a reserved seat.

Helping. He was folding buggy and finding somewhere to stand with that. But maybe that wasn’t enough, I might look into divorce . I’d like to point out that if he was holding the child, he also would have been entitled to priority seating, doesn’t specify gender in the guide lines and equality is important

Exactly, thanks for summing this up

This

I hate going through London too. I've just come back from there. I'm visually impaired and use a mobility cane and have booked assistance. Can't believe the amount of people who are too engrossed in their phone who are shocked that they're asked to move or look where they're going

No you can’t. Many operators don’t have reservable seats; it’s usually only the long distance ones.

When you book in advance, you are given a ‘counted place’ when it is on a route/with an operator that doesn’t have seat bookings.

To be honest I have always thought it poor that they could sell more tickets than seats from a safety perspective- however how they would manage this with open ended walk on tickets I do not know.

Apologies, ignore the bit about booking and just read the rest.

I ignored the rest after seeing it was based on an inaccuracy.

Like the majority of your comments on here.

No.
I've based all of my comments on what OP has written and actual experience.