To be so sick of being broke?

[PrincessC0nsuelaBananaHammock]

This is pretty much just a moan really. I'm already doing everything I can to try and improve our situation financially. Although nothing's working atm. 😑

Both DH and I work full-time, on minimum wage. Me 45 hours per week, him between 40-50 depending on the week. And we still can't make ends meet. I'm talking having about £50 left in the bank 2 days after payday because all the bills have come out.

Not entitled to any benefits as earn too much for UC (on MW? 😐). Kids are grown up (22 and 18) but still living at home. DD1 is in college and on UC and waiting to see if she's entitled to PIP for her autism. DD2 is starting uni next month and works part-time herself.

I'm just so fucking sick of the cost of everything. To the point I'm questioning whether I can afford to buy a £6 pack of Benadryl for my fucking hayfever! 😡

Applying for multiple better-paying jobs every week and getting bloody nowhere! Urgh.

I've been where you are, OP.

My son is disabled. He's in his 30s now. We were up to our necks in debt for about 20 years. It's hard to explain to people ...

Anyway, I agree, spending a bit so you don't go stark staring mad is important and I'm impressed you've taken control of your health.

Dunno. It sort of came right for us in the end. DH got a decent job. I went to uni as a mature student. He got made redundant. I ended up studying and working full time on the tills in a supermarket. And then I got a decent job. All those years of struggle meant I was a force to be reckoned with and I just kept going. I still can't quite believe we survived that hellish grind.

You sound fearsome. Good luck to you and your family.

Anecdotally, there seem to be far fewer people getting these now on MW. My parents started on low wages (pre the mid nineties NMW) in entry level jobs but did get promoted. An awful lot of people tell me this was normal for their parents, but, while promotions are common in professions like nursing or education, there seem to be fewer in say shop work-I know a few, but not many. Not pretending I know everyone in the world, but a lot of friends in other areas say the same thing. There's fewer jobs in general. As a teenager, I could have walked into shop work/waiting on etc, now there's fewer shops, fewer staff atthe shops that are still in my town, the cafes/pubs can't afford to take on as many staff, and use a lot of apps for ordering/self-service, most of the shops that are there are charity shops which only have volunteers.
Not trying to be bleak, just saying it really seems to be harder to get a job/get promoted if you even get one. In an ideal world, I'd say train for something else OP, but that's easier said than done when you're working FT and have no spare cash to spend on courses. I empathise.

£850 for food for four people is pretty high though, particular if you’re not eating as much on Mounjaro. There was a thread yesterday and most posters were spending £120-150 a week for a family of four, all in.

It's not just on food though, that's literally everything.

Thank you. 😊

We're in band B. No idea why or how they're banded. My dad's house is worth way more than mine (if I was buying it), plus the area he lives in is a very good one and he's band A.

I did sporadically get jobs. But dd couldn't always stay in school. Not many jobs are sympathetic when you have to leave several times a week to go and pick up your child because they're having another meltdown.

I don't know how bad your debts are but have you looked at bankruptcy? As you're renting it might be worth considering.

Moan away @PrincessC0nsuelaBananaHammock, it’s really disheartening to have two adults in full time work and still be struggling. I won’t be offering you any ‘advice’!

Sounds like you’ve done an amazing job with your kids inspite of the tough times you’ve had…and hoping their education helps spring board them into the jobs they want.

Hi Op. this sounds like a really challenging situation, and you are doing well supporting your family. i’ve recently been in this situation. i’ve got savvy shopping on ‘yellow labels’ and making dinner with whatever is reduced. and i try and bulk buy things of amazon because it’s often cheaper - like toilet roll, shampoo, deodorant etc. also, when your DC starts uni they could get a student card, which could make netflix and amazon cheaper maybe. you are doing a good job paying off debts. keep going, you will get there. sending you a hug x

As a follow up OP, did a quick AI-play around what you need annual salary-wise to be comfortable (all basic needs and a few minimal luxuries) in the UK. It spat out that in 2019 this figure was circa £56k and in 2025 it has risen to £88k. For comparison, a family with two FT minimum wages jobs earns circa £48k.

This was based on the Minimum Income Standard research led by the Joseph Rowntree Foundation and Loughborough University, which is updated regularly by calculating the real-world costs of housing, bills, food, clothing, childcare, transport, and other essentials at the time.

You have every right to want a moan about this. It’s tough out there for so so many people.

I definitely think it would be a good idea to take advice your debt situation from one of the charities recommended by Money Saving Expert if you haven’t already OP.

Sorry, I know you are probably all ‘adviced out’ by now

I’m sorry that you’ve experienced that, if they have eligible needs - they are entitled to support. They only need to meet two of the criteria under the care act -

     Managing toilet needs. 

• Being appropriately clothed.

• Making use of the adult's home safely.

• Maintaining a habitable home environment.

• Developing and maintaining personal relationships.

• Accessing and engaging in work, training, education or volunteering.

• Making use of local facilities and services.

Obviously if the only support they need is around cleaning or shopping the LA won’t provide that but if they need that level of support that you cannot work then they must be eligible so I’d suggest that you ask for a reassessment and keep raising complaints until you get to the ombudsman.

You could also request that your mums GP do a continuing healthcare checklist for her - as her needs sound like they’re more health related. If she triggers then she may be able to access support through the NHS.

I see why it doesn’t feel like a choice, I personally couldn’t give up work to support my family member, when they were dying of cancer and needed round the clock care, she wouldn’t accept support off anyone other than me and my OH, so we had to move in with her but we both had to do her care around work as we just wouldn’t be able to give up work, it was never an option for us, but I can see there’s a difference as there was an end in sight for us as she was terminal.

I hope you are able to get your parents the support they should be entitled to

Forgot to say our GP surgery for weight less drug is practically impossible. BMI over 40 and 4 other conditions as well!
Definitely try and speak to Stepchange because it’s the debit repaying that what is dragging you down.
I also don’t blame you for the little luxuries it’s soul destroying otherwise.

So obviously a big issue is the debt repayments. Have you got an estimate of when you'll be finished paying? Sometimes it helps to know its 3 yrs or whatever then everything will get better.

If you could clear the debt you could have hundreds more a month. Have you got anything at all you could sell to pay a bit extra off & get free of it?

There's a huge demand for childcare at the moment. Have you considered doing an evening qualification to become a childminder working out of your own home? Offering wraparound care before and after school can be really lucrative, you could have (for example) 6 kids paying £25 a day, thats £150 a day. Even knocking off £30 for costs like food, insurance etc, you could make more working fewer hours - £120 a day is £600 a week.

You could also fit in some cleaning work during the school day and make more money that way - where i live cleaners are on £17-20 an hour, even in cheaper areas its £15.

I do think that:

a) you need a plan for life after the mounjaro - you don't want to be paying for it forever, even now you are on a very cheap deal, staying on it to maintain is just going to be too expensive.
b) ask your DDs to contribute just a bit to the food shop. £20 a week or something - you are spending quite a lot, its actually good for them to learn how much things cost.
c) on the debt is your credit rating fucked? Are you paying a lot of interest or could there be a way to get a lower interest loan or credit card with zero interest period, pay the debt then your repayments will go further as all going on capital

Suggest you do the 'Rebel Finance' course on YouTube if you get time. Really useful help about personal finances & it's free...

Yep.

I lost my job as soon as it became apparent my son would need extra care, constant appointments etc.

Have you had help from CAB or a debt advice charity regards the utility and other debt? Or have you just been dealing with your creditors direct? If it's the latter then now might be the time to get help from an advisor. Not only will they be able to negotiate on your behalf, they may be able to obtain grants and do a benefits check.

Minimum wage jobs and ridiculous expenses=broke. Don’t understand the post.

I think your main struggle relates to your debt. I’d want those bailiffs off my back asap. Can you sell anything on Vinted to generate some extra cash to pay off this debt? Even putting things on for >£5 can be worth it as it all adds up.

Definitely contact your utility companies to enquire about support towards payments for lower income families. I know my water company helps people on NMW a lot.

Also, try to get your food bill down even slightly. Could all the family be on board with this challenge? What swaps could we make? Research cheap but tasty meals and take turns to cook them. At least whilst you’re making debt repayments but by then your spending habits may have changed and you can begin to build sinking funds.

I can understand why you are keeping your WLI and tv packages for what it’s worth. Get the whole family on board and see if you can get that debt cleared so the money can be put towards treats for everyone.

Are your kids contributing at all,m My dad wouldn't expect anything if we didn't work but if we had an income he would charge us housekeeping, he wouldn't ask for any more than we could afford but it helped towards the running costs of the house.
Try to get a cheaper phone contract, j just changed mine from £16pm to £8pm. How on earth are you spending £850 pm on groceries, that's over £100 a week, how big is your family? My husband usedctompkay a ganeveith me while teaching me to biget he eoukd naneca meal and send me intonthr shoo to buy the items for this meal as cheaply as possible, I had to think about what we already had at home, how I could buy something for a little less, e.g. short dated reduced stock, loose rather than packaged veg, cheaper cuts of meat etc. Gym membership is a luxury not an essential, buy yourself a cheap yoga mat and exercise at home to youtube videos. Look at comparison sites for cheaper Internet I'm sure you can find a cheaper provider that is still fast enough for what you need.

I don't know how you manage to do anything with that big fucking chip on your shoulder OP

YANBU to be sick of being broke.
YABU to not be able to acknowledge that you are broke because of choices you've made and continue to make

Same as most of us. Where we are is down to the choices we make and the paths we take 🤷‍♀️

There are free VPNs.
You don't need to pay £132 per year for that.
Phone contracts - keep your phone once your contract is over and get a sim only deal...these can be very cheap.
Tbh the issue is your debt and your disinterest in tackling that.
CAP.org and stepchange are good people to talk to.
Lots of people use the Dave Ramsey method to get out of debt.
Good luck.

I know you don't want help, but look up Dave Ramsay and the baby steps. It might just help you free up cash and get ahead x