To be so sick of being broke?

[PrincessC0nsuelaBananaHammock]

This is pretty much just a moan really. I'm already doing everything I can to try and improve our situation financially. Although nothing's working atm. 😑

Both DH and I work full-time, on minimum wage. Me 45 hours per week, him between 40-50 depending on the week. And we still can't make ends meet. I'm talking having about £50 left in the bank 2 days after payday because all the bills have come out.

Not entitled to any benefits as earn too much for UC (on MW? 😐). Kids are grown up (22 and 18) but still living at home. DD1 is in college and on UC and waiting to see if she's entitled to PIP for her autism. DD2 is starting uni next month and works part-time herself.

I'm just so fucking sick of the cost of everything. To the point I'm questioning whether I can afford to buy a £6 pack of Benadryl for my fucking hayfever! 😡

Applying for multiple better-paying jobs every week and getting bloody nowhere! Urgh.

But you’re not broke.
you have chosen to spend money every month on what are not necessities and are in some cases luxuries. The sense of entitlement around being able to afford such items is astonishing.
gym- luxury
weight loss drugs not prescribed- luxury
having a pet- lifestyle choice that must be considered if affordable
expensive phones -luxury
multiple tv subscriptions- frivolous at best
expensive food choices- luxury/choice
supporting two additional adults- choice.

all of the above mean you have no money left. But if you cannot see that with all these choices you are living a very enjoyable, not ordinary or scrimping/poor lifestyle then you have a real problem.

It's the debt which is killing you (as I'm sure you know).

We have similar income but no debt and it is manageable but I wouldn't like to find another £600 every month.

Do you have the finish dates for each? If you can chip off one or renegotiate any of the payments it would give you more breathing space.

You have had shitty comments but the look after the pennies advice is sound. It's fine to say WLI, gym and subscriptions are a priority for your family. E all need something.

But then you do need to look at what you can shave to cover them. Feeding four adults (one with an intolerance) is expensive but if you could get £50 a month off it would make as difference. I've seen people extend the food shop by a day each week (so every 8 days rather than 7) for example. Make use of leftovers (I got my husband an electric lunchbox which heats on a 12v in van). It is a good incentive to eat smaller portions when you can stretch stew, cottage pie, etc to a lunch sized portion.
Reduce the phones when you can get out of the contracts. £10 here and there is money to chuck at debt to free you from the cycle.

When it comes to jobs, really focus on your transferrable skills. I'd make a spreadsheet with a few columns if you are applying across sectors so retail, manufacturing etc so you have it ready for each application and can tailor appropriately.
Don't forget that if it's manufacturing for example things like understanding health and safety protocols, used to working in cold, monitoring/equipment checks, spills kit training etc are all appropriate (and good if you have less in the way of formal qualifications).

Sorry if I've made an assumption here but my husband has very little in way of educational qualifications and things like the Indeed standard CV format puts these first which is useless.

If that's the case a skills based CV is good. Lead with a relevant descriptor e.g experienced fork lift truck driver with 20 years in manufacturing and then give licence categories, health and safety training etc.

I sift CVs and I see a depressing number where people must have the experience based on their job titles but as they haven't told me this anywhere - and other candidates have - it has to be a no for interview. This is worse in lower paid jobs in some ways where more candidates meet the requirements and you can't possibly interview 100 so you have to reduce the numbers.

well yes, because you'd be able to afford it. Absolutely bat shit to sign up for that if it leaves you with 50 quid cash for the month.

Even with your Netflix and VPN (I don't think any of my friend group have that either) thats still almost another 50 quid on subscriptions.
You complain you're broke, but there's a decent whack of spending that is choice, and that plenty of people do without. Which is fine if that is what you want to spend your money on, just don't complain then that you don't have any!

Agree with this- if you work 40 hours a week you should be able to pay £20.00 a month for netflix- it's ridiculous the amount of people judging her for this!

And people telling her husband to look for a new job, yes he probably could by why shouldn't a milkman be able to afford to live comfortably.

I do find it quite hard to leave the house with that heavy chip draped across my shoulder.

You're right, let's send my dog to a rescue centre because some random on the internet thinks I'm entitled. What I want to say to you begins in f and ends in f.

As for "supporting additional adults, I take you'll be kicking your kids out on their 18th birthday? And how you describe anyone who earns £12.21 a fucking hour as "not poor" is absolutely beyond me.

Because you said it, She “feels” that she can’t change certain things to improve her financial situation when in actual fact there are lots of things ( other people have listed on here) that she can change to improve it, yet she ignores it for various reasons. OP is not looking for solutions, she’s looking for a moan whilst throwing silly sarcastic comments at anyone attempting to help her save money.

OP not sure why you’re getting such horrible responses. You’re not the only one feeling the bite at the moment. As pps have said when is your debt payments ending? This will help as they’re some of your biggest payments. Hope you get through it x

edited to say also you do need some money for fun otherwise what’s the point in it all. So everyone berating you for Netflix. It is ok to want to spend a bit of cash on something you and your family enjoy. As long as not going mad. Which you aren’t

If you actually read the thread you'd see that I'm replying nicely to people who are being genuinely helpful. Those that just criticise (like yourself) get sarcastic remarks. Quite deserved IMO.

Also I did actually say in the first sentence of my OP I was just wanting a moan! I didn't ask for advice, people just gave it.

Thanks. There's another 18 months -2 years on the debts. I think those giving me a hard time are only doing it because a few other people did in the beginning. One does it, they all jump on. Like sheep, they've nothing better to do and must follow the crowd.

But it’s all relative isn’t it. Maybe I’m considering poor to be people who have no income, can’t afford to buy cheap food, can’t clothe themselves, can’t house themselves. Your life in comparison seems pretty comfortable.

The banding was done decades ago which is why it seems so random now though basically the lower the value of the house the lower the council tax band is with A being the lowest. I'm in a Band A in a shit area in a fairly deprived city and pay £133 and that is with the single person 25% discount . Second-highest rate of council tax in the country and the council is technically bankrupt too so fun times all round. Don't blame you for having a moan, I was trawling though my bank statements looking for something I paid for ages ago and was shocked at the difference between my outgoings four years ago and now. Gas and Elec up 61%, water up 59%, council tax up 20%. Couldn't face looking at my old food shopping amounts. It is horrible being skint

I'm sorry.
It's shit.

I think you're doing quite well, but I understand your frustration.
Of course you're not going to take money from your kids at this point as you don't want them to feel like you do.
If it helps, these were the worst years for me too. Mine are 24 and 21 now, both suddenly work full time at just above nmw in jobs with a clear progression, so your sacrifices will be worth it.

I don't think there's much more you can do currently. Keep on with the pip for your daughter. Google 'local support worker charity' and see if you can get her one for free for a few months. This will be invaluable in helping her access what she's entitled to and helping with the paperwork.

Always pay council tax first. They escalate quickly. But obviously you know this now!

It might be worth emailing your housing officer and explaining your situation. They may have suggestions. This is obviously dependent on how decent they are! But even if you get no response, it's good to have done this now if things become even more tight in the future. They're likely to be more sympathetic if youve told them in advance about budgeting issues.

The only thing you can really save on is food, I'm happy to give you suggestions if you want them, but I'm reluctant to push that if you're happy with it currently. (This was my work voice, I'm a benefits advisor!)

And I understand about the benadryl. It's the only name brand medication I use too!

You raised two amazing kids. You are doing bloody well. You've managed to lose weight while navigating everything life has thrown at you. You are nearly there.

Sometimes we just need a bitching moan, because it feels completely neverending. Let it out on Mumsnet. I do!

Don’t know why you’re getting such a hard time from some posters op. The cost of living is higher than it’s been in decades and wages have largely stagnated. Two people working full time should be entitled to some fuckin small luxuries in life! Since when does having a paid-for TV package, a pet and a pass to go swimming become a luxury. What have we become in the UK?! it’s not a race to the bottom where we all live ultra frugal lives with nothing but the very basics of food, water, heating and shelter. We are the 6TH largest economy in the world yet we have far too many people living in poverty or just scraping by and barely getting to pay day. Yes maybe op could cut back on her swimming or give up her dog or kick her kids out (joking on that one obviously) but what a sad sad reality that would be in our mega rich country.

Yes exactly but op says she does not get PIP and has not been through the work capability process so I'm a bit baffled how she gets UC but I imagine it will stop when she starts college.

I know it seems like a long time at the moment, but the next eighteen months will whizz by. Who knows - you might both be in better jobs in six months and can over pay a bit more and that might mean that the debt is nearly gone in just over a year….. it could happen.

It Feels like an uphill struggle because it is and you’re at the part where there seems to be no end - but it’s not too far away.

And keep the tv subscriptions and gym membership etc because if you strip away all the extras you’d be utterly miserable, and that’s when things get even worse (because at some point you’d pop and potentially spend what you don’t have having a blow out to improve your mood which is short lived - been there and done that myself in the past). So those little extras can just keep you going.

You’re nearly there.

It is but she just wants to feel sorry for herself, have a rant and be rude to others on here who offer help. No wonder she's in the situation she's in - in debt yet has weight loss injections, won't think about children paying towards own food or phones (even a token amount), has a gym membership, has Amazon prime, Disney, netflix and a VPN and pays a stupid amount on food - but poor her let her rant about being skint.

Yeah she's allowed to have a moan but at the same time people are allowed to comment on her being ridiculous to not think actually she has a decent household income to be getting on more comfortably.

Id be embarrassed to post this and then to say I'm wasting money on these areas.

Flipping hell at least have one subscription at a time. Have Netflix, take a break and then pay for Disney or prime. You not asking your kids to chip in, even if just £10 for their PAYG Phones could set them up to be like you, not financially aware and being in debt and still not prioritising spending. Hopefully they don't get into that situation and also become angry/rude.

I can't even get an appointment with my GP! I have get my HRT from Boots because my GP won't even entertain seeing me for menopause!

I know this isn't an advice thread, but all the same ... 😉 I've been paying for mine (from Oxford Online Pharmacy, cheaper than Boots) for two years. Spoke to my GP on the phone last week. He said "We're more relaxed about HRT now" and put it on prescription. Worth another go, perhaps?

Second or weekend job, maybe a cafe/shop/pub both you and dh should do and your kids are grown so can be left alone

Yes, certainly things are expensive but - trying to say this as gently as possible - since you're fully adult, why haven't you been able to earn more than minimum wage by now?

Once the Pip comes through they can cover their own food costs plus their own expenses. This will help no end.

In addition can the other youngster up her hours at all or wd it compromise her academic grades?

Can you reduce or cancel any direct debits? Change your supermarket of choice? Buy own brand items only? Shop in the reduced aisles regularly? Buy yellow sticker foods?

PAYG is expensive. Change to a sim only deal.

Op I’m really sorry that things are tough financially. Some - many - of the responses on this thread are completely out of order.

I hope that things improve for you and absolutely hear what you are saying - life is a bloody grind these days. Well done on supporting your children and on your weight loss. You sound amazing actually. Onwards, my friend 💪🏼💪🏼

So according to your finances you should have £300 spare?
You could cancel subscriptions and have freeview
Dont take out new phone contacts when they runout, go sim free.
your dh could buy some second hand weights and workout at home or go running.
Ask your kids to contribute £100 a month each at least until the debt is cleared.
Your food bill is high, we are 4 adults and 1 child, (2 autistic and 1 adhd) we spend around £700 per month on food/toiletries /cleaning. Also use tesco. We only eat meat 3x a week and found that saved a lot.

Without knowing the ins & outs of DH contract, my immediate concern in whether his company are complying with paying NMW. I can’t make the numbers stack up without coming to the conclusion they’re shorting his wages. I’m assuming he’s salaried? Are his pension contributions salary sacrifice? (Many are - they payslip will show this).