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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To Air Tag my son?

163 replies

Cluborange666 · 09/08/2025 13:52

Son is 15. We live in Manchester which does have a rough element, also the bomb is still at the back of my mind. DS has just got his first girlfriend from the other side of Manchester and they meet in the middle.
I bought a box of AirTags as my elder son (who is AuDHD) will be travelling to university every day with his brand new and expensive laptop (and he has massive form for forgetting bags).
I had the idea of making my younger child carry an AirTag in his pocket whilst in Manchester as a safety precaution. He says no and my husband supports this. I feel like it’s a good idea. Not because I will spy on him but in case he runs out of money or loses his phone and can’t get home. I’ll put it to the jury.

OP posts:
DeliaOwens · 10/08/2025 22:25

No to an Air Tag if he does not want it.

If hIs phone is lost/stolen he asks in a café, shop, even Police Station, if he can phone you or another responsible adult. Surely he knows your phone number to call in an emergency?

Adolescence is about developing independence and this level of constant monitoring may undermine his ability to make decisions, manage risks, and learn from mistakes.
This AirTag obsession might delay his development of self-reliance/risk assessment if he grows used to the idea that you’ll always be able to “rescue” him.
surely you want a strong minded, independent, son? Isn’t that the end goal in parenting?

I had to learn, ‘street smarts’, I had to trust my gut, and make choices. I did make some mistakes, but I learned so much from making them. I bet you did too?

Let him know you support him, that he can always call in an emergency, that you will come -no questions asked, if he needs you. Say again, if he ever wants the Air Tag, you will supply it

Then let him live his life, mistakes and all!

Anotheranonymousname · 10/08/2025 23:12

YABU to think putting an airtag in a teenager's pocket will be useful for telling you anything more than where the airtag is. We live in a not-naice part of South London. DP and I are teachers, one of us has students who are involved with the criminal justice system, carrying blades and being victims of crime. The suggestion that an airtag in their pocket will be of any use for keeping them safe would be laughed at by them (although a couple who had their electric bikes nicked do put airtags in the frame of their replacement bikes).

You need to make sure your DS knows your number and his dad's number, that his GF and other friends he hangs out with have your number saved in his phone and that he has thought through what he'd do if he didn't have his phone for whatever reason. My own teenagers are not tagged or tracked and we don't use the apps mentioned by others. They travel around London independently, including our area and further afield. Eldest has spent a bit of time in parts of Manchester and various other cities. Both of them let us know who they're with and what their plans are. If there's a change we need to know about, they tell us.

Miaminmoo · 11/08/2025 00:49

If he has an iPhone why don’t you just have a family group set up so you can see locations? Less intrusive and useful in an emergency.

BourgeoisBabe · 11/08/2025 01:58

I have a 16 year old and live in a big city. I have decided to do no phone tracking as I think it would just feed my anxiety. Also he deserves privacy as he is nearly an adult.

BourgeoisBabe · 11/08/2025 01:59

Miaminmoo · 11/08/2025 00:49

If he has an iPhone why don’t you just have a family group set up so you can see locations? Less intrusive and useful in an emergency.

Personally I don't like this, I value privacy

FreyaW · 11/08/2025 01:59

Cluborange666 · 09/08/2025 13:52

Son is 15. We live in Manchester which does have a rough element, also the bomb is still at the back of my mind. DS has just got his first girlfriend from the other side of Manchester and they meet in the middle.
I bought a box of AirTags as my elder son (who is AuDHD) will be travelling to university every day with his brand new and expensive laptop (and he has massive form for forgetting bags).
I had the idea of making my younger child carry an AirTag in his pocket whilst in Manchester as a safety precaution. He says no and my husband supports this. I feel like it’s a good idea. Not because I will spy on him but in case he runs out of money or loses his phone and can’t get home. I’ll put it to the jury.

He said no. No means no.

RoseAlone · 11/08/2025 03:17

Airtags are hopeless they barely work. Most people I know have life 360 or use find my.

RealOliveTraybake · 11/08/2025 04:13

Personal experience says that life360 etc. don't really help with piece of mind. Having personally received an automated emergency message from someone dear to me, it's of little use when they were already dead.

Stop attack helicopter parenting.

JRM17 · 11/08/2025 13:09

If he was 5yrs I'd say possibly but FFS he's 15 he needs to live.

legolegoeverywhereandnotadroptodrink · 11/08/2025 13:22

Hasnt he got a phone?

get him to text you a couple of times during thr day to let you know all is ok

NoSoupForU · 11/08/2025 13:49

All location tracking does is tell you where the device is. It doesn't offer any safety mechanisms whatsoever. What it actually does is dumb people, especially young people, down. You should be raising your kids to be able to problem solve and apply critical thinking. Your son should be capable of knowing what to do in an emergency instead of relying on GPS keeping him safe.

I couldn't envisage any scenario in which I'd permit anybody to track me because its a massive invasion of privacy and normal boundaries, it reduces actual communication skills and feeds into ridiculous levels of anxiety.

And speaking of anxiety, making decisions based on a standalone event that occurred 8 years ago is really not ok.

Leaningtowerofpisa · 11/08/2025 16:01

Having gone through this type of phase myself with slightly older teens (female) and young adult (male) I just wanted to firstly empathise with how hard I think this stage is for a parent. I think if you are a especially a parent who is slightly on the more anxious side and thinks of all the possible problems it’s very natural to want to feel the air tag or whatever location tracker can then help you relax so you know for example they are on their way/ on the bus/made it to destination etc.

From an anxious parents perspective however this is more about you than him. That is hard to accept. The lack of control, the feeling you can’t protect if anything went wrong or couldn’t be there, the horrible sickening feeling that they are hurting/ being hurt but you couldn’t find them. I do think it’s worth acknowledging all the horrible thoughts that can drive the behaviours of feeling the need to track your child.

To some extent for myself, I think the news I read has filled me full of the horror stories. Probably fuelling that anxiety and then a ‘fix it’ type personality who then wants a relief from that anxiety. It’s hard to accept that we do however need to get through the pain and anxiety so we actually give our children the gift of independence and the problem solving skills to work stuff out for themselves that will probably then actually help them in a crisis.

lots of good practical advice on this thread about what to do instead of tracking - I just wanted to acknowledge the deeper layer it comes from a bit more. I’ve personally struggled with the letting go process in general and it’s definitely not helped my relationships with my teens at times. Or my DH who agrees with them and not me.
My son did however once turn around and said - you know Mum you do need to realise that I have a strong survival instinct. I guess that was when I realised my job really was done and he was now a fully separate and capable individual. That’s the best we can hope for.

WeirdANDSadTimes · 11/08/2025 16:16

The only time I track my DC is via Flightradar as I love that! That is for the older ones, I have younger DC too and they grow up knowing general safety life skills and ultimately I their safety net if needed, not a tracker or an app.

Like PPs DC, they have emergency cash in their shoe and mobile numbers for me/siblings etc.

Re technology, as they’ve grown up they’ve (at their own instigation) added me on Snapchat (though I have no doubt they have other user accounts I don’t see 😂 or get bombarded with stories!) They also know the log in for my own uber account so can always book an emergency taxi even those at uni etc. The other important thing they know is to let me know if a phone has been stolen/lost to contact me immediately (if I pay for the SIM) so I can block the account with provider, or do it asap for their own phones. They also know how to freeze a bank card on their phone app if a card is lost/stolen.

An over reliance on technology is dangerous these days IMO as well as intrusive. On that note they also know to have an account with more than one bank in case there is a problem with a bank as there has been a few instances recently.

WeirdANDSadTimes · 11/08/2025 16:20

I also think there is a difference in the safety advice you give to female and male DC but that’s another thread in its own right. What use is a tracker for a DD whose biggest risk statistically is the boyfriend?

Ensuring they have safety knowledge and skills is much much more important than air tags especially as these teenagers very quickly grow into adults…

dizzydizzydizzy · 11/08/2025 16:44

As others have said, talk to him about sensible ways to stay safe. The most important thing IMHO is to be constantly aware of your surrounding, so avoid walking around wearing headphones because you won’t hear anyone or anything coming up behind you,

Please don’t try to track him against his will.

abracadabra1980 · 11/08/2025 16:58

15 is too old for an AirTag. Embarrassing really.

Atina321 · 12/08/2025 22:15

Are you going to allow him access to your location at all times as well?

We share locations as a family, the teenager can teach us as much as we can track her. We only really use it so we can see when her bus is nearly back to start dinner 🤣

Dontsayyouloveme · 12/08/2025 22:34

Cluborange666 · 09/08/2025 13:52

Son is 15. We live in Manchester which does have a rough element, also the bomb is still at the back of my mind. DS has just got his first girlfriend from the other side of Manchester and they meet in the middle.
I bought a box of AirTags as my elder son (who is AuDHD) will be travelling to university every day with his brand new and expensive laptop (and he has massive form for forgetting bags).
I had the idea of making my younger child carry an AirTag in his pocket whilst in Manchester as a safety precaution. He says no and my husband supports this. I feel like it’s a good idea. Not because I will spy on him but in case he runs out of money or loses his phone and can’t get home. I’ll put it to the jury.

Not read full thread, if he can’t get home under his own steam, he calls you and asks you to pick him up worst case scenario. But I’d remind him that his phone must have plenty of charge in before he heads out.

Notmy1stRodeo · 12/08/2025 22:37

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Teanandtoast · 12/08/2025 23:00

PolyVagalNerve · 09/08/2025 14:09

Life 360 or find my phone

No AirTag - that’s a step too far

I've not got any of these so genuine question please could you explain why air tag a step too far than life 360 or find my phone? I thought they all just located the person? My kids are little at the moment but thinking about when they've got phones etc! Thank you xx

McSilkson · 12/08/2025 23:49

Why don't you get him microchipped...?

blunderbuss12 · 13/08/2025 08:44

I still don't understand how tracking kids helps with their safety.

CurlewKate · 13/08/2025 10:31

blunderbuss12 · 13/08/2025 08:44

I still don't understand how tracking kids helps with their safety.

I regularly ask this on these threads-no one will ever tell me. At least I don’t think anyone has said on this thread that they track their family so they “know when to put the kettle on”…

CurlewKate · 13/08/2025 10:35

In fact, I’m the only person (I think) who has had a valid reason to track a child-my dd used to like to ride out on her pony on her own, and we used to temporarily put tracking on so we could find her if she fell off. We untracked as soon as she was safely home.

RealOliveTraybake · 14/08/2025 09:23

CurlewKate · 13/08/2025 10:35

In fact, I’m the only person (I think) who has had a valid reason to track a child-my dd used to like to ride out on her pony on her own, and we used to temporarily put tracking on so we could find her if she fell off. We untracked as soon as she was safely home.

Would you let your DD ride a motorcycle on their own? It's a similar risk profile to horse riding of all types, and results in more deaths or serious injuries than motorcycling per hour.