To Air Tag my son?

[Cluborange666]

Son is 15. We live in Manchester which does have a rough element, also the bomb is still at the back of my mind. DS has just got his first girlfriend from the other side of Manchester and they meet in the middle.
I bought a box of AirTags as my elder son (who is AuDHD) will be travelling to university every day with his brand new and expensive laptop (and he has massive form for forgetting bags).
I had the idea of making my younger child carry an AirTag in his pocket whilst in Manchester as a safety precaution. He says no and my husband supports this. I feel like it’s a good idea. Not because I will spy on him but in case he runs out of money or loses his phone and can’t get home. I’ll put it to the jury.

Can’t you just do Find my Friends?

That's not true. I live in Manchester, and you can pay with cash on the bus.

And yes there are payphones.

Maybe his job is skewing your view of the world? I don't see what's more dangerous about Manchester than any other big city. And crime is lower than it was when we were children. So it's your perception that is the issue.

Possibly. I don't know. His job has definitely skewed his view of the world, he thinks I'm naive. But every family I know tracks their children.

I have family who have worked in social care/young offenders/police/court services over the past 40 years. The amount of children carrying knives/tools etc is ridiculous and has risen. The amount of children who commit crime without any kind of guilt or remorse is scary. The types of crimes that children are committing is more serious and increasing.

I'm not saying Manchester is more dangerous than any other big city, I'm saying we live in Manchester and I know it's dangerous here.

Crime rates are lower now though. The difference is you know about it. It was much harder to find out about stuff before 24 hour news, TikTok etc.

No one I know tracks their teens. Tracking a teenager isn’t going to stop them getting stabbed is it?

I get what you're saying. But it won't stop me tracking my kids. I know about the dangers and the way some kids behave. My DC will hopefully never be in a position where they are faced with the kind of children who carry knives.

But, I have a family member who died after being stabbed to death and two who have been in prison for violent crime (with a deadly weapon). My perception is skewed. Knowing where my kids are and being able to get to them swiftly of needed is high on our list on priorities.

I'm more concerned about traffic and air pollution (which ironically may also increase crime).

He would be with his g.f he can also approach someone and ask to call someone as he has lost his phone. I’m for life 360 that’s the way I’d go for the family.
Anything else is too much .

I did this with my kids on holiday, but they're 7 and 9 and we were at disneyworld. I think a 15 yr old in Manchester is just fine. I'd just discuss life knowledge with him, always carry a bit of change just in case, you can get a taxi and sort out payment at home (make sure you keep emergency cash or a credit card somewhere in the house), look at a key safe if either of them are key losers, plan your route and check online for any train or bus changes/cancellations, always let someone know where you're planning on being and when you will be home.
I thinking tagging them is actually not very helpful, it doesn't help you know if anything has happened to them, or if they need help. Plus they need to be able to help themselves not just stand there and hope their mum comes to get them. You definitely can't do it without his permission.

We havr an app called life 360 for our 12 year old. It tracks his locatikn he is not allowed out without it on on his phone.
How old is your son?

Who does it benefit and how?

My brother air tagged my niece. She’s 16 and a bit of a wild child - at first I was dead against it but when he found her drunk in a field on her own I changed my mind. It’s not ethical, but sometimes you need to be a bit unethical. Your son doesn’t sounds like he’s silly, so I wouldn’t do it, but if you are really worried and genuinely feel it’s necessary then maybe you should proceed. I also AirTag my 4 year old who’s a runner, honestly I’d chip him like a cat if I could.

I pay both DDs and my DSis phone bills. And I am clear with them that, in return for my money, I get location sharing on FindMyFriends. I did tell them that I will only use it if I have reason to be worried and I have never once looked at it and then questioned them about their movements but they do all have AuDHD and do get into difficulty sometimes.
They are all adults now and I often say that if they decide they want to pay their own phone bills, I will understand and funnily enough they are all able to accept my condition!

He is 15, not 11. It’s a little suffocating

I don't think you can do this without consent even though I understand why you would want to. This is mainly for you though and it won't teach him how to cope which is an essential skill.

Get him to make sure he has both yours and DH's (and perhaps a friend/GF) number written on paper. Keep £2-5 in small change for use in an emergency, or a bank card in a separate place to his phone. Who would be approach in that situation? You need to think about that together.

Manchester isn't that scary, I'd avoid hanging round Piccadilly gardens or the approach to Piccadilly for too long but quite busy to pass through.

I do like the idea for bags (with consent) but I would also suggest to your elder DS that keeping one hand on all removable belongings is wise (because even if you locate it you still have to retrieve 😂)

When I was 21, fresh out of university I moved abroad to be with my bf. This was in the 1980s so obviously no mobile phones etc. It was really expensive and the queues were always long to call abroad (home) and after all that my parents would be out! Anyway life got busy and almost a year went by without me calling. In the end dm found the number of bf's office and called him asking if he'd murdered me.

I don’t think you are being unreasonable my son has a tracker on his phone would he not have that? It’s just for peace of mind and his safety.

I would make sure he knows your phone number off by heart. That way he can call home. When I was younger I knew so many numbers now I don’t! But can still remember my grandparents landlines.

But how does having a tracker on the phone keep him "safe"?

Maybe parents track their teens so if they are home late they know where they are, mine used to sometimes come in later than he was supposed to when he was about 14 or 15 as I did and I would have known where he was. They usually just mumble "around a friends" but you have no idea if this is true or not.

Ask him to get the Life360 app. You can both see each other and track each other by your phones and he’ll have consented to doing so. It’s free and works really well. It’s what me and my teens use.

No. They need freedom

All of us. We live in outskirts of london. Our son rudes his bike everywhere, traffic is terrible. Hes been chased several times with people trying to steal his bike. He has a set number of places hes allowed to go to. Jf something happens on the bike we would be alerted, if something else more sinister happns we would have last known location etc.

Your teenage son is regularly chased and threatened and you feel there is a real risk of “something sinister” happening? Personally, my DS wouldn’t be riding his bike but going on public transport. Tagging would not be my first thought.

I don't let him on public transport. Too dangerous.
He is allowed in a certain area to bike to meet friends.
But yes, he has been chased at least 3 times in the past year.
His cousin was attacked on a bus last year. Kids round here are robbed for their coats and trainers and phones reguarly. We ljve ina posh suburb and kids from other areas come specifically to rob the kids with nice stuff. 2 kids were stabbed to death in broad daylight on a bus in south east london in the past 2 years.
So yes to location tracking and no to public transport.