To delete this comment on FB about alcohol

[Frustratedfifty]

DH and I went out last night. I took a photo of him in a wine bar and it was a really nice pic so I posted it on FB. Got the usual likes and a few comments about how he never ages (he doesn’t - annoying haha). One of my aunties commented ‘you two drinking again!’

This isn’t the first time she’s said something like this. For context we drink alcohol once or twice a week and I’m not someone who posts a lot about drinking. I post on SM a couple of times a month - mostly walks we’ve gone on, concerts or sport. She never comments on those - only when alcohol is visible or we are in a bar.

My aunty has given up drinking a while ago for health reasons (was told she had to). Prior to that she drank a bottle of wine every night for decades. So the hypocrisy is wild!

I’ve hidden the comment but apparently the person and their friends can still see it so my whole family basically. I know my mum will be upset about it. AIBU to delete it?

I'd be tempted to reply something like 'Yes! But don't worry, nowhere near your previous levels LOL'

I’d reply “Yep”

It's your Facebook , isn't it up to you what it shows? I don't see how a hidden comment can be seen though, that's not how it works for me

I googled and it says the hidden comment will be still be seen by the person who posted it and their friends. If you want it to disappear completely you have to delete it.

Why do you care. Just put a laughing emoji on it.

Just delete it, she’s being rude. She will probably just think there was a glitch or it didn’t post properly

This is brilliant 😂 but you’d have to be pretty brave to post it OP!
Otherwise just delete

I wouldn’t delete it, but from my pov it shows her up to be a bit of a twat really.

I just googled to check and I think you may have misunderstood, I think it means that the person and their friends can see a comment if it's also posted somewhere else on Facebook. I'm pretty sure that if it's on your own post hidden means no one can see it

What would be the reasons not to simply delete?

Reply and say ‘yes dear, you taught me well’

I would have deleted it straight away and change her to ‘acquaintance’ and set it up so she doesn’t see future posts but remains your friend so won’t notice. Unless she cross references with other family members in which case I would also downgrade the ones you think might tell her about your posts!

or create an album for socialising photos and don’t include her in the able to view list and only add photos of anything like this to that album.

That’s what DH says. And that everyone in the family knows she drank heavily for most of her life.

I was wondering if I was being too sensitive. If it was a one off I would just think how strange but she’s making a habit of it so it’s annoying me.

She probably thinks it’s funny.

Part of the irritating ‘jocular’ nudge wink trope of ‘a cheeky cocktail’ ‘wine o clock’ every birthday card for women a pathetic joke about Prosecco, same for men with beer.

Ignore (as in like every other comment except hers) or delete

"Yeah, cheers!" 😁🍻

This is what I (and I think most people I know would say).

Why has this struck such a nerve that you not only didn't reply in a light hearted way or ignore it, but you've actually come to Mumsnet looking for advice??

Goodness me.

I think this is a ‘her’ problem. She can’t drink any more so is hyper focused on people who can. My dad gave up drinking about 15 years ago. He didn’t drink to your aunt’s levels but he drank more than recommended. He regularly polices comments on family members’ drinking (and none of us are big drinkers at all, maybe a glass of wine with a meal) It’s tedious.

Delete it. I also have an elderly aunt who posts annoying comments on my FB posts. Just irritating and slightly undermining comments. I delete them, don’t think she even notices…

Nah don't delete it, just change the privacy settings on your photos to Friends Except Aunt

If you do anything other than ignore it you will cause gossip and speculation that it's hit a nerve. People who properly know you won't suddenly start thinking you're problem drinkers. People who hardly know you shouldn't really matter. Besides, drinking regularly in our society is viewed as a positive sign that you're fun people living your best lives. Which is a discussion for another thread.

I would be delete it, I would say something like,yep, sorry you can’t anymore

"We've never had your skills at smashing a couple of bottles of wine a night, Auntie - a couple of G&T's will do us for the week!"

Tag her and then close the post to comments.

Don’t let anyone make you feel bad about enjoying a night out. Block her and tell her to her face exactly why.

I’d reply to her comment along the lines of ‘those who lived in glasshouses for years shouldn’t be throwing stones at those who pop in occasionally’ tbh

No, OP is correct. If you've hidden a comment, it remains visible to the person who posted it and their friends; but is hidden from everyone else.

If you don't want anyone else to see it, you need to delete it, not hide it. That's the difference between the two options.

OP; I'd delete the comment, and to be honest, probably change my posting settings so she no longer sees them.

If everyone knows her history with alcohol, they’ll be having a laugh at her.