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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Hot tub

112 replies

Chickenlicken468 · 09/08/2025 04:53

AIBU
My mum and husband bought a hot tub, knowing full well her only grandchild who is 18 months won’t be able to use it. He is obsessed with water and baths and I kno if he saw me in it he would desperately want to get in and would get upset because he can’t.
my cousin and her two kids are staying with them end of the month and the plan was for me and my son to go over as we only see them twice a year. They are 5 & 7 so will be going in the hot tub, a long with my cousin, mum and auntie I would assume. Obviously I’m not going to go in in front of him because it’s super unfair and I would feel awful the fact he’s missing out but he will still see the others go in and I dunno it just feels really mean and doesn’t sit right with me AIBU

OP posts:

PInkyStarfish · 09/08/2025 11:05

One of the most ridiculous things on Mumsnet for awhile!

There are a gazillion things that an 18 month old is not allowed to participate in and has to be told no if they express an interest. That’s part of life and growing up.

You can use the hot tub whilst another member of your family minds the child.

The world does not revolve around your child .

P.S I hate hot tubs but that’s a whole different story!

Slothsandspiderman · 09/08/2025 11:11

Take a paddling pool for your child.

YABU to expect everyone to cater to you.

Gemmawemma9 · 09/08/2025 11:16

Slothsandspiderman · 09/08/2025 11:11

Take a paddling pool for your child.

YABU to expect everyone to cater to you.

This is actually a great idea. You’re acting very entitled.

WalkDontWalk · 09/08/2025 11:26

A medic friend of mine once said, "If you were to get together a group of top-flight epidemiologists, engineers and bacterioliogists and asked them to design a really effective mechanism for the distribution of the e-coli virus, what they'd come up with is the domestic hot tub."

I wouldn't let a baby anywhere near one.

ChicaWowWow · 09/08/2025 11:38

Chickenlicken468 · 09/08/2025 05:35

@Spies so you’d be ok with your child getting upset because everyone’s in the hot tub except him?

Yes, it's ok for children to be told no. It's ok to have boundaries and for them not to be allowed some things, specially when they're not safe. It's ok for children to be upset, and it's our job to be there for them when they're upset. Our job isn't to avoid anything that could potentially make them upset at all times all their lives.

pontivex · 09/08/2025 12:13

DenizenOfAisleOfShame · 09/08/2025 09:30

I get where you’re coming from, OP.

My sister and brother-in-law have a big place with land. They enjoy archery and quad biking. Also my sister put in a home gym. She also loves cooking and does big family meals.

But my toddler can’t shoot arrows, drive a quad bike or use the gym. And I think it would be best if he wasn’t around naked flames and boiling water in the kitchen.

I’ve complained again and again about the way they spend their money and enjoy themselves without thinking of my wee one.

I’ve gone NC now because they’re excluding my little son. Well, to be fair, my whole family’s gone NC with me. Which just shows you how selfish they are.

ginasevern · 09/08/2025 13:32

Fucking bonkers.

Yabberwok · 09/08/2025 13:43

Can anyone explain why it's unsafe if someone is with the child? The op said that kids can't regulate their body temperature and so he could over heat...but it's not going to be like boiling a lobster hot...and what about bathing him, surely you use warm water and swimming baths are warm. Isn't most of him going to be out of the water and in fairness, like all kids and water he's going to be in and out all the time....I'm a bear of little brain and I don't get it

Viot · 09/08/2025 20:31

What I have got from this thread is that hot tubs are hotter than I realised. How hot are they? Like a too hot bath? Are they chlorinated?

BengalBangle · 09/08/2025 20:34

You're being absolutely fucking ridiculous.
Experience disappointment is very character building, so I'm sure your little prince will survive this non-event.

Clockchair · 09/08/2025 20:41

You're being bonkers expecting them not to get one just because of your kid.

Also I see no issue in lowering the temp and letting him have 10 minutes in there with you? 🤔

pontivex · 09/08/2025 20:44

Viot · 09/08/2025 20:31

What I have got from this thread is that hot tubs are hotter than I realised. How hot are they? Like a too hot bath? Are they chlorinated?

Ours goes up to 40c. So it’s 40 in winter and usually 35 in summer. I don’t know if any that go beyond 40c so like a warm bath really.

Yes chlorinated like a swimming pool. Ours uses a fancy salt chlorination system

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