Hot tub

[Chickenlicken468]

AIBU
My mum and husband bought a hot tub, knowing full well her only grandchild who is 18 months won’t be able to use it. He is obsessed with water and baths and I kno if he saw me in it he would desperately want to get in and would get upset because he can’t.
my cousin and her two kids are staying with them end of the month and the plan was for me and my son to go over as we only see them twice a year. They are 5 & 7 so will be going in the hot tub, a long with my cousin, mum and auntie I would assume. Obviously I’m not going to go in in front of him because it’s super unfair and I would feel awful the fact he’s missing out but he will still see the others go in and I dunno it just feels really mean and doesn’t sit right with me AIBU

Buy him a paddling pool with lots of pool toys to keep him entertained whilst you & others use the hot tub

I’m sure you have other ways for entertaining your 18 months old.

But don’t let everyone else including your husband not have fun. Alternatively your husband can look after the baby or maybe when baby is sleeping whilst you try the hot tub.

I think it's a bit of a stretch to assume that your mum would hold off from buying a hot tub because your child is too small to use it. There is a hot tub and you don't want him to use it so you have to think of how to manage that. People have given lots of suggestions. If he loves water go with the paddling pool idea and give him toys to play with in the paddling pool.

It's a hot tub by not going in the child has good taste and less germs

I'm with @Spies on this one. Life's not fair, deal with it. Other people shouldn't have to tiptoe around just because you can't deal with things or parent your child properly.

Could you explain to your DS that the hot tub is too hot for him and take a paddling pool he could play in?

So if they can't or won't lower the temperature so he can go in, you just bring alternative entertainment. You say "The hot tub is for bigger children, so we're going to do XYZ instead". No need to turn it into a big deal or a focal point.

Why can't they just turn it down a bit for him to go in it? Warm swimmimg pool temp is fine - max 35 degrees is ok for babies and toddlers.

Yabvu to expect the world to rotate around your little one. If he can't go in because he isn't old enough thats not a reason to stop other people

Its almost like your kid isn't the centre of the universe
Yabu 🙄

@Chickenlicken468 You are being entirely unreasonable. My in laws have a hot tub and often they all like to use it at family get together. My children are too young to go in so either my husband or I (usually both of us) stay out to look after our children.

I don’t understand why you don’t just play with your children and distract them from the thing they are not allowed to do. Maybe even a different child friendly water-play activity or a sprinkler or something.

I do like the argument though and might try with work...
Sorry can't possibly see that patient unless you let my toddler see them too!

Yabu. Not everything people do has to be centred around your son

The adults and your and the older kids there will no doubt enjoy the hot tub , but they should not have this experience because your son can't? In fact your parents should not own a hot tub for the next 4 years until your son can also enjoy it?

Distract your son whilst the hot tub is on. Maybe take a little blow up paddling pool abd some toys for him?

Bring a paddling pool for him…

Sometimes my child wants to drive the family car when we go to Sainsbury’s and he gets upset when I tell him he is not allowed. It is just part of raising a child and you have to navigate these emotions with them.

Turn the temperature down to 37 and let him go in it. What a huge over reaction on your part OP.

He's 18 months old they get upset at all sorts at that age
When my oldest was that age he got upset becsse wouldn't allow him to drink the wine i was drinking!

You can turn the temperature down on it, you know. 38 will be fine. Presumably you bathe him in warm water?

Yeah that's life.

You're kid won't be able to join in all things, all the time. You certainly shouldn't be teaching them that life should be tailored around their wants at the expense of everyone else's.

That's how entitlement starts. You'll be raising a spoilt kid with no resilience if you carry on like this.

Prepare your child for the road, not the road for your child.

I had my child in our hot tub from roughly 1. They were fine & thoroughly enjoyed it! Ask them to turn it down a few degrees (37c is like a bath) and wear arm bands & he’ll have a great time!

But a paddling pool for him . He’s a baby and won’t know the difference . He will just see water .

He’s 18 months you tell
him no. Ffs talk about pandering your kid will be a spoilt fucker take after his princess mum.’

I mean, you're probably right that when you visit your family you should stay out with your son because you'll need to supervise him and he might be annoyed if you go in there when he can't since he loves baths. But if you mean that your mum shouldnt have bought it then that's very unreasonable.

Surely parenting is about teaching your child that sometimes they can’t do what they want and how to accept that? Especially when it’s a safety issue. If you can’t handle an upset toddler that’s your problem not your parents fault.

You could plan ahead and ask your parents to turn it down low, say to 28 degrees, then get your child in a floatation vest, and get into the hot tub with them. Everyone is happy, all is safe.

I'm surprised at the number of posters who aren't aware of the potential dangers of hot tubs for children.
Personally I don't see the attraction of them and find the thought of them pretty unhygienic.
But I agree that if OP's DM wants to buy one and if the rest of the family want to use it then they have every right to go ahead.
I 'd just not bother going visiting if it revolved around using the hot tub. Let them.get on with it and find something more interesting to do with your child OP.