Taking a child scared of dogs into a dog friendly coffee shop

[KimberleyClark]

DH and went to a local dog friendly coffee shop this afternoon with our neighbour’s two dogs, a golden retriever and a terrier cross who are staying with us for a few days while their owner is away. At a nearby table there was a father with his little girl of five or six who was obviously very scared of the dogs, who are both sweet natured and were just minding their own business and not wandering about or anything. When we got up to leave the little girl ran away into a corner. I suppose he might have been trying to acclimatise her, but if he was he wasn’t going the right way about it, having a chat with us, asking the dogs’ names etc might have been better. AIBU to think that if you know your child is that scared of dogs,a dog friendly cafe is not the best place to take them?

I have/had both. Like mine, dislike other people's - moreso the kids than the dogs if I'm honest. I just go in or stay out of wherever and it's really no big deal.

There's no dog friendly eateries in the country I live and I think they're missing a trick. They don't even allow them on public transport.

Are there really that many in the UK?

I always wonder where mumsnet finds all these sex-mad doubly incontinent dogs.

Second shelf down, next to the yelling, screaming, snotty nose picking wipers being cooed over by sopping parents.

A lot of pubs and cafes. Less so restaurants. Some shops allow them in, especially garden centres. Tourist areas are often really dog friendly. It's fab

Well, that a grown-up comment.

I'm really sorry you have had that experience, I do wish people were a bit more empathetic.

As someone with dogs, cats and other farm animals i hate dog friendly cafes and restaurants. My husband has restaurants. We allow them in the garden only.

They dont need to be everywhere. Take your dog for a walk and go get your coffee/friend meet ups separately.

We humanise animals way too much!

Not everyone is an animal person, and should be made to have dogs around when eating.

I went to Costa recently and someone came in with 4 pugs. They had water bowls and within seconds they had knocked them over and the floor was soaking wet. The owners ig ordered it. Queue another customer nearly slipping as it wasn't carpeted.

Absolute nonsense

Thankfully not all cafe owners feel like you do.

For all the miseries on here insisting just about all eating places allow dogs I would love to know where you live and if, pretty unlikely, you all live close together. Some places near me allow dogs but by far the majority do not.

We love taking our dog out to cafes and restaurants with us. Dogs on the whole are so much better behaved than most children who seem to regard restaurants as playgrounds

I think the main problem with dogs/children is lack of control on the part of the owners/parents.

DD is very scared of dogs due to being jumped on by an overenthusiastic border collie. She also has autism. I have tried to calmly explain to her that not all dogs are like that and she used to actually quite like them. We were in a cafe the other day and a family came in with a dog and sat next to us. DD froze. The family were lovely and made sure the dog sat as far away from DD as possible. It was very well behaved and I emphasised this to DD. Hopefully the more dogs she sees like this the easier it will get.

Tolerance on both sides is needed but I think many dog owners don't control their animals properly and underestimate how scary it is for someone like DD.

Hilarious post. Possibly it is EXTREMELY hard to find a non dog friendly cafe where you live but I can assure you that is not the case across the country.

There are far less dog friendly cafes where I am than ones that allow dogs.

My dogs never did those things either. They also never ran around a restaurant or cafe making a nuisance of themselves and a possible danger for staff and customers carrying plates of food and hot drinks. Plenty of children do that while mummy and/or daddy ignore them.

They also don't shriek and scream at the top of their voices while I ignore them or smile at how amusing they are. Nor do they create a total mess of food and crumbs on the table and all over the floor like so many children do

I think it’s up to the dad as to how to deal with his child. I also think it’s good that kids are slightly cautious. I’m speaking as a dog owner and someone who had no idea when I was a kid - I would run up to any dog and pet them whether they were snarling or wagging. I was allowed to do what I wanted. I made sure when I had a child that they were not like I was around dogs.

Im actually at a dog friendly cafe now, there are four inside, I’m outside and mine is one of five. All dogs are very well behaved and just snoozing save for one who is barking constantly. It’s a bit annoying.

Two v polite kids have come up and asked if they can stroke mine. I said yes and we had a little chat about my dog and she was pleased to say hello to the kids (I would guess about ages 5 and 8?).

Why would you take your dogs to a coffee shop instead of a field where they can run, play and be free what do they get out of it or is it just for you and you just like the attention?

@HoskinsChoice i wasn’t trying to be argumentative- I was just saying unless you’ve actually looked for non dog places you wouldn’t know it was hard to find them. I think I was reasonably sympathetic to OP but just trying to explain. I live in Scotland maybe it is different here but pretty much everywhere takes dogs. I mentioned in my next post below it’s not a problem for us. Maybe it is all in the eye of the beholder and it depends on which side of the fence you are in.

Not that I really want to get into my parenting here but to answer she is on the CAHMS waitlist with potential autism so that may help when we eventually get to see someone and also I regularly dog sit my neighbours very gentle and calm dog so she can get used to him. She loves that dog now but just has a general fear of barking and overly hyper. She has sensory issues anyway and was knocked over a few times when younger by dogs running over and jumping on her on our local playing field. We don’t go out of our way to avoid dogs I was merely saying that where I live if you wanted to do that it would be hard.

😂 my mum had a golden. Beautiful girl that she was. The kids in the street would knock and ask if she could play out with them (obviously that was a no). One day she’d been mooching on the garden and can inside with an alarming looking face. When my mum went out the kids from down the street explained they’re been painting her face. She’d sat and let them through the garden gate and had a massive smile on her face. She was such a nice natured calm dog.

I’m sorry to hear about your son, and the dog shouldn’t have been off leash at a graveyard - it’s disrespectful.

Not all dog owners are the same, and I’m sorry for your daughter’s experience.

If you’re addressing me, mine has had a two hour walk early this morning, and then we went to the park on the way here where we had ball/play time for another hour, I fancied a coffee and cake break, and she’s tired and calm so what’s the issue with bringing her with me?

It’s not a case of being selfish - she’s had a lovely day so far (as she does every day). I didn’t get a dog to leave her at home all day. It adds an additional layer of happiness to my life so I make sure I thank her by giving her a full and happy life too.

This reminds me of an older woman a few doors down who has one of those 'Dogs welcome, people tolerated' signs on her door. She does however manage to tolerate the people who keep her alive by dropping off her prescriptions, delivering her shopping and sorting out her numerous medical needs, presumably because her terriers have sadly yet to master those skills.

We took them for a walk first.

Why not do both? Our dog gets a long walk at least twice a day, usually three times, to the park, or the woods, or along the canal. He goes at least twice a week to a dog field where he can run around.

We also try and take him to as many places as we can with us. He is a rescue and is coming to terms with living with us after being with his previous owners for just short of 5 years from when he was 9 weeks old. No way are we going to keep leaving him at home alone.

His previous owners got him during lockdown and he was never socialised very well. We take him to cafes, restaurants, pubs, shops etc. He is always quiet and well behaved

Maybe …… people do both?

Dog walk with coffee shop
at the end? I doubt it’s and either or situation, it’s not for us.

She sounds so lovely. My boy is 13 months so we’re in the velociraptor stage which is brutal! Still he’s lovely when he’s out and I definitely take him to pubs and restaurants that are dog friendly and he likes to watch everyone and all the other dogs. He loves attention as well but is being trained to not go looking for it. We’re mostly there now. I’m constantly being told how gorgeous he is when we’re out and he does pose so nicely 🤣. I’d love to go to one of those cafes but sadly there isn’t one in my little part of Devon.

I like the way that England is now more accepting of dogs. Mine is a barker so I don't take him to dog friendly places as I appreciate it's annoying for other customers and it is stressful for me. My partner's schnauzer is perfectly behaved everywhere so we do take him to cafes, pubs, restaurants as he just sits quietly, or sleeps.
I used to live in London and most eating places are not dog friendly; now I live by the seaside, everywhere seems to allow dogs.
My sister lives in London but has a second home in Cornwall and when they're there, they take their English bulldog everywhere. He sleeps mostly.
Previously they had a douge de Bordeaux who was huge. They still took her everywhere when in Cornwall. She was 10stone and was probably frightening looking but was a complete softy.

Who said they went instead of a run?