Taking a child scared of dogs into a dog friendly coffee shop

[KimberleyClark]

DH and went to a local dog friendly coffee shop this afternoon with our neighbour’s two dogs, a golden retriever and a terrier cross who are staying with us for a few days while their owner is away. At a nearby table there was a father with his little girl of five or six who was obviously very scared of the dogs, who are both sweet natured and were just minding their own business and not wandering about or anything. When we got up to leave the little girl ran away into a corner. I suppose he might have been trying to acclimatise her, but if he was he wasn’t going the right way about it, having a chat with us, asking the dogs’ names etc might have been better. AIBU to think that if you know your child is that scared of dogs,a dog friendly cafe is not the best place to take them?

But if one is advertised as dog friendly, surely you wouldn’t take a child with a fear of dogs in?

I’m not anti-dog. And it’s not just me fed up of dogs everywhere, loads of people are - I hear in it in RL and on here, older people, child free people and parents ❤️ HTH

Completely agree. They do not take priority over humans !!

In what way is me bringing my dog into a dog friendly cafe, tying her under the table and enjoying a coffee taking precedence over people? She's not jumping the queue and demanding a complex mixed latte with oat milk that will delay your enjoyment of a cuppa and cake.

@Minecroft a soul dog is a phrase dog people use to describe the dog they had which was somehow more special than other dogs they had - I’ve haven’t heard anyone use it in real life yet, thankfully

Loads of examples on this thread already

Loads of examples of entitled posters thinking they can ban me from a place I'm completely within my rights to be in. You've got that right. Fume away. I'll be happy sipping my drink with my pup at my feet.

At least the dogs on the local beach are mostly on leads at this time of year (they are supposed to be but not all of them are). Dogs on beaches bounding up to my children, trying to steal our picnics etc while the owner shouts “don’t worry he’s friendly” are probably even more annoying than the cafe ones!

I’m not fuming! I love all animals ☺️ just think things have gone to far with dogs absolutely everywhere

Well, I don’t know about other goldie owners on here, but I’m now planning on taking mine to even more cafes, pubs and restaurants after reading that madness. My favourite pub has a golden that lives there and spends the day lying on his back in the middle of the bar getting tummy rubs from everyone. My boy aspires to be him 🤣

i've had 4 dogs, and not one has EVER toileted indoors or shagged anyones legs.

OP.. i will ignore the stupidity and strawman arguments on the thread.

Yes it is odd for a parent to bring a dog phobic child into a publicly Dog Friendly Cafe who's entire ethos is to welcome Dogs into its establishment.

I don’t think I agree - when I was a kid we had a dog, and lots of my friends did too. Parents all worked FT and it was the norm to leave the dog at home all day for over 8 hours alone. I think people have more awareness now that dogs are social. And this would be cruel.

Ours is fine to be left for up to four hours but I’d prefer it if she wasn’t alone, because I didn’t get her to leave her at home. So I tend to plan my days around dog friendly places. On purpose.

Of course there’s places she can’t go - supermarkets or shopping centres - so I make sure I am as quick as possible when I go to those. But if I need plants I choose a dog friendly place. And as she’s been going since she was a puppy she’s nicely socialised and behaves well.

It can be an issue for older dogs from rescues, I think, who weren’t socialised well when a puppy.

That young dachshund at the coffee shop yesterday was very noisy and constantly barking and it was irritating. The owners were trying to socialise it but it wasn’t the ideal setting. Thankfully they left after fifteen minutes.

Of course there are miserable people that are anti-dog. Nobody is arguing otherwise. Ask yourself this... if people who dislike dogs in cafés outweigh the number of people who don't dislike dogs in cafés, why are so many cafés dog friendly? It doesn't take a rocket scientist to work out that you're in the minority so my point stands. You and the others in your minority group are not more important than those in the majority. HTH

I've got 3 dogs
I love them like my children
But I appreciate that other people do not want them mooching around whilst they eat or drink. I also appreciate the fact that other people are scared of them. I never let my dogs approach anyone when we are out, and I am particularly aware that one bad incident can scare a child for life.
Sadly, it's the same with some irresponsible dog owners as it is with some parents.
They let their charge run riot, have no discipline and ruin the experience of a nice day out for everyone.

I’ve been to one of those coffee shops and wouldnt have said anything in my experience specifically indicated it was aimed at dog owners. I can’t remember seeing treats but generally a coffee shop till is quite busy with various bits to buy.

I’d imagine he took her to a coffee shop as he fancied one when out. It’s not like he took her to “dogs r us” coffee shop. So many places are dog friendly now it may have been hard for him to find anywhere without dogs. I have 2 myself so not anti dog at all.

Also my dd is 4 and fine with our 2 big dogs but has encountered a very large enthusiastic puppy before so can be very wary of dogs when out but it’s hard to predict which she will be anxious of.

@Mauvehoodie they literally make their own dog biscuits they sell to raise money for guide dogs... https://coffilab.co.uk/guide-dogs/

It’s called Coffi Lab, its logo is a Lab, there’s a sign on the door “Don’t leave your best friend at home”, water bowls dotted around, pictures of dogs on the walls - and you couldn’t see anything suggesting it was specifically catering to dog owners?

It was a while ago now, I went to the one in Marlborough. It was very busy and I didn’t especially notice anything, no 🤷🏻‍♀️. Just saying maybe the dad didn’t either. I can’t remember what the logo was.

eta the logo is a bit of an ambiguous squiggle and I thought it was “lab” as in laboratory that makes scientifically good coffee 🤣. I do remember the coffee being amazing.

Thank you for controlling your dogs! We were on a lovely walk today. 4 uncontrolled dogs growled and barked at us (the largest one definitely baring teeth), frightening my daughter particularly. She had a series of bad experiences when she was a toddler and has never recovered. We had to stand right back in the undergrowth to let them pass The owners didn't do much, except in the end pulling them away from us , offering a half hearted apology and told us 'don't worry they're harmless'.

We’ve got a Coffi Lab. It’s literally got dogs in the name and logo. Which makes me think perhaps he’s taken her there just to be near dogs, with no expectation of anything else. This is the kind of activity I undertake with my ASD kid. Low demand, short straightforward experiences that are very much considered and planned to keep her within her comfort zone.

So your original question seems to be that you think he was doing the wrong thing by not asking to interact with your dogs. He didn’t actually say anything to you? Or give any indication he was displeased about you being there with a dog. Just simply that the child and father did not ask the dogs name? YABVU about that. Why the hell do you think he should have done? Weird attitude.

No. I was asking whether it was the right thing to bring the child into the cafe in the first place.

I think that dogs (except guide dogs) shouldn't be in cafes. Cafes are for people.

People who run cares have the right to run their business as they see fit, appealing to the demographic they want to. Right now being dog friendly seems to be a good business model.

Well they are allowed in this one