To not know how on earth I can go back to work?

[SoftAsShit]

I left my WFH job last year due to stress of childcare and I now work 10 hours a week around school times so it works well.. but I’m A) bored when I’m not working and B) money is so tight I’m unhappy and I just want to work more.

My current job doesn’t have the opportunity to work any more hours and I have no formal qualifications (except dental nursing but I would never go back into that job)

The thing is, I live in a remote area, salaries are low, jobs are sparse and I suffer with chronic anxiety so I’m a little bit picky (wouldn’t be able to do bar work/waitressing) ideally I’d like a desk job, don’t mind working with the public I just don’t want to be serving.. don’t ask why, it’s just a me thing.

and I absolutely cannot afford childcare during holidays. I could barely afford it when I was WFH and had to have them home some of the by time but the stress was too much and I ended up having a bit of a breakdown.
So I just don’t know how I can get back into work, to earn more money for the family.. whatever job I take up will mean having to arrange childcare before/after school and during holidays. I just can’t afford it.

How do people do it 😞

For reference, we aren’t entitled to any benefits, have a mortgage and some small debts that are being managed.

From my employment advisor days over 5 years ago the TA jobs were always in strong demand and increasingly schools can be selective and though not a legal requirement usually want minimum 4 GCSEs inc min C grade Eng/Maths. But many also increasingly demand a Teaching/Learning or Childcare formal qualification unless there is extensive experience already gained in this environment.

ewww why would you want to deal with the people that want botox/fillers? Also they are supposed to be regulating this area.

Are you on the Work from Home Hub - UK on Facebook. They are posting dozens of WFH jobs all the time. You need to check it frequently and apply immediately if you see something because it’s a popular group and vacancies close early when they’ve received the pre requisite number of applications.

Why is it pointless? Your mental health and wellbeing are as important if not more important than just earning more.

And it's not forever. If your kids are little, then I'd honestly rethink the idea of moving house to a less rural area. I know you're not keen but everything you say suggests your not willing to go even one step out of your comfort zone. That would be fine if you were happy, but you're not.

I was born and raised here, wasn’t exactly a choice. I’ve just never moved 🤣

Exactly. At my school, a PGCE is also preferable, due to the amount of teacher cover required ( but paid at TA wage!) Or apprenticeships are sometimes offered.

You are right, I am deeply set in my comfort zone. My mental health is exactly why I’m in this position. What I don’t want to do is just ‘suck it up’ as some have suggested because the last time I tried doing that I was suicidal. I want more money for our family, I don’t want to hit rock bottom again doing it. I know I can’t get the best of both. I’m just stuck between a rock and a hard place.

OP, the UK is a land of opportunities. Whether it be study, work, training etc. There’s something for everyone. You need focus on what you “ can”
do and not “ mull it over” too much. You are never going to hit perfection, but you can get out of the boredom/ low paid rut if you try. Even the most menial jobs can lead to something better . Do you have any hospitals or universities/ colleges near you? A major employment source!

Sounds like she wants to get paid for looking after her kids

I really think you need to look at moving.

living totally is tough all round. Less job opportunities, less socialising, smaller world and so on.

Move, your husband can be closer to work so not travelling as much and able to do more drop offs and pick ups. You can have options for more jobs etc and you can socialise and get out more at toddler groups.

Your world sounds small and no wonder you’ve suffered with your mental health.

If you break it down into chunks, how many days out of the working year do you need childcare for? You say you’ve family nearby; can someone step in if a child is sick? You need structure, plan a, plan b. Get out the calendar and say, right from 1 st September, how many hours are available to me even if it means leaning on other people and paying occasional childcare?

I work as a clerk to governors as a top up wage. Its mainly home based but I do have to travel to the schools for meeting. These range from 6 a year at some schools to 15 a year at others. So contracts range from 3 hours a week to 15.

The meetings tend to be evenings, so I hand our sen dc over to dh and head off.

It might top up your wage. No idea if you live in England tho. It might exit as a role in other bits of the uk, but I dont know thuer education systems.

How about a job in a nursery that also acts as wraparound care in the holidays/around school times. They are calling out for staff and usually offer some sort of staff discount if you bring your kids to the same setting.

Just asked Google to find me a remote working flexible hours job and this popped up... dont know anything about them tbh. remoticoz.online/#about

Also look at Amazon or BT. There def are jobs but they are sought after. Good luck @SoftAsShit

Funnily enough, i do have one of these pie in the sky jobs, working from home freelance as a news editor, in school hours, and I can walk mt two youngest to school 5 minutes away.

And I was offered my job two weeks after I put open to work on LinkedIn after I was starting back in September last year, and a former boss offered me the job.

Yep. That's pretty jammy. It's not a stealth boast at all, I know that I am EXTREMELY lucky and very aware of just how much I have a rare job that ticks lots of boxes!

This isn’t a very helpful post from me - but as a single mum I just had to suck it up. Yes I had days when I was sick with worry about the work decisions I had to make or sad I had to leave my DD who was a baby when I went back. But I had no choice so I just put one foot in front of the other and got on with it.
often feels better once you do just do it.

Oh and OP, my mental health has been terrible over the past decade.

As a little encouragement for you, here's my tale of woe - a decade ago, I had a very bad concussion, post concussion syndrome, then a terrible mental breakdown. I was given lots of psychotropic drugs to help me, but one was an off label antipsychotic that harmed me and I had an adverse reaction to its side effects, then ended up with a permanent neurological involuntary movement disorder called tardive dyskinesia. This is a bit like Tourette's and Parkinson's disease combined.

I've lived with this horrible condition for a decade and it's been hell at times, and pretty devastating. I got through a lot of tough times, watched my DB die from bowel cancer, and genuinely felt terrible at times but needed to keep going for my children.

I never gave up, and am now back at work in spite of having yet another recent concussion which was pretty awful, but not as severe as the first. My writing skills have been affected by my head injuries but I'm here now, giving you hope, saying if I can get through all that crap, you can be ok too. Believe in yourself. Things are going to be hard but you will be fine.

Honestly OP if you are so limited in work due to your anxiety I’d probably look at applying for disability benefits. I appreciate that is no easy task but if successful it may give you the support needed while you work on your mental health with your GP/therpist’s help.

How about working in a school kitchen @SoftAsShit ? It’s term time only, can be as much as 30 hours a week and every holiday off, the perfect job to work around children. Generally you don’t need any qualifications, you can train while working and reliability is more important.

So many people have suggested so many ideas here !!

BUT OP is NOT receptive -

note that OP gives a reason why NONE of the suggestions are suitable - NONE !!

OP says she wants more money but is saying she cannot take on anything because she is waiting for therapy for anxiety and the last time she tried to push out of her comfort zone she was suicidal-

OP is stuck in a rut and not seeking work

OP, I’m guessing that you don’t actually want to work and this post is a means for you to say “I’m spending soooo much time trying to find a way to earn more”.

Plenty of perfectly good suggestions here, and you have an excuse to opt out of every single one of them.

Seriously OP I do hope this thread gives you some ideas - and if none really work because of where you live, I do think you might have to think again about location - especially if you aren’t even benefitting from family child care help -

Loads of great suggestions for the op here but nall being knocked back. Reels of 'i want more money but I'm not prepared to work for it or change any of my life to accommodate it.' It's really insulting to all the parents who do make the sacrifices to provide for their families.

Yeah not my experience at all so

Yes I know it’s not fair to compare, but OP is so much luckier than the many many single mums out there.

My father died when I was two and my mum was 8 months pregnant with my brother. He died leaving A LOT of debt as he just tried starting up a business. My mum had no support at all, this was in the 80’s so mental health issues like anxiety were not really recognised or supported in my country (and state benefits were not a thing). She had to work to keep a roof over our heads, make sure we were fed while she sometimes went without. Looking back as an adult I’m in awe at her strength. She was definitely depressed and overwhelmed. A few years ago we were having quite an emotional talk, she admitted at times she didn’t want to keep going, didn't know how she she did it, but she knew she had to for us.