To not know how on earth I can go back to work?

[SoftAsShit]

I left my WFH job last year due to stress of childcare and I now work 10 hours a week around school times so it works well.. but I’m A) bored when I’m not working and B) money is so tight I’m unhappy and I just want to work more.

My current job doesn’t have the opportunity to work any more hours and I have no formal qualifications (except dental nursing but I would never go back into that job)

The thing is, I live in a remote area, salaries are low, jobs are sparse and I suffer with chronic anxiety so I’m a little bit picky (wouldn’t be able to do bar work/waitressing) ideally I’d like a desk job, don’t mind working with the public I just don’t want to be serving.. don’t ask why, it’s just a me thing.

and I absolutely cannot afford childcare during holidays. I could barely afford it when I was WFH and had to have them home some of the by time but the stress was too much and I ended up having a bit of a breakdown.
So I just don’t know how I can get back into work, to earn more money for the family.. whatever job I take up will mean having to arrange childcare before/after school and during holidays. I just can’t afford it.

How do people do it 😞

For reference, we aren’t entitled to any benefits, have a mortgage and some small debts that are being managed.

Jobs vary so much op and you may be able to find one in which you can WFH and not have much to do and look after your children at the same time, and manage to do the school runs too.

3 of my friends are able to do the above fairly easily - 1 in the charity sector, 1 in a creative field and the other in marketing. One of these friends even manages to take her children for whole days out and just checks her emails occasionally and sometimes replies to them.

My job is hybrid and unfortunately due to it being a demanding role, I am not able to look after my children while working, nor can I go offline to pick up my children.

I think you either have to deal with the anxiety and take a job you don’t really want, or accept that you’ll be poor until your kids get a little older and don’t need holiday childcare.
If you’re bored when you’re not working could you do CBT or something to try to overcome your anxiety? Or look for other remote jobs?

I have a couple of friends in this situation, they work it by working nights and weekends, it also means they don’t have a need for childcare at all which saves a lot of money.

I think you do need some flexibility. It’s hard to know how much is ‘I can’t’ and how much is ‘I don’t want to’ (sorry if that sounds harsh.) I do sympathise as I currently work two days a week and the money is rubbish compared to what I’d get if I was three days but it’s just what works at the moment.

OP, I’ve only read your posts.

You need to suck it up and move. You’re too far away from your husband’s work, and you’d find better job opportunities in a larger town/city. Start hunting close to where your husband is, and then get looking to move.

You say you live near family. Can they help out?
Could you do remote working?
Cleaning?

Some local councils offer job clubs and help with CVs. You could drop off your new CV at local businesses. There are lots of small rural units, small businesses. You probably drive past a few.

It might be better doing courses and getting qualifications over the next year.

Second job in the evenings - cleaning or caring.

Does the school have an after school club? Keep eye out for jobs there?

A TA job at school I'm at is a very tough number, with stress, poor pay and high expectations.
It is not an easy option...not in my school anyhow!

Yes I’d earn money to pay for childcare. But after putting two children into childcare that’s going to cost more than I’d even earn? It’s pointless at that point. 😞

After school club looks ok though...
Run by external organisation.

If you work in a school local to you, there must be a need for childcare for current pupils in the holidays? Could you set up some sort of holiday club targeted at the school you work in?

The thing is, I live in a remote area, salaries are low, jobs are sparse and I suffer with chronic anxiety so I’m a little bit picky (wouldn’t be able to do bar work/waitressing) ideally I’d like a desk job, don’t mind working with the public I just don’t want to be serving.. don’t ask why, it’s just a me thing.

And you want term time only? Have you got a pet unicorn?

You’ve boxed yourself into a corner there. Which thing can you change to improve your opportunities? Can you study while you work so few hours now?

No, you’re the one with the pet unicorn!

I have just suggested an evening job, where you wouldn't need childcare?

That is not an easy option - particularly if you're anxious already! I did the initial interview and assessment and failed - despite having good typing skills and 15 years experience as a staff nurse

In your situation when I had four children and was married I worked evenings and nights around my then husband youl have to do the same probably

If you aren't able to receive any benefits than household income must be great

I also worked evenings and weekends when my children were small. Then moved onto a nightshift job when I was made redundant suddenly and had to find something asap. That way we had no need for childcare at all. Nightshift pay was a little extra which helped and I could sleep in the day while kids were at school

What about twilight hours in a Supermarket, 8pm to midnight or 2am?

It sounds like you’re a lunchtime supervisor? One option is volunteering at the school to get a better opportunity for any TA jobs that come up. Won’t solve the money side but you wouldn’t be as bored.

I think a huge part of the problem is living rurally with a DH who works long hours. And there seems to be no questioning of his right to work these long hours with no restrictions due to childcare.

Using your salary to pay for childcare only makes no sense too.

It feels like exactly the set up where all money needs to go into a central pot and be allocated from there. Necessary where one person’s earning capacity is so reduced by agreed circumstances.

Then you can stop looking at your own job options in terms of whether you alone can pay childcare expenses for them. Can your DH ever work from home?

Are you able to access any help for you anxiety so that this ceases to be such an impediment to so many jobs? Rather than just accepting it as a given.

I feel like you need to look at removing some of these obstacles rather than trying to work around them all.

But it's only going to cost more for holiday care for the 3-4 weeks a year you can't cover with annual leave. For the rest of the year you'll be quids in. I'm assuming your children are school age and you're not paying for nursery, if you are that's a different story.

Exactly. Sorry but you are trying to have your cake and eat it.

Could you look at jobs within a school setting?
How about evening or weekend work?
its not ideal, but lots of families do this.