To not know how on earth I can go back to work?

[SoftAsShit]

I left my WFH job last year due to stress of childcare and I now work 10 hours a week around school times so it works well.. but I’m A) bored when I’m not working and B) money is so tight I’m unhappy and I just want to work more.

My current job doesn’t have the opportunity to work any more hours and I have no formal qualifications (except dental nursing but I would never go back into that job)

The thing is, I live in a remote area, salaries are low, jobs are sparse and I suffer with chronic anxiety so I’m a little bit picky (wouldn’t be able to do bar work/waitressing) ideally I’d like a desk job, don’t mind working with the public I just don’t want to be serving.. don’t ask why, it’s just a me thing.

and I absolutely cannot afford childcare during holidays. I could barely afford it when I was WFH and had to have them home some of the by time but the stress was too much and I ended up having a bit of a breakdown.
So I just don’t know how I can get back into work, to earn more money for the family.. whatever job I take up will mean having to arrange childcare before/after school and during holidays. I just can’t afford it.

How do people do it 😞

For reference, we aren’t entitled to any benefits, have a mortgage and some small debts that are being managed.

Look at remote admin jobs.

Look at clerking- school governors and parish councils need minute takers for meetings. Look at all the little jobs that you can do round the edges. EBay selling, maybe.

A hobby that you can sell- not to make a profit but to cover your costs- would help the boredom.

Weekend work, evening work.

It’s hard but sadly most working families have to work out what is best for them in their own situations.

we both work FT. I do school drop off, use a childminder who charges £10 per child per day for pick ups. Using tax free childcare that makes it £16 a day - so about an hours wage.

then the holidays (30 hours doesn’t apply when they’re school age @Thisismyusername54321 )
we take a week together at Xmas, and a week together in summer. That leaves 8 weeks of annual leave between us to cover 11 school holiday weeks. We often take 1-2 days a week each and then a holiday club 1-2 days a week and mother in law will sometimes have them 1 day. Rather than taking chunks of time off. Holiday clubs here are around £40 per child per day, so if we can manage 10 days a year of holiday club that’s £800 over the year which we have a savings pot towards and put into every even when it’s not required - it saves that bill being huge in August and none existent in June and September for example.

Are they school going age op. Bit easier when kids older. My neighbour childminds its great as home with her own too. Hard when they young and school holidays long

There’s not really many WFH roles. Most depts are at least 60% in office.

Your answers are very defeatist, can't do this or that for this reason. So what do you want? People manage by planning and making decisions around where to work, live, and how many children to have to try and mitigate situations like yours happening.

This. You need to look at what you can do, not what you can't. Are you sure you really want to work?

@party4you they advertise like that but I've been in years and most people might go in twice a month if that! Especially in the national teams.
I'm contractually based WFH though and have been since 2019.

I'm public sector and we go in twice per week. Some people a lot less ......

Use tax free childcare, work when hubby is home to look after kids.

I’d look into being a school holidays only childminder because I’d imagine that there is very little availability rurally.

The other possibility is some sort of internet based business and sacrificing time after the kids have gone to bed or a couple of hours at lunch time sort of thing

Otherwise I’d look into studying when the kids are at school or your h is available - even if it means giving up a weekend day with the family. It will cost money short term but if it translates to higher earning potential then you’ll be able to pay it back.

I personally think that you’re mad to live rurally when your job requirements are so rigid and you’re not getting the childcare benefits of living near family. You should have picked a location where the sort of job you need is available and minimise your h’s commute too so he can do childcare too.

Were you looking for people to say that there’s no way for you to work? It sounds like you decided that work should be the compromise.

I was home stay for 8 years. Just volunteered, then started on 12, 36 to back to 25 h

Um, isn't this what we all do?

Bear in mind when you do cushy 10h you got time to have a hobby, walk, coffee, charity shop browse, dog walking. When you do more, all you do is home and work !!!

You seem to throw up objections to everything that people suggest. What do you think you want to do? Sit tight until the kids are older?

It's not just you paying for childcare though, it's a split cost (even if the number for the cost is the same number that you earn).

Best suggestion is night care work. Bank more hours when your husband is doing childcare or pay for childcare the next day to catch up on sleep as the hourly salary will be worth it on nights.

I honestly have no idea what I want to do. I know I’m brushing off all options but I’m really too anxious to do most of what’s being suggested.

I’m not much of a confident driver - deliveries out of the window.

Evening/night work - could work but I’m unsure what’s around here that needs it other than bar work which I won’t do.

I know I’m looking for something pretty much impossible but I’m sick of being so tight for money; but I know if I work outside of school hours the money I earn gets spent on childcare and just makes it pointless.

I used to have the unicorn job, working from home, easy going, great employers who were really flexible and didn’t care if I had the kids home. But the latter was almost the issue, I felt like I was still expected to work with the kids home and I ended up being just too overwhelmed and had a breakdown.

kids are nursery age and first year of school for someone who asked.

I am on the wait list for CBT for my anxiety. They said I need high intensity and the wait list is 17 weeks at the moment.

I know it will be easier when they’re older, but it’s just shit right now 😞

'But the latter was almost the issue, I felt like I was still expected to work with the kids home and I ended up being just too overwhelmed and had a breakdown.'

I hear your fears and your anxiety - they are clear. I truly hope you can find the therapy you need to work through this and get evening work in a bar etc so you don't have to pay for childcare and can earn extra money to ease things. But this sentence is the issue. OF COURSE you were expected to work!

Grrr this makes me so cross - there is no unicorn job where you get paid to NOT work but to just look after your kids. And if you have your (young) kids at home while you are supposed to be working you are, by definition, not working. Anyone who says they can just quickly check emails here and there - except in very unusual situations - will soon find themselves out of a job....

Can you say roughly where you live @SoftAsShit?

Part time retail work? Surely there is some kind of shop within reasonable distance? Could take on temp contracts during term time and leave when it’s the hols? Our Co Op is always looking for staff so could do an evening shift when DH with kids (evening shifts are something like 7-11pm). Supermarket restocking or merchandising clothing, big box retailer if any nearby like an M&S, Next, B&Q?

Could you not take on a remote job again and pay a local teenager to look after the kids for some of the holidays? Combining it with annual leave split between you and your husband

Im not sure what you expected from a work at home job. You would obviously have to… work… regardless of your childcare situation. Why would you expect otherwise?

If you don’t want anything to change then you aren’t in a position to work more than you do. Focus on the other side and see if you can cut costs somewhere. You either need to change something and earn more or change something and spend less and it doesn’t sound like you’re interested in working.

Babysitting - I just saw an advertisement for someone on our local FB group offering after school babysitting/childcare. Weekend childcare / babysitting? Most mums would prefer someone with their own kids to babysit than a teen?

Use this time that you have to drive. I really don’t understand the “I’m not a confident driver” thing. Nobody is a confident driver until they practice and gain experience.

Would you expect to be a confident piano player with a handful of lessons? Of course not. Driving is a skill that needs to be practiced.

Earning money to be spent on childcare is not pointless (OMG I wish I could shout this from the rooftops!). You’d be gaining skills, work history, resume/CV content, work contacts, self confidence, potentially pension credits (I’m in a different country so am only surface level familiar with your retirement setups), and a whole host of other things.

Several people have mentioned child minder.
Let me tell you about that. I wanted to do paid work outside the home and could not find child care. So, looked into childminding.

I worked the hours I wanted, the days I wanted. As a single parent I offered weekends(double time) Bank Holidays, Ad-Hoc days(double time, think long wedding days) school term, school holidays.
I earned enough to come off benefits and pay tax(simple online form).
It worked for me for 7 years until my little one finished primary school.

It started with a phone call to my local council to find out when their training days were. Did that(think child based first aid, policies etc). Got funding for fire blanket and stair gate. Claimed toy storage on expenses(generous tax break) Bought discounted robust insurance, contracts and a register through NCMA.

I can't drive. Parents drop off their dc, pick up their dc and pay your higher charge(you provide meals) or lower charge(they provide packed lunches etc)
The only thing in the house that takes a beating is your carpet! Soooo many spilled drinks....pay for carpet cleaner twice a year and claim expenses from the tax.
It is a job that adapts to whatever situation you are in. And don't undercharge!!

Ask on your local Facebook page if anyone needs errands running, cleaning etc during school hours.

or look at supply care agencies. I should imagine there is plenty of opportunity there.

Why didn't you put your DC into childcare when you were WFH, rather than getting to the point of having a breakdown? Could you go back to that job and use a childminder?