To not know how on earth I can go back to work?

[SoftAsShit]

I left my WFH job last year due to stress of childcare and I now work 10 hours a week around school times so it works well.. but I’m A) bored when I’m not working and B) money is so tight I’m unhappy and I just want to work more.

My current job doesn’t have the opportunity to work any more hours and I have no formal qualifications (except dental nursing but I would never go back into that job)

The thing is, I live in a remote area, salaries are low, jobs are sparse and I suffer with chronic anxiety so I’m a little bit picky (wouldn’t be able to do bar work/waitressing) ideally I’d like a desk job, don’t mind working with the public I just don’t want to be serving.. don’t ask why, it’s just a me thing.

and I absolutely cannot afford childcare during holidays. I could barely afford it when I was WFH and had to have them home some of the by time but the stress was too much and I ended up having a bit of a breakdown.
So I just don’t know how I can get back into work, to earn more money for the family.. whatever job I take up will mean having to arrange childcare before/after school and during holidays. I just can’t afford it.

How do people do it 😞

For reference, we aren’t entitled to any benefits, have a mortgage and some small debts that are being managed.

If you are working more hours won’t you then be entitled to help with childcare via Universal Credit?

I work part time in one job and also work as a clerk/governance professional. It’s not huge amounts of money but an additional £500 or so a month I mainly do it in the evening. I have a contract for 8 hours a week. PM if you would like more info

Any civil service jobs in ur area or that offer work from home? U can ask for term time working only. Some civil service jobs offer evening work hours too.

If you don’t mind a public facing job but want a desk job, would you consider working for a call centre? A lot of jobs are often remote these days and sometimes they include evening work depending on the role.

You could be a cleaner and work school hours. Or ask your local school if they are any vacancies for dinner ladies. Or take in ironing as a last resort.

Working 10 hours a week is not 'working around school time'.

If you're only working 2hrs/day are you able to study/train during the day?

What extra qualifications would you need in order to be able to apply for an admin role in a school for example? Some admin roles at the council can be term time only (round here at least. Although I'm not sure how many people are actually given this)

What about a part-time WFH job that's maybe only 15 hrs/week, and you might have to do some of it in the evenings during school holidays (but maybe you could get some hours in over the weekend?)

Maybe work on your anxiety so that you can spread your wings and do a 'normal' job

How do people do it

I waited until the kids were older. We lived frugally for many years. At the beginning of working FT, my childcare day rate (for 3) costed more than my day rate for work during school holidays but I kept going for a while eventually got promotions + more money.

8 years on, all my earning going into uni fund!

You mentioned your family lives close by, can they not help with childcare?! If they can’t then
I think your best bet is improving your qualifications so that when you go back to work, you earn more. Unfortunately in this country the cost of childcare is insane and unless you earn enough sometimes it is pointless working except to keep yourself occupied intellectually and ensure your cv doesn’t have a gap.

All the civil servants I know (including DH) have to do 40/60% split of home and office. This includes people on term time

Why don’t you work on your mental health if possible and try to increase your resilience so that you have more options?

You could ask the local estate agents if they want anyone for weekend working. My son did this for a while. He just answered the phone and other admin or showed people round the houses. he also filled in sometimes when staff were ill.

Evening/night work - could work but I’m unsure what’s around here that needs it other than bar work which I won’t do.

,,,so you haven’t even looked at what’s available?

They will often advertise jobs nationally. Therefore u would choose the office u attend etc and some will offer work from home for certain jobs.

Can you move closer to your husbands work so he isn't commuting so long? I know it sounds drastic but it makes such a difference. If its less rural its more opportunities for you too.

You are not happy with circumstances as they are currently

so you either make some changes or you continue to be unhappy with how things are

you’ve got 17 weeks waiting for your therapy for anxiety to start but u can make a start in the meantime,

start driving more frequently
go places that make u anxious
start that graded exposure
avoiding won’t make anything better
and when u start therapy that is exactly what they will be asking u to do !!
if that’s too hard, talk to GP about medication for your anxiety
your recovery is your responsibility

then re visit all the very good ideas that have been listed here and then write a plan of what you CAN do rather than all the things you do t want to do -

That’s not always the case. Some CS jobs work on a hub basis and on your in office days you have to go into a central hub rather than the site nearest to you.100%WFH jobs in CS are very very rare.

Sorry should have also said that I am also in the civil service and things like pay grades, working arrangements are not universal they vary from department to department including leave allowance, flexible working arrangements.

There are lots of call centre/admin jobs working from home. Some of them allow you to be part time. You could look for these kinds of jobs and work while the kids are in school.

I think you probably need to work on your MH first because otherwise you are limiting yourself so much unfortunately.

If you are WFH, you are paid to do just that, not look after your children, surely? Anyone would find that scenario stressful I’m sure.

Hope you find something, you’ve had a ton of great suggestions.

Do you actually see the income and Outgoings for the household? It rings alarm bells for financial abuse. All the childcare is on you to pay for and arrange because their dad covers all the other bills, he apparently has nothing left but you wouldn't even qualify for some help towards childcare. So your kept at home doing all the childcare with no money and no prospects whilst he carries on as normal.
If you set up a joint account and pool your income you may not feel like childcare costs are such a burden as they would be shared rather than all coming from your money.

Good points made here.

Why is the financing of the childcare on you only OP?

If you set up a joint account and pool your income you may not feel like childcare costs are such a burden as they would be shared rather than all coming from your money.

Definitely, childcare should always be a shared cost

Your dh isn’t earning enough for you to be financially comfortable in your current situation. But your options are limited to things fitting around the Big Important Man Job.

What could do to increase his earnings or reduce his hours? This is a family problem, not just a you issue.