To not know how on earth I can go back to work?

[SoftAsShit]

I left my WFH job last year due to stress of childcare and I now work 10 hours a week around school times so it works well.. but I’m A) bored when I’m not working and B) money is so tight I’m unhappy and I just want to work more.

My current job doesn’t have the opportunity to work any more hours and I have no formal qualifications (except dental nursing but I would never go back into that job)

The thing is, I live in a remote area, salaries are low, jobs are sparse and I suffer with chronic anxiety so I’m a little bit picky (wouldn’t be able to do bar work/waitressing) ideally I’d like a desk job, don’t mind working with the public I just don’t want to be serving.. don’t ask why, it’s just a me thing.

and I absolutely cannot afford childcare during holidays. I could barely afford it when I was WFH and had to have them home some of the by time but the stress was too much and I ended up having a bit of a breakdown.
So I just don’t know how I can get back into work, to earn more money for the family.. whatever job I take up will mean having to arrange childcare before/after school and during holidays. I just can’t afford it.

How do people do it 😞

For reference, we aren’t entitled to any benefits, have a mortgage and some small debts that are being managed.

Not entirely sure what you want from this post really. Everyone has to make their own decisions about what tradeoffs are best for them. You don’t want a long list of jobs, won’t work offset hours to your husband, won’t pay for childcare… that leaves you pretty much nowhere. There’s no such thing as a job that lets you work or not on your schedule and pays you huge amounts of money unless you have a specialist skill set.

I think you just need to accept that this is what your life looks like unless it’s worth it to you to compromise on something. Children are only young for so long though so I’d start thinking about what you want in a few years when you won’t be so tied down and start working towards that.

seems to me most of this could be solved by moving but you won’t do that either so…

Lots of others have suggested cleaning/dog walking etc. which are great ideas and I’m going to suggest dog sitting at home. Easy to register with the council, no special skills needed apart from a love of dogs, you can pick and choose which ones you take etc. so would only have ones you’d be comfortable with/around children.

Busiest times are usually the school holidays which is a plus for you by the sounds of it, as is you being rural with presumably lots of nice walks nearby?

When I had my dog it cost around £20 a night for her to be looked after at a dog-sitters home. We’d always have a ‘meet and greet’ beforehand and photos during the stay and I always used the same one (had more than one as I moved area).

You say part of your problems are boredom and lack of qualifications, could you look into what adult education options there are which you could undertake? There are lots of distance learning options and often they can be reduced in cost if you are on a low income. Also, many councils will have funding available for adult education so it's worth looking into that. Perhaps your current workplace would consider some professional development courses for you?

Some Councils, at least theoretically, say they will consider term time only hours.

Look for remote working jobs. I know people who do call Centre type jobs from home. zero hours contracts will offer flexibility to work when suits. Sign up for alerts for zero hours / wfh/ flexible working jobs. Public and Third sector seem to have kept to this more the private sector ime. You need to make an active considerable effort to find jobs that will suit you.

How do people do it 😞

Well honestly? Better choices. Two adults with flexibility in their jobs and WFH options. Not living rurally so we have options for work and childcare. Making friends locally to share the holiday burden with. Having one child so that the finances are easier. DD's doing about 2 days of holiday clubs per week and then we manage with annual leave or just sharing between us.

Today I'm WFH and DD is playing over at a neighbours. She pops back for food and to get things, or they come here and play. I finish work at 2.

Your answers are very defeatist, can't do this or that for this reason. So what do you want? People manage by planning and making decisions around where to work, live, and how many children to have to try and mitigate situations like yours happening.

I'd look at what training is available for you (maybe online stuff?), and then go from there. Get trained up in something else whilst the DC are young as it might open a few more doors. I wouldn't know what to suggest job wise in the meantime, apart from maybe cleaning (perhaps sign on to an agency for adhoc evening/weekend work?). How old are your DC?

It's always a hard slog when you're juggling work and childcare: there was a point where my childcare costs were close to my take home pay (I'm a nurse)! Unfortunately, I couldn't stop work as I was the breadwinner (and then a single parent) and would have ended up losing NI and pension contributions (and my NMC registration). I negotiated my shift times though (that might be a possibility for jobs for you) when XH left and I was really up shit creek. Once the DC were older and didn't need childcare/could get themselves to/from school, it was much easier. Before then, it was nursery when they were tiny, then wraparound care, and a weekend childminder (before I was able to negotiate start/finish times).

No, she's hoping someone can suggest something she hasn't thought about.

just because she has lots of reasons things won't work in her situation, doesn't mean they're not valid reasons.

shes here because she WANTS more work. But needs something different to the big standard answers. She's hoping someone has a novel suggestion.

stop being so narky.

Not sure what you want from this post. You have given reasons why you can't/won't work more hours, are picky about which jobs you would do, won't move, won't pay for childcare and assuming your family that you live near wouldn't help out or you would have asked?

Could you offer a service eg ironing, cleaning, childminding? There are limited options when you live rurally and are restricted to term time school hours.
You ask how people do it they make sacrifices. My friend pays more for childcare in the hols than she earns. But she gets pension contributions and it benefits her mental health to work. I would be financially comfortable working full time but get stressed as a single parent juggling clubs, appointments, demanding job so I accept finances being tighter now for a slightly easier life. It's all trade offs and what benefits family life more money or more stress theres no magic solution unfortunately.

try the civil service - lots of WFH entry level admin roles and they are very happy to consider different working patterns like term time only

@SoftAsShit what role do you currently do in school?
Come September once the needs of children are known there might be SEN TA roles that come up within the school.
Have you actually asked about additional hours? My workplace usually would rather give current staff extra before advertising for new staff.
Is there a breakfast or after-school club? Have you spoken to whoever runs this about picking up any hours?

As others have said you do need need to compromise on what you want, or accept things the way they are. I know that working as a TA isn't great pay wise and I am over qualified for this role, but I wanted a term time job and didn't want to continue teaching.
There are apparently jobs in the civil service that offer term time only, but I personally have never seen these and also not living near a big city there are never any roles on offer as they all now require going into the office some days.

If they can't do childcare it's pointless living near them.

you're a right charmer aren't you
onky want relationships with people who you can 'use' .

What about being a PA? There are lots of people looking for a PA who receive direct payments rather than having a package of care.

Hours are usually negotiable. It’s unlikely to be term time only but gives you an income all year round and with some planning childcare can be sorted - ask friends and reciprocate having their dc in return, ask family for the odd day of help, look what clubs are available in your area and work with your DH to make sure you’re both contributing to this side of family life. it was like planning a military operation when our dc were young but definitely worth it. Good luck!

How old are your children? Would you go self employed? Dog walker / groomer?

Alot of people have suggested it but weekend cleaning could be the answer here as presumably your husband will be able to have the kids ?

Bit thats life with school holidays. You both take seperate annual leave and then pay for childcare. Most people dont have any left over on months they are paying for holiday childcare schemes

I think you need to take some courses like CIPD or ACCA and once you have more time start working as an accounts assistants or HR assistant/internal recruiter.

Aren't you entitled to funded childcare if youre working? I.e. 30 hrs per week.

To save on childcare costs my husband and I worked the opposite hours. I worked evenings and weekends and he did core weekday hours.

YABU and your only solution to get out of the situation you are in is to find a job with more hours and you know it. That is the only thing that might help.

Do you have a large garden and experience with pets? You could set up a small pet hotel (guinea pigs, rabbits and hamsters) - very popular in school holidays, we drive 40mins to get to our preferred bunny minder!

Could you train as a swimming instructor if you have a local pool, and ask a family member to babysit when you’re working? It’s a good Saturday morning job

You don’t seem to want to make any sacrifices… don’t want to move picky about jobs etc so it just sounds like you aren’t hungry enough for the money tbh. If you want to improve your life you need to get comfortable with being uncomfortable or your situation will not improve.

@SoftAsShit I'd put yourself on the list for NHS talking therapies as a minimum to deal with your anxiety, you'll open a whole world of possibilities for yourself.

When I was made redundant I took a job with a care agency. Contract was zero hours so didn't need to book leave for childcare/school hols (though obvs wasn't paid while off). I worked between school drop off/pick up then a couple of evenings back out when dh was home for the dc. Did a long day every other weekend (enhancements were great!).

Would never have considered it in the past but I needed something and their office was directly opposite my old one. Quite literally changed my life (career path anyway).

What about an office job in a school?

school hours. Term time only. Desk job.
and if it matters to you some adult interaction during the day so you aren’t so isolated?

it does suck. So many woman end up working to pay childcare for the first 5 years of each of their child’s life and it can feel like Groundhog Day.

School cleaners too.

My friend did this. She became a child minder when her children were young and hasn’t looked back.