thinking its mad, how everyone assumes your going to return to work, when your dcs start school?

[milkgoddessmakesthefinestmilk]

im not planning to, i want to be the one that takes dd to school picks her up from school is there if shes sick or on holiday.

don't school children have about 3 months of hols a year?

that's cool annie but given that marmite and quattro won't actually comment on their working hours makes me suspect they don't handle the juggle quite as well.

(yes, laptops with mobile wi-fi, wonderful! made my life considerably better)

oh and speaking of pride in ones work.... you do know that any medium to large size corporation will get rid of you in an instant if it suits their bottom line don't you?

You hadn't asked me to comment on my working hours, I do about 25 - 30 hours pw and pick up my son from school every day.

I would feel fundamentally dishonest taking that approach to work.

And I don't model my integrity on that of large corporations. Or even small ones.

me too. i fit in as much as poss but they just want blood and I'm knackered already without having to fit in even more and completely destroy my marriage. Things still get missed. I don't know how people who do keep up with it manage to sustain their lives at home. They don't would be the answer on that I guess.

I couldn't be a SAHM because I think I would find it very boring but also because I would hate not to earn my own money. I would feel as though I had reverted to being a teenager again having to ask for money or being given an "allowance". I'm sorry if that offends some people, but that's my opinion.

I don't ask for money or get an allowance.

Oh give Daddycool a break. Plenty of people's main motivation to work is for the money. Some people work to live, others live to work.

Cut him some slack here.

branflake - I didn't have to ask for money, or have an allowance - we had (and still have) a joint account & I spent what I needed/wanted and so did DH.

VS on braindeath of course I meant present company excepted .... was a bit of a rueful comment with two formerly really close chums in mind

Iota published an interesting article on a recent sahm/wohm thread which explains that nearly 90% of all mums do actually return to work.

Now the nature of the work is something that worries me because if women are giving up "good" jobs to stay at home and then find that they are only employable in "bad" jobs - then is that not a feminist issue? Shouldn't we all be absolutely outraged about that?

I haven't read the thread, just OP.

I agree - it's much harder to work once they go to school IME. It's important to me to be the one to take and pick up from school, be able to take them to activities and have friends over.

I'm very fortunate I work for myself, from home, so there is no way I'd go back to working in an office again with rigid hours.

And anyone who says they would be bored 'at home' while children are at school are seriously lacking imagination. There is sooooo much you can do with that time without having to go out to work.

yes gobble. I think you said what i was thinking in a simple sentence as opposed to my over complicated attempt at an explanation. Lack of imagination. there are so many other things to do.

I must be very unimaginative then, as I was bored witless.

If people assume that a woman will get a job when the children are at school, it's nothing personal about you. Hor is it particularly mad. It's quite a reasonable assumption I'd say because many women do exactly that.

Being a SAHM is boring, even more so when you're busy, because you don't have the time to sit and do what you want so your whole life revolves around childcare and housework, not fun.

I'm establishing bfing with a baby atm, so have plenty of excuses to leave the washing and read up on stuff I'm really interested in
I'd imagine a great deal of SAHM's come on mumsnet because of the mindnumbing boredom it sometimes creates, it gives us intellectual people to debate with and chances for our brains to 'work'.

I would agree many mums I have known that are SAHM almost seem to lose touch with reality, sitting at home day after day watching dreadful daytime television and never having an adult conversation, but TBH, those people weren't exactly giving their brain a work out when in education or employment, so personally I think it is down to the person, not the situation, though you could argue those who want to use their brain are the ones who are more likely to return to work or education once children start school.

Swings and Roundabouts.

Here's Iota's post - there'll always be a hardcore of both men and women who can't/won't/don't need to work of course - but by school age 89% of women are back to work.

What worries me is the nature of that work. I'd rather see more women as chief executives/judges/surgeons and fewer as checkout operators.

By Iota on Wed 28-May-08 15:48:17
here's an interesting set of facts which I just posed on another thread:

Half of all mothers return to work in the first year. The other half continue to stay home, but not as long as you might imagine. Half of those who stayed home past a year have returned to work by the time their child is five years old. Eventually, 89% of all mothers return to paid work.

from www.guardian.co.uk/money/2006/jun/10/careers.work7

so all the argument is about really is exactly how many years mothers take off to look after their children

Gobbledigook,

Lacking in imagination, come on now, we could all find lots of things to do with the time but is it really fair to be able to do whatever we want with that time whilst the other partner is working to support the family financially. Personally I'd feel guilty if I pursued hobbies instead of doing charity work or something equally worthwhile.

I know ladies who have done PhD's for the sake of challenging themselves intellectually in subjects which are irrelevant to the career market they may eventually find themselves in. They found them very fulfilling but I do feel for the husbands who funded them in rather stressful pressure jobs.

Having said that, on MN there do seem to be plenty of male partners supported by their wives/girlfriends and likely to remain so as they seem incapable of holding down a job long term themselves.

FFS, can't anyone understand that some people make a good career out of housewifey things and some don't/won't/can't, some people feel undervalued by dh/dps if they don't work and some feel like that if they do.
The main focus of this and any other SAHM is the word 'I', it's all subjective so why fucking argue about it?

Charity work is increasingly becoming professionalised. I think the days when it was something the unemployed used to get a taste of the working world may come to an end.

Anniemac, I noticed the way it was phrased too. I think it must be really hard for men not to work. Must harder than it is for women.

Sitdown, don't you think those men would have done those jobs anyway?

What are you talking about? Are your whites really white Posey?