AIBU to send DC to private school funded by the LA

[missrachelsavesmedaily]

I was taken back by best friends response to my DC getting a new school setting come September.
we have been friends since we were children and tend to discuss a lot of things that I would not discuss with ofhers.
we struggled to find a school setting for DC come September when they start secondary school.
I have 3 children and we are financially comfortable I could pay the fee for private school for 1 but not 3 without it effecting our lives too much although 100 percent would not be able to do the same for the others.

DC starts a private school that was named on EHCP in September and we are extremely lucky to have been granted the school without tribunals.
we have accepted the place and the LA accepted the cost - I didn’t really think anything of it to be honest there was no other choices of schools such they are entitled to an education funded.
she got quite opinionated about the fees being covered !
should I be offering to pay towards the fees ?

First post nails it.

The biggest problem with the current system is there's no accountability or repercussions for LAs that routinely and repeatedly make unlawful decisions. Forcing appeals which they then use barristers for. Complete waste of time and money.

I know a lot of people feel it's unfair and unsustainable. I can guarantee they'd not want my DS3 in their child's mainstream class though! He's got EOTIS from September, it will be a lot cheaper than his last independent Special school.

Labour seems to be focusing on hubs within mainstream. I have my concerns with that, having had 1 child attend one for their secondary placement. I completed the survey which got closed early as DfE didn't expect SNJ to share on their website?!? The whole thing is suspicious but I guess come October we'll have a better idea.

none of that relevant to the OP, sorry for going off-topic 🙈

So much depends on what is available in your area - we have an independent school in our town which specialises in children who are academically able but who wouldn't cope in a local secondary. I knew several kids who went there - all high functioning autistic but no ehc plan, funded by the parents.

But it does also mean that there is an option for the LA to fund places there too. A girl i knew went there - she is autistic, went to mainstream secondary but had a breakdown by half term. Educated through home tutors for several months. Ehc assessment carried out and this was the most appropriate option for her as she couldn't manage mainstream, she was too able for local mainstream sen schools, and the local independent sen school which would have worked was full (and more expensive).

Sometimes you do have to fail first sadly.

In summary, she is jealous you have a disabled child (who cannot cope in standard mainstream education). Fuck that! I would not give it a second thought. She is clearly very ignorant.

That’s not a friend.

My friend fought the LA for three years, which was exhausting but they agreed in the end. They picked up the fees.

Glad your case went smoothly.

No, you shouldn’t offer to pay towards fees, and you shouldn’t feel any guilt whatsoever as you didn’t ask for a place in an independent school. I’d question why your « friend » is so aggrieved. The LA wouldn’t fund it if they could provide a mainstream space for your child that met their needs.

I should add I know there is alor going on regarding the high level of SEN and that those with children who have autism / adhd are feeling the brunt of it.

I know the previous person mentioned having to exhaust diagnosis get lots of evidence etc for us it was more straight forward I didn’t need chase disgnsosis as it’s a different situation.

not all children requiring special provision are autistic or ADHD. In our case it’s a mixture of health and cerebral palsy.

our local SEND offer - was mainstreams with units but mainly autism.
2 Sen schools for high need medical care - which was preference but their acadmic abilities were much lower and they didn’t think they could offer dc an education.
2 other Sen schools for Low functions autism / SEHM.

EHCPs are based on needs rather than diagnosis. (Although some SS cater for specific diagnoses.) The content of EHCPs is based on evidence, so everyone needs evidence to one extent or another. Some will need more evidence than others, but everyone needs some.

I’m baffled as to why you’re so adamant it’s not a mainstream independent school. I know of at least 3 cases whereby my local LA funded children through private schools for various reason. I used to work in this field and it’s more common than you’d think 😅

This thread has made me a bit sad. I have two ASD DC, one of whom has just done really badly at all his GCSEs. State comprehensive just didn't work for him, he switched off completely when he didn't understand and just says now he can't pay attention or remember anything so what's the point.
I think things would have been different in a private school with a different peer group. But neither DC are "bad" enough for an EHCP so there's no chance, and it's too late for the older one now. We could never afford it ourselves. I want to be happy for others but I can't help feeling sad for my own children.

I mean when she said I would have started the exhausting process of reports etc
as in saying I sought the independent sector
for me they had their diagnosis for school long before starting. His ehcp was sorted along time ago I didn’t seek out anything.

I didn’t even retaliate because it was making them look stupid not me 🤣🤣🤣🤣

Who told you DC aren’t bad enough for EHCPs? Have you actually requested EHCNAs and appealed if refused?

It isn’t too late for DC1 either.

I didn't honestly think they'd get one @flawlessflipper School have been fairly accommodating but they're just very young for their ages, and social communication can be tricky. This leads to bullying, which leads to anxiety, which leads to school refusal and so on. The environment is just overwhelming, there's nothing specific about it that they could change. It's just too much.

You may have to appeal, but it sounds like DC would meet the legal threshold.

The kids at these school didn’t have disabilities. Plenty of local people worked at these schools, including as teachers.

All the well I'm not sure whst your point is then?

Many DC at what were called borstals would have met the definition of having SEN as set out in the section 20 of the Children and Families Act 2014. SEMH needs are one area of SEN.

Im guessing she doesnt believe your dc needs are that complex

I just wanted to say as a teacher and mother of a ds who will likely get v poor results in a couple of weeks, partly due to late diagnosis of ADHD that it is not too late. FE colleges do resits alongside L1/2 courses in National Certificates / Diplomas etc. At few other times do we have an absolute cut off . We make far too much about getting those grades at THIS point. Next year is fine. They all get there in their own time. Don't feel discouraged.

What on earth are you talking about? My son is at a mainstream private school, which is named on his EHCP (and funded by the LA). The local state schools can't meet his needs. This private school can. It's not Eton, but it's a well regarded private school and not a specialist school.

(Tell me you know nothing about EHCPs without telling me you know nothing about EHCPs! 🙄)

OP, the only thing you need to do is get better friends. She sounds very jealous to be honest. Good luck to your son.

This. Horrible woman.

@Arran2024 We are in an area known for having awful state secondary schools! Everyone who possibly can afford to pay privately does.

@User2346 would you care to DM me the details of your EP and anyone else that may be useful?

@flawlessflipper we have an amazing SALT (I would expect so at the price I pay per week) and she writes the best reports and advocates for DC2. No OT yet. Maybe that's something else I should start paying for?