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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Why does everyone say they love being fat until they get their hands on skinny jabs?

699 replies

Holmints · 06/08/2025 09:46

I’m seeing this so much on social media. People screaming from the rooftops how they love their bodies. Hate comments come and they combat them with body positivity, I admired them so much.

Lately though, the very people who were oh-so-body-positive are popping back up five stone lighter. Some comment on it and some don’t, as if they’re waiting for people to ask. Hang on a minute, I thought you loved your big body? Did you love being fat or not?

OP posts:
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6
BunnyLake · 06/08/2025 15:16

LavenderBlue19 · 06/08/2025 14:45

I'm not sure it does, for some. The slimness, at least. My best mate has always been slim (known her since we were teens, now mid-40s) and says she doesn't really get hungry. She doesn't think about food other than the practicalities of needing to feed herself for energy to do things. She's only just recently started exercising regularly - running - because she says it's a nice break from the kids 😂She's just not really interested in food. I think a lot of slim people are like that, to greater or lesser extent.

I was slim all my life until I got to forty and the sudden weight gain was really triggered by some abdominal surgeries I had to have. Before that I ate whatever I wanted and was always thinking about food but stayed naturally slim (no exercise other than normal walking). I remember work colleagues would say, you’re always eating, how do you stay so slim? Aargh, those were the days. Now a sandwich will pile the weight on me. Trouble is I still think about food a lot but anything remotely carb piles the weight on me. I wish I could think so little about food and eating as your friend. I just love to eat. 🫤

FairyGodDaughter · 06/08/2025 15:22

@WalterMittysPuppet many people don’t get side effects, especially if able to stay on low doses. I’ve been on for more than 6 months and honestly have had zero side effects (and lost 4 stone).

FairyGodDaughter · 06/08/2025 15:24

RunSlowTalkFast · 06/08/2025 15:07

I remember it mostly being about UPF and how it's everywhere and addictive so it's hard not to eat more than we should. Which is what I said.

I tried to do very low upf eating but found that I'm able to overeat on anything so went back to calorie counting!

I wish he’d write an updated post WLI version.

TakeMeToAnIgloo · 06/08/2025 15:26

To me, body positivity is a reaction against the idea that fat people should hate ourselves, just for being fat - that the fatness is all that defines us. And being positive, loving your body, doesn't literally mean that you love being fat, but that you feel you are worth just as much as anyone else, fat or not. The hate towards being fat is so ingrained in you that it's really hard not to hate yourself, and to agree with the messages that society gives you that fat is one of the worst things anyone can be. The constant messages that you should have fat models showing how clothes look in case anyone is inspired to try to look like that (yeah right, it's so obvious hot much fat people are hated that it's not going to happen!), that clothes - especially nice ones - in larger sizes shouldn't be available in shops in case it makes being fat seem too normal (again, who is going to choose to be fat just because nice clothes were available?!), that if you're fat you shouldn't eat in public, especially treats, but also shouldn't exercise in public, etc. All of it just gives you the constant message that you aren't worth as much as a thin person. So body positivity and loving yourself -regardless of your body - is more what I think this movement was originally about; loving yourself despite(?) or perhaps including(?) being fat, as part of the whole package of 'you'.

And none of that is counter to losing weight. I have lost a fair bit of weight recently, not via jabs, but I probably would if I had had the opportunity. I probably would have been a good candidate in many ways - I am currently managing to control calories, but it's constant hunger and obsession about food and planning and what I am going to eat when, when will I fit in a long run to make up for it, how many hours of exercise etc - and realistically, I don't know if it's sustainable. It's miserable, that's for sure. I've done it before, and never managed to maintain, though with fewer hours of exercise before. It's a constant battle, it seems. And my blood work, other conditions etc isn't getting better anyway, which makes it even more of a struggle. I can't stop thinking about it for a day or I lose the will power and gain again. I don't think I have turned into someone with the mind of a slim person at all. Yet people will say that I've done it 'properly' because I haven't used the drugs, but honestly, I don't think it's different. People using the drugs are possibly happier while doing it, but they still have to cut the calories and treats almost completely, exercise for ages etc, if they actually want to lose the weight.

Do I feel more body positive now? Not really. I still know I've been fat for most of my life, have a likelihood that I will be again, and am very very aware of how I'm judged for it and treated when fat/slim, and I know what people think. They are more likely to make comments about fat people around me now that I'm less fat, and it's astonishing the depth of fat hatred that you can find in people you wouldn't have expected. The years living with the messages from society about how awful being fat is have had a long-term effect that is as hard to get rid of as the weight. I don't think people realise how much their judgements affect people - and not in a way that spurs them to lose weight, that's for sure.

And as for burgers and chips, yes maybe once a month or two I will eat out, and then I will have something that I've been craving for ages, what might seem like a full, unhealthy meal, but only because I've prepared and planned for it, possilbly run for ten miles earlier in the day, eaten extra mini portions for the week beforehand, etc. It might be the treat I've been looking forward to as motivation to keep on with the whole business. So don't judge your friends without knowing all the details of what they're doing. Treat them as if they're worth something regardless of size instead, and then maybe they will be able to make the healthy choices - it's much easier to treat yourself well and be healthy when you think you're worth it as a person.

Brownbearwhitebear · 06/08/2025 15:29

SwingTheMonkey · 06/08/2025 11:46

So what? I’ve lost weight using the jabs and I’m proud of myself. Why shouldn’t I mention it?

What are you proud of though? I honestly dont get it

AlvinBrioche · 06/08/2025 15:30

There is nothing wrong with loving your body, I think you are far more likely to succeed with weight loss if you aren't feeling hideous about yourself, although for some these negative feelings will be the thing that motivates them to lose weight.

That said, there are so many risks with being overweight, losing the weight is a positive for everyone. We live in a time where our hospital services are so poorly funded and overstretched, this could make an amazing amount of difference in years to come with cancer rates, heart disease/attacks, joint replacements and other weight related illnesses.

I have come across a plethora of slim people who seem petrified at the fatties becoming thin! I think if you need the jabs to help you lose weight, then go for it. Its not cheating because people losing weight is a win for everyone!

AngelinaFibres · 06/08/2025 15:31

DancefloorAcrobatics · 06/08/2025 10:01

Marketing is working very hard to make being fat unacceptable.

But it is unacceptable.

spoonbillstretford · 06/08/2025 15:32

plinkityplink · 06/08/2025 09:58

Everyone’? Really?

love being fat? No. Willing to inject myself with stuff that we don’t know the long term side effects for? No.

give it 30 years and the NHS could be dealing with the effects of these jabs. Just like the smoking ads of the 50s…

It's already dealing with the effects of obesity.

SwingTheMonkey · 06/08/2025 15:32

Brownbearwhitebear · 06/08/2025 15:29

What are you proud of though? I honestly dont get it

I’m proud that I’ve lost weight 🤷🏻‍♀️

SecretNameAsImShy · 06/08/2025 15:38

doodleschnoodle · 06/08/2025 10:00

Because it’s a way to deal with. Outside of very niche cases I think almost every fat (as in clinically obese) person would rather not be fat. No one would choose to be fat v a healthy weight, but it’s about making the best of it I suppose or trying to exert some control over something you feel you don’t have control of.

Personally I find some of the ‘body positive’ advertising with very obese models (Snag I’m looking at you) just as inappropriate as very thin models, but that is apparently not an acceptable thing to say.

Disclaimer: I was fat. I was not happy being fat. I was not body positive. I am slim now and am happy being slim.

Edited

Totally agree with you regarding the snag adverts, also the adverts for bras which seem to be constantly on my social media feeds, very large girls with teeny tiny bras on! M&S, Next and now Zara coming under fire, quite rightly, for stick thin models. Both polar opposites and both showing unhealthy people.

I was and had been for many years, clinically obese. I managed to lose a stone last year and a stone the year before with dieting. Two stone in two years. I’ve been on WLI for 7 months and have lost a further 3 stone. I am still in the overweight category and need to lose another 2 stone to get to a healthy BMI. For me WLI have been life changing.

I can honestly say that I was bloody miserable when I was fat, I am so much happier now.

The celebs who were saying they were happy fat but have now lost loads of weight were trying to convince themselves they were happy when the reality was that they weren’t.

SecretNameAsImShy · 06/08/2025 15:40

plinkityplink · 06/08/2025 09:58

Everyone’? Really?

love being fat? No. Willing to inject myself with stuff that we don’t know the long term side effects for? No.

give it 30 years and the NHS could be dealing with the effects of these jabs. Just like the smoking ads of the 50s…

Yawn! Another one knocking WLI. The drugs have been used for years to treat diabetics. The drugs are safe for long term use as long as a medical professional, ie GP, are overseeing it.

PinkArt · 06/08/2025 15:48

SwingTheMonkey · 06/08/2025 15:32

I’m proud that I’ve lost weight 🤷🏻‍♀️

Presumably you aren't meant to feel proud because you're a lazy, dirty cheater for using WLI! 🤦🏻‍♀️ Despite the fact you've still made all of the dietary changes you would have without them, made all of the food choices, likely upped your exercise or general activity, dropped your calorie intake...
It's like saying someone with dyslexia shouldn't get to feel proud of their results because they were granted extra exam time.

Icebreakhell · 06/08/2025 15:50

The scathing language (skinny jabs) around weight loss injections points towards some people (interestingly, never those taking them) seeming quite resentful. It’s interesting.

Ultimately, they’re going to save a significant amount of people from weight related morbidity and early mortality, probably saving the NHS (who don’t pay for them) a fortune.

There’s nothing wrong with people being happy with how they look, albeit fat, thin or somewhere in the middle. Even if some of that is a bit delusional. What do you want op, the less than perfect to be hidden away, self flagellating?

spoonbillstretford · 06/08/2025 15:51

Velmy · 06/08/2025 14:33

The majority of people in that position - whether they admitted to it or not - almost certainly weren't 'happy' with how they looked/the impact their weight was having on their life/health. Saying that they were, was absolutely a coping mechanism (just like when they claimed they 'couldn't' lose weight for whatever reason) - it was an effort to convince others, and themselves.

I genuinely believe that the majority of those people were in that position because they weren't willing to regulate their food intake or do the requisite exercise to improve their situation.

So now that those people have found a cheat code - the ability to lose the weight without putting in the effort to exercise, or having the willpower to control their eating - of course they're going to be happy. They got their desired result, and can claim it was only possible via medical intervention, while maintaining their fantasy that it was nothing to do with them not moving enough and eating too much.

I was putting in the effort to eat well and exercise, for the last 16 years. Usually I'd lose a stone, get fed up of restricting myself for months at a time and put it back on again.

Before taking mounjaro I was averaging about 1700 calories a day, doing two weights sessions and one cardio session in the gym a week, plus two yoga classes, walking every day (have a dog and also walk on my commute). Eating any less seemed impossible and even keeping to that was hard. I was eating plenty of green veg, lots of protein, lower carbs, plenty of fibre, moderate alcohol. I was taking a month to lose a pound and my weight was really just static, my BMI was 29.6.

With mounjaro I'm able to average 1400/1500 calories a day, do the same exercise regime and have lost nearly two stone, though it has still take me five months so far- though I am now just about at normal BMI (25.1) and don't have much to lose so it will be slower. I feel I can keep going for as long as I need to without feeling like I'm starving myself and I hardly get any side effects.

I'll keep calorie counting/tracking food for another six months at least when I come off it and stick to 1800 calories which should be about maintenance for me, and of course stick with the exercise. Also high impact exercise like running is much easier now I'm lighter.

EatMoreChocolate44 · 06/08/2025 15:52

I hear what your saying OP. I followed a few curvy women on Instagram. They were champions for real women and dressing to feel good and flatter your shape. They weren't very overweight just your average size 12/14 mums. They made me feel good carrying a little weight myself after 2 kids and perimenopause . I got lots of inspiration from them and great ideas for clothes. Now they are super skinny and it does feel like it was all a bit dishonest. Probably a bit of jealousy on my part too but this whole everyone needing/wanting to be skinny feels like we've regressed back to the 90s. I'm all for obese people taking the jabs for their health but there are so many average sized people now not to mention celebrities who have no weight to loose in the first place taking them.

Brownbearwhitebear · 06/08/2025 15:53

Thingyfanding · 06/08/2025 14:32

I can imagine it’s quite annoying - especially if you haven’t any weight issues yourself. It’s incredibly freeing not thinking about food all the time and being drawn to healthier choices instead of the crap food that just depresses you and makes you feel terrible. You feel wonderful, so it’s true, people have become preoccupied with the jabs - but deservedly so in my opinion.

I do very much have weight issues actually but the jabs are not for me. I'm glad they work for some people but I'm not sure why we need to hear so much about them. Maybe half the people posting work for one of the companies selling them, nothing would surprise me on here any more!

SwingTheMonkey · 06/08/2025 15:56

PinkArt · 06/08/2025 15:48

Presumably you aren't meant to feel proud because you're a lazy, dirty cheater for using WLI! 🤦🏻‍♀️ Despite the fact you've still made all of the dietary changes you would have without them, made all of the food choices, likely upped your exercise or general activity, dropped your calorie intake...
It's like saying someone with dyslexia shouldn't get to feel proud of their results because they were granted extra exam time.

I suspect that was where that was going, yes.

Never mind that I’ve spent a year re educating myself about my diet. Eating healthily, turning down treats and going to the gym 4x a week. I even exercised daily in the hotel gym whilst on holiday this summer! My body is the healthiest it’s been in my entire adult life. But no, I shouldn’t feel proud of myself because I’m a lazy cheat!

SwingTheMonkey · 06/08/2025 16:00

Brownbearwhitebear · 06/08/2025 15:53

I do very much have weight issues actually but the jabs are not for me. I'm glad they work for some people but I'm not sure why we need to hear so much about them. Maybe half the people posting work for one of the companies selling them, nothing would surprise me on here any more!

People generally do have a lot to say about something that has literally changed their life and in lots of cases, saved their life. I honestly don’t know why you can’t understand that.

goldenquestion · 06/08/2025 16:09

Exactly this! Can’t fathom anyone hearing from a smoker or heroin addict who’s used chemical assistance to change their lifestyle and the response being “mmm but nothing to be proud of, you didn’t suffer to get there”

TorroFerney · 06/08/2025 16:17

TheNinthLock · 06/08/2025 09:55

Self defence mechanism. Coping mechanism. Making the best of a shit situation?

No one loves being fat. No one is fat by choice.

Agree, things you are happy with you don’t tend to mention , or when you are happy in yourself you don’t tend to mention things about yourself. If you compliment yourself a lot you are usually compensating I find.

my mum in law who was overweight used to always say, apropos of absolutely nothing I never eat sweets/chocolate. Err that’s great thanks for that, what do I say, well done? Oh and ignore the big box of Maltesers you have on the floor next to the sofa!

chipsticksmammy · 06/08/2025 16:20

For those who have no experience of WLI, trying to eat anything greasy or have more than 1 or 2 alcoholic drinks usually ends up with some side effects.

The poster who clocked her 'friend' eating a burger and chips and commenting, she probably did enjoy it, but may have had some side effects and perhaps didnt have much else to eat that day.

Its very hard to eat much on WLI and you have to eat well and exercise a lot to see changes.
HTH.

PinkArt · 06/08/2025 16:20

SwingTheMonkey · 06/08/2025 15:56

I suspect that was where that was going, yes.

Never mind that I’ve spent a year re educating myself about my diet. Eating healthily, turning down treats and going to the gym 4x a week. I even exercised daily in the hotel gym whilst on holiday this summer! My body is the healthiest it’s been in my entire adult life. But no, I shouldn’t feel proud of myself because I’m a lazy cheat!

I hear you. I too am a big fat lazy cheat! Or, in my better informed and less judgemental opinion, am someone who's found a brilliantly helpful tool that helps level the playing field a bit, so I can do what all the people without deafening food noise and mad blood sugar levels could do all along. It's so much easier eating in a sensible calorie deficit when I'm not shaky and close to passing out on the way home because my blood sugar levels have plummeted.

MyDeftDuck · 06/08/2025 16:23

FairyGodDaughter · 06/08/2025 14:06

Why the snark? You do know that the vast majority people on WLIs are paying for them themselves?

I wasn’t being ‘snarky’ I was stating my point of view from my experience……thought that’s what MN was for……sharing experience and points of view.

LaMarschallin · 06/08/2025 16:27

Presumably, now there are fat people slimming down because their "food noise" has been removed, there'll be more people who understood that many (the majority of?) slim people don't just stay that way by massive self-denial and being permanently starved and unhappy - they just don't suffer from "food noise".

I've seen many posts on MN saying this sort of thing, followed up by something like "I may be fat but at least I'm not starving and miserable. Stick a biscuit in your gob and enjoy yourself!".

Now we find that many fat people aren't/weren't happy about it, maybe it could also be taken on board that many thin people aren't miserable and permanently hungry?

Eta Sorry if this exact thing has already been said. I've skim-read the thread but could have missed it.

Pashazade · 06/08/2025 16:31

I didn’t want to be fat, but I’d made peace with it because trying to loose weight was very difficult and soul destroying and I wanted to enjoy my life. Mounjaro made loosing weight simple. That’s the bottom line, I didn’t have to feel like I was permanently starving or consider every single thing I ate. Constantly monitoring what I ate made me miserable so I accepted myself where I was and how I was. Fully aware of health implications etc etc. I still enjoyed life but losing weight was not my entire existence. Am I happier being 4 stone lighter yes. Do I now have ironclad resolution to not put the weight back on yes.

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