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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be furious that my neighbour ‘borrowed’ my garden furniture for her BBQ?

238 replies

2coolec · 05/08/2025 17:37

Went away for the weekend, came back Monday afternoon to find our patio table, four chairs, and parasol in next door’s garden.

Turns out she’d had a BBQ on Sunday and “thought we wouldn’t mind” if she borrowed them. Was “going to return it”. Only I found out because by Monday evening it was still all sat there and I saw her teenage son and his mates hanging out on my furniture.

No note. No text. Just helped herself. I wouldn’t even have known if I hadn’t looked over the fence.

I’m honestly livid. It’s not a small thing to borrow and she didn’t even ask. What if it had got damaged? Or gone missing?

AIBU to think this is beyond cheeky and actually borderline theft?

OP posts:
Mondaytuesdayhappydays · 05/08/2025 23:02

Kangarude · 05/08/2025 18:15

Sorry but 😂
How did you not notice till you looked over the fence? Didn’t you notice it was missing? I am imagining you peeping over the fence and seeing your neighbours relaxing on your garden furniture.This is one of the funniest things I’ve read for a long while. I can’t stop laughing. I hope you make them carry it back round to yours

Yes I mean it’s Tuesday now ?? You would surely go knock straight away and get it carried back around no???

Seasonofthesticks · 05/08/2025 23:12

WTAF! I can’t deal with people.

LillyPJ · 05/08/2025 23:14

AffableApple · 05/08/2025 22:35

Of course not. You must be new here.

Edited
Show quote history

So why is it ok to use OP's garden furniture? And what do you mean saying I must be new here? I'm not but that's completely irrelevant. You are not making any sense.

Mondaytuesdayhappydays · 05/08/2025 23:21

Thunderpants88 · 05/08/2025 22:22

If my neighbours asked I would have said no bother.

However we lent a 14 man gazebo to our neighbours and it blew away. They replaced it with a 6 man spindly rubbish broken one. Very awkward. We let it go and took it as a lesson learnt. Now if we lend something out we say “happy to lend but if you break it you replace it-like for like”

your neighbour didn’t ask. So very very rude

Yes we have had a similar experience with a very good gazebo - and when DH insisted it was replaced like for like it was very very awkward at the time.

now when lending things - power tools / jet washes/ camping gear/ kitchen kit and appliances such as my freestanding outdoor gas paella dish and long plancha - I actually send a link to the item online for sale somewhere and state you can borrow by all means but if it gets broken this is where you need to go replace it.

I recently leant a nearly new hard suitcase to a friend who cracked it
they wanted to send the cash but I was clear I wanted the actual item without the hassle of reordering it myself so told them to crack on on Amazon with next day delivery ( to their address not mine ) a d then bring me back my identical case lol

I also think if someone is borrowing a jet wash once a week to clean their car they actually need to buy one for themself and would say that probably on the 4/5 occasion.

Same as luggage for every single holiday/weekend away - don’t be a tight arse get out and buy it yourself x

Dolphinosep0tatoes · 05/08/2025 23:21

LillyPJ · 05/08/2025 23:14

So why is it ok to use OP's garden furniture? And what do you mean saying I must be new here? I'm not but that's completely irrelevant. You are not making any sense.

Show quote history

That's not what they're saying...

Anyone asked why the OP minds as they clearly weren't using it at that moment yet?

---> They were just making a point about the ridiculous replies these posts can attract

Mondaytuesdayhappydays · 05/08/2025 23:25

DisabledDemon · 05/08/2025 22:48

I used to have a neighbour who had a spare key for my house. She was having her daughter over for lunch and knowing that I was working for a wine company and had a pretty good collection of wines, she decided to come in to my home whilst I was on holiday and help herself to a bottle of wine!

She bypassed the cheaper stuff and went straight for the harder to find bottles that were in a wine rack tucked into a fireplace behind a table - and waltzed out with a bottle of white Burgundy worth £45 (and this was in the 1990s).

My compensation was a bottle from M&S for £5.

She got told to never, ever do it again.

there is no way on this planet I would have not got 45 quid out of the cheeky fucker
in fact I would have told them it was 80 so look sharp and pay up

absolutely Shameless a 5 note voucher - fuck dat !!

samthepigeon · 05/08/2025 23:34

I had a lodger for a while who joined the friendship group. When she moved out she would call me up for a chat; very nice, you might think. She would ask my plans for the weekend - I often went away as I was in a long distance relationship. I kept saying we must meet up etc, but it never happened. One Sunday I came back and was really puzzled. On my counter top in the kitchen was one of those washing balls that you put liquid in. I always used powder. It suddenly dawned on me that she had a spare key, and was letting herself in each week to use my washing machine as she didn't have one in her new place. That is why she rang up each week, to see if she was around. Now, if she had asked to use the machine, it would have been no problem; we could have had a natter and a catch up. The next time she rang, I told her I was going away for the weekend, and I locked the front door from the inside so she couldn't get in. Lo and behold, she turned up. I wish I had been able to confront her, but I was too much of a coward. Instead, next time she rang I asked for the key back.

mondaytosunday · 05/08/2025 23:36

Wow. My neighbour, who I get on very well with, has a big rosemary bush out front. I asked her one Easter if I could cut a few sprigs. She was totally happy and said ‘any time’. Well I still felt I had to ask her next time but she again insisted that I was welcome.
But not in a million years would I borrow her furniture! What absolute bizarre behaviour. And worse, to not bother returning it before you came back or after you did?! Beyond rude.

Dolphinosep0tatoes · 05/08/2025 23:38

samthepigeon · 05/08/2025 23:34

I had a lodger for a while who joined the friendship group. When she moved out she would call me up for a chat; very nice, you might think. She would ask my plans for the weekend - I often went away as I was in a long distance relationship. I kept saying we must meet up etc, but it never happened. One Sunday I came back and was really puzzled. On my counter top in the kitchen was one of those washing balls that you put liquid in. I always used powder. It suddenly dawned on me that she had a spare key, and was letting herself in each week to use my washing machine as she didn't have one in her new place. That is why she rang up each week, to see if she was around. Now, if she had asked to use the machine, it would have been no problem; we could have had a natter and a catch up. The next time she rang, I told her I was going away for the weekend, and I locked the front door from the inside so she couldn't get in. Lo and behold, she turned up. I wish I had been able to confront her, but I was too much of a coward. Instead, next time she rang I asked for the key back.

What a cheeky cow!

DisabledDemon · 05/08/2025 23:42

samthepigeon · 05/08/2025 23:34

I had a lodger for a while who joined the friendship group. When she moved out she would call me up for a chat; very nice, you might think. She would ask my plans for the weekend - I often went away as I was in a long distance relationship. I kept saying we must meet up etc, but it never happened. One Sunday I came back and was really puzzled. On my counter top in the kitchen was one of those washing balls that you put liquid in. I always used powder. It suddenly dawned on me that she had a spare key, and was letting herself in each week to use my washing machine as she didn't have one in her new place. That is why she rang up each week, to see if she was around. Now, if she had asked to use the machine, it would have been no problem; we could have had a natter and a catch up. The next time she rang, I told her I was going away for the weekend, and I locked the front door from the inside so she couldn't get in. Lo and behold, she turned up. I wish I had been able to confront her, but I was too much of a coward. Instead, next time she rang I asked for the key back.

Wow - I thought my story of a CF neighbour was bad enough but I think that this beats mine!

Studyunder · 05/08/2025 23:45

AlphaApple · 05/08/2025 17:39

For a good neighbour/friend it wouldn’t bother me. For a neighbour on nodding acquaintance it’s CF territory and she owes you an enormous thank you, a bottle of wine and some chocolates.

This. First post nails it!

IJWMM · 06/08/2025 00:03

I don’t get the “wouldn’t have known if you hadn’t looked over the fence” comment.

How could you not notice just by looking at your own garden (and seeing what was missing).

Not expecting a rational answer, given there are no replies so far!

LardoBurrows · 06/08/2025 00:12

Bullshit!

Francestein · 06/08/2025 01:07

How did you get it back?

WearyAuldWumman · 06/08/2025 02:00

IJWMM · 06/08/2025 00:03

I don’t get the “wouldn’t have known if you hadn’t looked over the fence” comment.

How could you not notice just by looking at your own garden (and seeing what was missing).

Not expecting a rational answer, given there are no replies so far!

I once thought that there was something wrong with my front garden, but couldn't quite put my finger on it.

Someone had stolen a very large, fully planted and in bloom planter.

MoneyTaIks · 06/08/2025 03:19

Unless you're good friends then this is cheeky af.

Awaywiththegnomes · 06/08/2025 06:04

Flyswats · 05/08/2025 22:13

run a search on my user name if you like

Show quote history

Can’t be arsed

but I’ll presume on your daft post on this thread (I mean seriously… asking if anyone died 😆) that you are precisely the kind to refer to famine victims if anyone mentions feeling upset about not being able to afford a holiday

Awaywiththegnomes · 06/08/2025 06:07

Flyswats · 05/08/2025 22:19

Actually I'm disabled and dying of a chronic disease. I have not "been on holiday" for more than a decade and can't really fathom people getting bent out of shape over such minor infractions. It strikes me as mundane, sad and missing out in life. Also deeply dull.

Show quote history

So anyone in RL have a moan to you about anything less than a serious illness or starvation…. You roll your eyes and shake your head.

AnotherGreyMorning · 06/08/2025 06:27

Even If it isn’t damaged or taken permanently, she trespassed and stole your furniture.

CalicoPusscat · 06/08/2025 07:10

I have to admit that because I'm nosy I would just like to know neighbour brought the furniture back around!

Awaywiththegnomes · 06/08/2025 08:14

Whenever an Op starts a dramatic CF, posts once and then scarpers… safe to assume, it’s all nonsense

PollyBell · 06/08/2025 08:18

Well we cant answer so have you spoken to them directly?

everythingthelighttouches · 06/08/2025 08:53

I can’t fathom this at all.

We’re really good friends with neighbors on both sides. Similar aged kids, who are in and out of eachother’s houses. We regularly have the adults round for bbqs etc.

We have lent eachother variously dining chairs, tables, hoovers, garden furniture, used eachother’s washing machines. All sorts.

Never in a million years would any of us take the other’s garden furniture before asking.

And I can only assume you and your neighbors don’t have eachother’s numbers because otherwise how on Earth did they not message you to ask permission?

Mondaytuesdayhappydays · 06/08/2025 09:01

Awaywiththegnomes · 06/08/2025 08:14

Whenever an Op starts a dramatic CF, posts once and then scarpers… safe to assume, it’s all nonsense

Always…

godmum56 · 06/08/2025 09:04

Dolphinosep0tatoes · 05/08/2025 22:34

Hardly. They broke into the ops garden and took their property without permission = theft. The fact that they hoped not to be caught is neither here nor there.

Show quote history

I think you will find that for it to be theft there has to be 'intent to permanently deprive"