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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be furious that my neighbour ‘borrowed’ my garden furniture for her BBQ?

238 replies

2coolec · 05/08/2025 17:37

Went away for the weekend, came back Monday afternoon to find our patio table, four chairs, and parasol in next door’s garden.

Turns out she’d had a BBQ on Sunday and “thought we wouldn’t mind” if she borrowed them. Was “going to return it”. Only I found out because by Monday evening it was still all sat there and I saw her teenage son and his mates hanging out on my furniture.

No note. No text. Just helped herself. I wouldn’t even have known if I hadn’t looked over the fence.

I’m honestly livid. It’s not a small thing to borrow and she didn’t even ask. What if it had got damaged? Or gone missing?

AIBU to think this is beyond cheeky and actually borderline theft?

OP posts:
AlphaApple · 05/08/2025 17:39

For a good neighbour/friend it wouldn’t bother me. For a neighbour on nodding acquaintance it’s CF territory and she owes you an enormous thank you, a bottle of wine and some chocolates.

FlipFlopShopInHawaii · 05/08/2025 17:40

That's batshit Shock why do people think this sort of stuff is OK these days?

No doubt there'll be some on soon who will come up with a thousand excuses why this is OK 🙄

heldinadream · 05/08/2025 17:41

Agree. Question is what to do about it? Do you usually get on with them? Have you got a shed you can lock the furniture in next time you go away? Just do that. If you haven't, I'd be tempted to put it in the house, again under lock and key.
Bloody people honestly, it's really bloody cheeky and I can't imagine what goes through a person's mind to think it's ok to do that.

Moveoverdarlin · 05/08/2025 17:42

I would be fucking livid. Unbelievably brazen to not even bloody return it in time!

Have you gone and got it back??

Did they just lift it all overhead er the garden fence?

TakeMe2Insanity · 05/08/2025 17:42

Thats shocking!

RaininSummer · 05/08/2025 17:42

Very cheeky if she has never discussed this with you and received an ok.

BlackCatGreyWhiskers · 05/08/2025 17:43

How did she access your garden OP? I think that makes a difference.

Shared/communal garden I would be slightly more relaxed about. But if she’s actually hauled them over a 5/6ft fence and found her own way into your garden that’s definitely out of order.

itsgettingweird · 05/08/2025 17:43

If my neighbour asked I’d be fine with it.

Any of my neighbours borrowing stuff while I’m away and returning it would be fine because we share stuff but would give a cursory tact to check anyway.

Taking your stuff without checking or precedence and not returning it is CF territory.

I bet they thought you’d be away for a week as it’s school holidays and got caught!

Purplecatshopaholic · 05/08/2025 17:43

FFS, that’s out of order. If they were good friends as well as neighbours, fine, but this one is a CF. Make sure you get it all back, and emphasise they are not to do it again. If they do, then I suppose you could call the police, given it’s theft, but doubt you’d get much joy from them. Lock your gate going forward.

BMW6 · 05/08/2025 17:44

So they trespassed into your garden to get it?

I'd be going round there and giving both barrels - and invest in better fencing and secure gates.

Fucking nerve!

Pudmyboy · 05/08/2025 17:44

2coolec · 05/08/2025 17:37

Went away for the weekend, came back Monday afternoon to find our patio table, four chairs, and parasol in next door’s garden.

Turns out she’d had a BBQ on Sunday and “thought we wouldn’t mind” if she borrowed them. Was “going to return it”. Only I found out because by Monday evening it was still all sat there and I saw her teenage son and his mates hanging out on my furniture.

No note. No text. Just helped herself. I wouldn’t even have known if I hadn’t looked over the fence.

I’m honestly livid. It’s not a small thing to borrow and she didn’t even ask. What if it had got damaged? Or gone missing?

AIBU to think this is beyond cheeky and actually borderline theft?

If she 'was going' to return it, why hadn't she done that as a priority? This, to me, shows how she feels about your stuff: no consideration at all.
YANBU.

the80sweregreat · 05/08/2025 17:45

CF’s of the highest order.
No wonder you were annoyed op.
Have they returned it yet ?

MrsMillyFluff · 05/08/2025 17:46

I remember years ago, we were away with dds for the weekend. When we came back our external fence was missing and there was a nice newly built shed in our old neighbours garden!! Yes, they'd nicked our fence.( Bit of a rough area) Their reasoning? " Oh, we thought you were away for a week!" 🤔😂

MounjaroMounjaro · 05/08/2025 17:46

Are you normally in the habit of borrowing each other's things? I'm just wondering how she could possibly justify it.

Get yourself a Ring doorbell so you can see what else she's up to. I doubt this is the first time she's done anything like this.

BlackCatGreyWhiskers · 05/08/2025 17:50

MrsMillyFluff · 05/08/2025 17:46

I remember years ago, we were away with dds for the weekend. When we came back our external fence was missing and there was a nice newly built shed in our old neighbours garden!! Yes, they'd nicked our fence.( Bit of a rough area) Their reasoning? " Oh, we thought you were away for a week!" 🤔😂

What on earth!!!!!!

SeaShellsSanctuary1 · 05/08/2025 17:54

AlphaApple · 05/08/2025 17:39

For a good neighbour/friend it wouldn’t bother me. For a neighbour on nodding acquaintance it’s CF territory and she owes you an enormous thank you, a bottle of wine and some chocolates.

A good neighbour friend would ask or not take it if they hadn't.

A cheeky twat of a neighbour is what the OP had

BerryTwister · 05/08/2025 18:00

AlphaApple · 05/08/2025 17:39

For a good neighbour/friend it wouldn’t bother me. For a neighbour on nodding acquaintance it’s CF territory and she owes you an enormous thank you, a bottle of wine and some chocolates.

If someone came onto my land and took my property I don't think a bottle of wine and box of chocolates would make it all OK.

amylou8 · 05/08/2025 18:03

As long as you're on good terms them helping themselves wouldn't have bothered me at all if I wasn't there to ask. But they should have been returned immediately on Sunday. Still being sat there on Tuesday is taking the piss.

Marianwallace · 05/08/2025 18:04

How on earth did they manage to get it from your garden to theirs ?

outerspacepotato · 05/08/2025 18:05

If they were just borrowing it, why was it still in their yard? It's not borderline, it's blatant theft. They took your stuff without asking and didn't return it

That would be a BIG deal here. Like somebody's getting hurt deal.

Now you know your neighbors are thieves. Tell them don't take your stuff. Lock up your stuff and your garden area.

Therealjudgejudy · 05/08/2025 18:06

That's shocking behaviour on their behalf!

BakingMuffins · 05/08/2025 18:08

Wow! Cheeky fuckers.

Mosaic123 · 05/08/2025 18:08

Not only are they thieves but they are idiots. If they'd given it back you might not have noticed.

Tell them to return it to where they found it ASAP.

Stand in the garden and watch their humiliation.

Tell them if you ever find it's been used by them again you will call the Police.

Jamesblonde2 · 05/08/2025 18:10

Incredibly rude. Just another example of how entitled and shameless some people have become!

TheHandmaidsSnail · 05/08/2025 18:12

What has she said about it?