Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think it's fine for men to drink whilst their partner is pregnant?

104 replies

Beyoungbefoolishbegappy · 04/08/2025 20:01

I honestly don't know if iabu... happy to take opinions! Friend invited a group of us for dinner- all women invited are pregnant and at various stages of pregnancy. When we arrived DH took some beers along for the men and he was told he couldn't drink them because in friends opinion, if she can't drink whilst pregnant he shouldn't either. In inwardly thought this was nuts- I would never tell DH ( within reason - nobody is approaching their due date or anything and her older dd was home who drives if there was an emergency ) he couldn't drink whilst I can't! Haven't discussed this with the other guests since as I don't want to make a big deal of it but I have been thinking about it! Very unsure of what the consensus would be but aibu?

Yabu men shouldn't drink whilst their wives are pregnant if the wives can't- in it together and all that

Yanbu they're not growing a baby so drinking alcohol shouldn't be banned for them

OP posts:
Mustbethat · 06/08/2025 20:00

lilkitten · 06/08/2025 14:42

That seems weird. Reminds me of the thread on here of the woman who said everyone has to have gluten-free because her child has to, rather than have a variant for the person who needs it. I'm lactose-intolerant, I'd feel weird asking everyone else to avoid trifle because I can't have it. Is the pregnant friend alcohol-dependent, and there's actually a deeper issue here?

Edited

To be fair, if the child is coeliac cross contamination could be an issue.

many households with coeliacs will keep gluten free completely if the reaction is severe. It’s not as easy as just varying.

I think in this case if it had just been the friend who was pregnant and not drinking, it’s a bit much. But all the women attending were pregnant, so I do think it’s just respectful for the men not to drink. If they’re “miserable” not drinking as per pp then they can go be miserable somewhere else.

someone else mentioned not asking the partners not to eat blue cheese etc- but if they’re host had decided to serve a Stilton soup, followed by sushi, and given the pregnant women bread and butter because “why should the men miss out”, that would be very rude.

godmum56 · 07/08/2025 09:23

Mustbethat · 06/08/2025 20:00

To be fair, if the child is coeliac cross contamination could be an issue.

many households with coeliacs will keep gluten free completely if the reaction is severe. It’s not as easy as just varying.

I think in this case if it had just been the friend who was pregnant and not drinking, it’s a bit much. But all the women attending were pregnant, so I do think it’s just respectful for the men not to drink. If they’re “miserable” not drinking as per pp then they can go be miserable somewhere else.

someone else mentioned not asking the partners not to eat blue cheese etc- but if they’re host had decided to serve a Stilton soup, followed by sushi, and given the pregnant women bread and butter because “why should the men miss out”, that would be very rude.

Show quote history

Not the same. It would be perfectly ok to offer food the women couldn't eat provided that delicious food that they could eat was also offered. The OP said nothing about the men being "miserable" to not drink or "missing out" just that its a restriction that is controlling and serves no practical purpose.

FrenchandSaunders · 07/08/2025 10:05

Madness and rather rude IMO. When I was pregnant I didn't mind DH having a few in my company, I wouldn't have wanted him to get rat arsed but I certainly didn't expect him to be tee total for 9 months. I was happy to drive places.

I also had a couple of glasses of wine a couple of times a week, this was 25 years ago when the advice was different to now. That advice has only changed due to people seemingly being unable to interpret low quantities ... so it's easier for the advice to be zero.

janj52301 · 08/09/2025 17:01

I've been teetotal for many years DH and anyone else can drink if they want

New posts on this thread. Refresh page