To think my cleaner shouldn’t bring her own child to work?

[Informercera]

I’m really torn on this and would love some outside perspective.

We’ve had the same cleaner for just over a year and she’s been fantastic, reliable, thorough, really kind and trustworthy. We’ve always got on well and I genuinely like her. But over the past few weeks, since the summer holidays started, she’s been bringing her 10 year old daughter with her when she comes to clean.

Her daughter isn’t badly behaved at all. She just sits quietly on the sofa in our living room watching things on an iPad. Sometimes I hear little giggles or the sound of whatever she’s watching, but she’s not running around or causing chaos or anything like that.

Still, I’m finding it awkward. I work from home and I’m usually upstairs on Zoom calls or writing reports, and it just feels a bit strange knowing there’s a child downstairs while her mum is hoovering or mopping the floors. I don’t have children myself and I suppose I’m not used to having someone else’s in my personal space. It changes the dynamic a bit and makes it feel less like a professional service. I also can’t help worrying about the what ifs - what if something broke or she hurt herself? Would I be responsible?

I completely understand that school holidays are a nightmare for working parents and childcare is expensive. I don’t want to be unsympathetic. I haven’t said anything to her yet because I don’t want to come across as precious or unkind. But equally I’m paying for a service and this isn’t what I signed up for.

AIBU to feel uncomfortable about this and consider raising it gently with her? Or should I just let it go for a few more weeks until the holidays are over? I want to be fair but I also feel a bit blindsided. Would love to know what others think.

What planet do you live on? Unless you have a health problem where you trust everyone. I had a family member with this and they would open the door to anyone and give them anything. I’m not in a bubble but in the big wide world not trusting everyone which is normal. Enjoy your day. Praying for you.

I guess people who can't access the childcare they need to work can always just not do so then there'll be less tax to the treasury and less workers available for people to employ to do the things they can't do because they're busy working so many hours?

And by lack of access I don't just mean they can't pay for it, I mean it's not available because it's not at the right times or just not there.

Strikes me as a bit of cooperation wouldn't go a miss in situations like this and seeing past the "But it's unprofessional and I don't like it" and the "OP should be entertaining the child and providing snacks for the poor child", to the root causes being childcare in school holidays is difficult to access, cost is a factor but so is availability.

Then everyone involved can work, there's a bit more in the treasury, and the job gets done.

Of course I pay a decent wage. It's a job that she does like any other job, but one that has its disagreeable side. My comment referred to a poster who complained that the cleaner's child had an ipad, as if she had no right to have one if her mother couldnt pay childcare.. Parents work and make sacrifices for their kids. I find that normal. I had to do the same.

By the way, what is wrong with giving a sympathetic ear to someone who does a great job and makes my life easier. I help her out sometimes too. Do you have a problem with that. Maybe I am a nice person. I dont understand people who employ someone in their private home for years and think of them as "just the cleaner"

You are extremely rude aggressive and obsessed with this thread!

Stop saying people are stupid, stop insinuating that people can’t think for themselves.

I suggest you step back from the thread, stop arguing with a number of people and deal with your “health problem” of being so paranoid and untrusting.

You’re obviously disturbed by your family members, that’s your issue.

Says the person consistently calling people stupid!

My point is that the cleaner should ask first before bringing along their child to their employers place. Simple but apparently complex here. Kindness is good but it’s something that women are generally called upon to be when confronting boundaries being broken. Be kind and nice and shut up. To add in that I’ve heard all sorts from friends who have cleaners - some of whom struggle to pay for cleaning but they need cleaning done - thieving that couldn’t be proved, smoking, leaving their own lunch plates etc in the sink, not cleaning, a party in the garden when a friend was away, breaking things but not saying etc

You are a piece of work. Every comment you have made so far has been to doubt the cleaner. You question how her child has an ipad, you question that she earns a low wage, you doubt her inabiility to pay childcare, you question everything except a drama Queen who is freaking out because a quiet 10 year old sits on her tablet while her mother works and mummy didnt ask first.

Let me tell you something. Summer holidays are a nightmare for many working mothers as the cost of childcare can wipe out your wages and is in short supply. Many mothers do cleaning work to bring in money, not just for basics, but sometimes to be able to buy nice things for their kids. Some work to subsist. All honest work is dignified, and cleaning up other peoples' mess is just as respetable as sitting on your computer working from home. Half the cleaners I have met do not get contracts and national insurance paid by their employers,, although they would jump at the chance. some cant manage self employment.
And the biggy. Good cleaners are hard to find and if find a good one, dont rock the boat. Treat them like workers and not servants. If you expect respect from them, you have to give it.

You’ve forgotten your words about cleaning being a “humble job” Did you pay your cleaner legally and a correct amount? ..you know the one who made “sacrifices” to get her kids school equipment.

Of course. You really are something. Humble does not mean servile, just on the lower end of the pay scale. Wrong word? Maybe, but it doesnt change the facts.

And why are you so sarcastic about people who make sacrifices for their kids. A lot of us have done it. My parents did it, my friends parents did it, I've done it as have many friends. By the way, when younger, I have cleaned houses. I know how some people treat their cleaners.

Would you have brought round your child or a child related to you or a friends child without asking your employer/boss to your cleaning job?
Humble - it’s good that people can read back here if they want to.

I have a disability and have had to have a cleaner for the past few years. I still consider myself privileged.

A good cleaner is hard to find so I wouldn't rock the boat, especially considering the DC will be back to school next month so this is just short term.

Good for you but it's not all about you .

I already said it might have been a poor choice of word, even if you have chosen to ignore that. I dont mind recognizing a poor use of a word. And yes, unfortunately I did have to take my baby to work when I had no alternative, but noone minded. I guess I was just fortunate to have understanding clients and they were just glad I didnt cancel. We seem to live in different worlds

Its not ideal for any of you. And your cleaner obviously has no other option. Totally up to you but finding a great cleaner is harder than sitting out the school holidays. Poor kid. Why not make an effort to be nice to her... you might think differently. I did let a cleaner go who bought a 2 year old with her and the toddler needed supervising constantly. So obviously no cleaning got done. But a kid sitting quietly on the ipad isn't a big deal. Deep breaths and let it happen

Is it short term? It seems to be yet another assumption many posters are making.

Half terms etc will soon be coming up when school starts again. There's nothing to say that she won't turn up with her child again during other school holidays going forward because she hasn't bothered to communicate with OP at all.

Now that she's 10, the cleaner and/or the daughter may be less keen to use childcare or she may even be starting to outgrow it.

So did you ask first?
Absolutely different worlds - that’s true.

I dont remember. It was decades ago. Probably not, but, as I said, I dont rember. Who cares?. Happy?

So what. Why do you care so much? Are you the OPs best chum? What a fuss. The house got cleaned, it was only two hours, not the whole day, and nothing has been broken. Some people are so self rightous.

You think so? There are more jobs than cleaners in many areas, especially in the summer. It might not be the best paid work in the world, but there is a very high demand for good people. It's like any other job, if you want to keep your good staff, you look after them.

It not just a question of what she earns, have you any idea what childcare costs? These people also charge and it's not cheap, - if you can find a place in summer.

Why does anyone care so much to be on this thread? Including yourself. Are you the cleaners best chum?

It's rude and unprofessional to just turn up with a child without asking first.

She seems to have managed in the year she's cleaned for OP up until now, potentially including the last summer holidays too.

I have help because I have a small disability, but I still consider myself privileged to be able to employ someone to clean.