To think my cleaner shouldn’t bring her own child to work?

[Informercera]

I’m really torn on this and would love some outside perspective.

We’ve had the same cleaner for just over a year and she’s been fantastic, reliable, thorough, really kind and trustworthy. We’ve always got on well and I genuinely like her. But over the past few weeks, since the summer holidays started, she’s been bringing her 10 year old daughter with her when she comes to clean.

Her daughter isn’t badly behaved at all. She just sits quietly on the sofa in our living room watching things on an iPad. Sometimes I hear little giggles or the sound of whatever she’s watching, but she’s not running around or causing chaos or anything like that.

Still, I’m finding it awkward. I work from home and I’m usually upstairs on Zoom calls or writing reports, and it just feels a bit strange knowing there’s a child downstairs while her mum is hoovering or mopping the floors. I don’t have children myself and I suppose I’m not used to having someone else’s in my personal space. It changes the dynamic a bit and makes it feel less like a professional service. I also can’t help worrying about the what ifs - what if something broke or she hurt herself? Would I be responsible?

I completely understand that school holidays are a nightmare for working parents and childcare is expensive. I don’t want to be unsympathetic. I haven’t said anything to her yet because I don’t want to come across as precious or unkind. But equally I’m paying for a service and this isn’t what I signed up for.

AIBU to feel uncomfortable about this and consider raising it gently with her? Or should I just let it go for a few more weeks until the holidays are over? I want to be fair but I also feel a bit blindsided. Would love to know what others think.

Exactly this @SouthLondonMum22 The suggestion (that someone made,) that someone very likely bought the ipad for the cleaner's daughter (as she is probably so poor that she cannot afford childcare!) is both laughable, and offensive in equal measures.

And also, anyone who is close enough to a child to buy her an ipad, is close enough to her to look after her whilst her mother is at work! (Particularly in an emergency/in the school holidays, which appears to be the case here.)

And the suggestion that the OP should entertain the child and buy snacks and drinks for her is farcical. Aparting from being incredibly cheeky and presumptuous to say the OP should do that, it's incredibly patronising and 'othering' - suggesting the cleaner can't afford to feed her own child.

As has been said, cleaners earn LOADS, and it's a skilled profession. The way some posters are acting like the cleaner is some kind of charity case is embarrassing and insulting. And the way being a cleaner is portrayed by some posters as a 'humble lowly job' is utterly cringeworthy! Some posters are really showing their ignorance on this thread!

Also, who on earth has been looking after said child for the past YEAR? The cleaner has managed to find childcare all this time... No way should anyone be taking their child to work, especially without ASKING FIRST!

As I said, batshit thread. Parallel world of Mumsnet strikes again! 😬

Yes, no issue with it if child is not in the way and causing a nuisance, it's fine.
Summer hols can be an absolute nightmare for all parents.

I brought up the fact that she seemed to have managed childcare just fine for the past year including potentially a summer holiday but apparently that's an unkind assumption.

I completely agree with you.

Hang on did the Daughter just show up one day. I assume she mentioned it in advance and you had the Op to object well in advance so she could arrange care or reschedule cleans for when she had a carer for her child?

The suggestion (that someone made,) that someone very likely bought the ipad for the cleaner's daughter (as she is probably so poor that she cannot afford childcare!) is both laughable, and offensive in equal measures.

The ipad umis a red herring. Maybe the ckeaner is loaded and bought the latest ipad . Maybe she isnt and got one from Cash Converter / fb market place etc. Who knows

And also, anyone who is close enough to a child to buy her an ipad, is close enough to her to look after her whilst her mother is at work! (Particularly in an emergency/in the school holidays, which appears to be the case here.)
Another daft comment.
Maybe nan and grandad bought it and they are at work/ ill/ live miles away. Again, who knows. Maybe who has bought it is not in her life anymore.

*And the suggestion that the OP should entertain the child and buy snacks and drinks for her is farcical.
I agree with this.

*Aparting from being incredibly cheeky and presumptuous to say the OP should do that, it's incredibly patronising and 'othering' - suggesting the cleaner can't afford to feed her own child. Indeed.

She just turned up with her child and didn't ask in advance.

I was just about to post - years ago, I had a tiler who brought his son to work when I was having my bathroom done.
I think the lad would have been 8 or 9 at the time. He helped his dad in the morning for a while, then I let him play with some of DSs Lego after lunch.

No issues at all.

She should have asked of course OP, but personally I would extend some grace to a quiet and well behaved child of a mother who is clearly doing her best.

Holiday childcare is expensive and doesn’t always open early or late enough to make sense in the kind of role where you are only paid for the hours you are ‘on a job’ and therefore requires a very long disjointed day to pay the bills. I can remember every single one of the managers I have had who have had the generosity of spirit to make it a little easier as I tried to juggle my children and work.

Totally different story if the child was noisy, disruptive or was so young that they inevitably required divided focus.

I would request headphones are bought, but otherwise ‘offer it up’ as my grandfather used to say.

YABU. Don't you think if your cleaner had a viable alternative childcare solution she would be using it?

If you do bring it up with her, you're only going to make it impossible for this woman to continue to work for you over the summer, because her only option will be to stop working for you until her child goes back to school in September. She'll probably find an alternative client who doesn't mind her bringing her (quiet, well behaved, unobtrusive) child with her, and you'll lose your "reliable, kind, trustworthy" cleaner, just because you couldn't grasp how difficult and expensive it is to arrange childcare for the whole of the school holidays. Just leave it, it makes literally no difference to you, but a world of difference to your cleaner.

It seems difficult for you to explain, you can’t.

You”ve decided that because someone might do something you don’t like, make a choice you don’t agree with, that it follows that they’re dishonest in all aspects and will steal, lie etc.

So because this cleaner took her child to work with her without asking, you think she’ll let that child break something and not disclose it, or that her child is likely to be a thief.

Really, all because she took a decision that you think (lots of people disagree) is the wrong one.

Apart from the above being totally judgemental, the chances of accident or theft are vanishingly small,

Anyway, must go, I need to check my cleaners PI insurance, make sure they’re covered in case they self combust in my property setting it alight!

Do you or have you ever had a cleaner? Or are the potential risks to great?

I'm not being ridiculous. I just think it's a small thing that would really make that child's day. Why slate me for that??

You’ve said everything I wanted to say.

And the very least the cleaner should have done is to ASK if she could bring her child along. It’s increasingly rude - and arrogant - to just show up with the child in tow, as if she’s entitled to bring her.

Why not provide entrainment for your imaginary cleaners imaginary child too?

Quite agree.

Ah - you speak about yourself there.
I have explained. My property is my space and if anyone wants to use my property they need to ask me. The op has had her cleaner turn up with her kid unannounced and used the ops sitting room and all without asking. That’s a red flag for me - trust gone. Damage is always a possibility as accidents happen. I’m still waiting to read how a cleaner and a cleaners child are magically protected against accidents. Theft - how do you know that this child or cleaner won’t take something? Hopefully they won’t but my trust in them has gone. As I wrote I have friends who couldn’t prove it was their cleaner who stole from them. I bet that your response would be ..ah bless them, they must have needed it.
I don’t have a cleaner and why is that? Answer is - I don’t need one. It’s quite amazing how the insurance aspect is trashed by you and others. It’s all nice and fluffy and bless them until something is damaged/broken or a physical accident happens.

Not rtft but people with cleaners don’t really have a clue what it’s like for normal people. What the hell is wrong with her bringing her kid. Clean your own mess up if you don’t like it. Can’t stand people who think they’re above cleaning and tidying and make someone else do it for them.

Why? Just let her bring the child. You are so privileged you have no clue what life is like for normal people

The Ops not msking somone else do her cleaning and tidying is she ,it's not like she's dragged the cleaner off the street and demanded she clean for her ,she s hired a professional service and the cleaner is providing that

Why would you assume the Op is privileged?

The cleaner should ask first. How do you know that the poster you refer to is privileged? I suggest you back off attacking her in this manner.

The child is old enough to listen and follow instructions shes shown you that by staying on the sofa and not making any noise to upset you in your home. If you can afford to lose a good cleaner go ahead, childcare is very expensive and a cleaner wont be able to cover the costs and work at the same time. Maybe be more human and see it from that point of view.

Well if you look at cleaners and their children as thieves then it tells a lot about your character just clean your own mess.

If the cleaner can afford to lose clients she can afford childcare .

Exactly.

Trust is the issue here.
Do you clean your own mess up?