To be absolutely furious with my neighbour?

[Smurphy99]

I live in a rented semi detached house. The neighbour attached to me I generally get on quite well with. However there are a few issues that are really starting to grate on me.
Every evening her and her partner smoke weed on their patio, just meters from my back door. In this heat obviously we have the windows open, I have a young child (DD3), and the house is absolutely stinking of cannabis. I hate hate hate the smell and often by the time we have smelt it we don’t have enough time to get all the windows shut before it’s lingering in our house.
As if this wasn’t bad enough, she has now quite spontaneously brought a parrot.
I have nothing against parrots or indeed most birds in general, however she leaves it in its cage 24/7 and every evening for hours opens her back patio doors and pushes its cage out into the garden for it to get some “fresh air”. Queue a CONSTANT, extremely loud, extremely high pitched almost whistle noise from said bird. This goes on and on and on and on. I regularly text her complaining that we need sleep and the bird is driving me insane, to which she does in fairness close the doors. However it’s every night. I don’t know if any of you have a young parrot but the noise is just grating.
There have been various other issues, such as her children loudly playing in the garden at very unsociable hours of the evening, loud arguments between her and her partner and lots of banging noises from the house late at night and early mornings.
I do in general get along with them and don’t want to rock the boat, is there a polite way I can request her to smoke at the bottom of the garden? And for goodness sake get rid of the bird? We do share a landlord and at this point as I listen to the bird shriek AGAIN, I’m considering making a serious complaint. AIBU?

That would drive me crazy too and it’s really selfish smoking the weed right near your wi does. Re the parrot, I like the idea of teaching it some phrases! The ruder the better!

I hear you OP. Cannabis smokers can be quite selfish. I know from personal experience that they typically don't care that the weed stinks up their neighbor's houses. It is also often accompanied with loud music. Talking that them is risky, as some to get aggressive when confronted with their behavior.

How she keeps the parrot is just animal abuse. Parrots are very social and intelligent and need quite a lot of mental stimulation. The constant whistling is probably because it's bored. Leaving it in a cage 24/7 is just cruel. I wouldn't be surprised if plucking its feathers till its bald would be next.

Sorry - but like someone who smokes cannabis is not going to do this! (Get a dry herb vape!) Not gonna happen!

why?? Most cannabis users I know now do not smoke it but vape it instead. You do know that a dry herb vape is designed to vapourise the THC and other compounds in cannabis, as opposed to say oregano, right?!?

I used to be a landlord and experienced several complaints from neighbours about various tenants. One was about smoking weed. The neighbours had already had the police out 7 times due to people talking loudly in the garden and drug use. Since they were all before 10pm and the police found no drugs there wasn't much I could do. The police told them to stop calling. As a landlord you don't know who's telling the truth and you need evidence to get a court eviction.

I've also had several cases of noise complaints. The local council deals with this. They ask you to keep a diary and in my area used to provide recording equipment. There are reasonable expectations about noise so it has to be persistent, above a certain volume and is considered worse outside certain hours. The noise recording equipment records noise from both sides so in my case where the complainant didn't like how my tenants opened/closed the door and car door in the night going too and from work, arguable the noise of their baby wailing and dog barking in the day time was equally as disturbing for someone sleeping through the day after shift work so the council didn't uphold their claim. Getting an official letter from the council about an investigation does rattle some people though and might make them think about the noise level.

Keeping the parrot like this is dreadful but with all these things you will more likely be able to get an improvement by speaking with these people and trying to come to some reasonable agreement. There's few official channels that can really help.

So if cannabis was legalized would that actually make the smell not come into your house or are you being a bit pearl clutchy?

I think you have to pick your issues. If you go to them with everything, they're going to think you're just a PITA fussy neighbour.

For me, the noise would be top of the list. But I can see that maybe for you the dope smell would be worse (whereas I don't mind that smell and if I did I'd just shut the windows on that side of the house at 5pm or whenever they tend to go out to pre-empt the smell). I'd also take an interest in their parrot and buy it the occasional treat, and then when I DID have to ask for her to take it in, she wouldn't think I was antagonistic.

There are probably things your family does that irritate her, but they've chosen to live and let live. Some of the issues, you've just got to grin and bear.

Why is it not reasonable to expect someone to obey the law and not smoke cannabis at all, let alone right by your back door and windows.

Parrots have very sensitive lungs. It probably won't last long, poor thing.

Yes… bagpipes or maybe buy your little one a recorder or tambourine?

Maybe the parrot is getting high off all the weed smoke.

I know a few people with them. They can make a racket but not all the time.

If it is whistling constantly then it probably needs more stuff to do, parrot puzzles etc. They are smart and need entertainment, otherwise their behaviour can become very destructive.

I think these people are never going to be reasonable or considerate neighbours, and speaking with them directly may be more likely to result in an escalation of unpleasant behaviour than anything else.

So personally, I would stay on their good side, make no indication that you have a problem at all, whilst work determinedly but discretely on getting them evicted.

So, make your persistent reports/complaints to the landlord and the council, as anonymously as you can. You could even consider asking a (male) friend or relative whom they don't know is associated with you, to have a go at them to throw them off the scent.

Just one possible approach because they're not going to magically stop being antisocial selfish drug users who can't even prioritise their own children after a few conversations.

You’re insufferable this morning 😅
people are allowed to keep pets and smoke weed
maybe move?

If you've never mentioned the smoking, they'll have no idea it is bothering you. (I say this because people who keep a bird in those conditions probably aren't naturally socially aware and empathetic.)

It doesn't have to be a confrontation. You say that they respond when you complain about the bird, so they might be willing to move further down the garden when smoking.

The parrot is harder. What a sad life for the poor creature, but probably not much you can do apart from reporting the issue to environmental health as a nuisance noise complaint.

Also expecting someone to smoke a cigarette at the end of their garden? Bonkers. I always say if you’re that fussy you need to buy a large detached house. You can’t afford it? Suck it up I guess ☺️

Maybe just approach on the smoking issue? So just say "hey non, would you mind terribly smoking down the bottom of the garden in summer, just the smell wafts into our house when the windows are open. Is tht OK? Thanks"

In a sort of cheery, by the way, manner. If she responds reasonably then job done. If she says mind your business or whatnot then at least you've done it nicely. As really theres not a lot you can do I think if you want to keep relations reasonable

Well, nothing will happen unless you speak to them. And going to the LL before you’ve even done that feels like a bit of a dick move.

Yes, it’s difficult and horrible. But that’s life.

I'd decide which was bothering me most and approach them about it.
"I hate to be that neighbour, but could you please move further down the garden when you smoke? It comes straight in our windows at the moment." No judgement about them doing it and a completely reasonable request.

Speak to them. There’s no getting around it - it’s not about being confrontational it’s about being an adult.

Absolute nonsense the people saying they can’t do anything about the weed smoking. It’s literally illegal plus it stinks out the house so the landlord would most likely not to be happy about it. And even if the police didn’t catch them in the act if they popped around and smelled it after a report, they would probably have a word with them. I think police is a last resort though.

OP you should in the first instance speak to them about it, make it clear you’re not compromising you or your child’s health or comfort by having to breath in their drugs so they’ll have to do it elsewhere.

Say politely but firmly that it has to stop and you are speaking to them first as you don’t want to involve the landlord at this stage.

With the parrot thing it’ll probably have to be down to their discretion unless they’re breaking some kind of rules. Hopefully they will see reason.

There was weed smoking in my building supposedly (I didn’t smell it myself), but a strongly worded letter went round to all residents about it and I’ve heard that the smell has completely stopped now.

When I was younger I lived in a flatshare with two guys and one kept smoking weed in the kitchen/garden and my room was next door. After speaking to him it didn’t stop so I made sure the landlord was aware. It stopped immediately!

You need to complain to the landlord and keep things simple, no listing general children's noise or banging. Mention two things; the smell of weed and noise from the parrot.

I can't believe anyone loves the smell of modern cannabis. In the old days it just smelt like cannabis - distinctive but not disgusting. The modern stuff smells of cat piss.

Quoted the wrong post

That wouldn't be affecting YOU though would it, like the stench of cannabis?!

🙄

I’ve got the same problem and asked a policeman I know for advice. He said call the police or report to crime stoppers - tell them you think they’re growing it there and have seen them carrying stuff in etc. they will raid the place within a week and if they find weed (which I’m sure they will, even if not really growing it) then they’ll have broken their tenancy agreement and will have to vacate.

You won’t get any sense from them if you try to address the smoking, in my experience cannabis smokers are NEVER WRONG and will only lecture you about the dangers of alcohol.

please go and get the bird away from them, it is cruel to keep a parrot in its cage with no toys or interaction. Please call a rescue centre or some before the poor thing dies of a broken heart