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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be shocked about this?

122 replies

Primrosevalley · 02/08/2025 11:43

My friend just said that they went on a coach trip to wales yesterday with her children. One of which has had chicken pox since Tuesday, so only a few days before. She said she’s not all scabbed over either. To me, I’m quite shocked they would do this, especially as these coach trips tend to have older people on them, maybe babies/pregnant people.

OP posts:
Rosscameasdoody · 03/08/2025 19:44

FullOfMomsense · 02/08/2025 12:09

People still socialise with covid, I'm sadly not surprised by this selfish behaviour anymore. I bet your friend would've gone ballistic if they saw someone else with active chickenpox, or if her child caught it while there.

To be fair, there’s no facility to test for Covid any more, or to report it. So unless you’ve had it before and recognise the symptoms you wouldn’t necessarily think of it being something other than a cold. Not so with chickenpox.

Rosscameasdoody · 03/08/2025 19:46

endofthelinefinally · 03/08/2025 18:38

Or get vaccinated against chickenpox.

Yep, this. It provides protection against chickenpox and a high level of protection against shingles.

Brickinthewa11 · 03/08/2025 19:55

Rosscameasdoody · 03/08/2025 19:44

To be fair, there’s no facility to test for Covid any more, or to report it. So unless you’ve had it before and recognise the symptoms you wouldn’t necessarily think of it being something other than a cold. Not so with chickenpox.

They sell tests for covid in loads of places though - chemists, supermarkets, Amazon etc.

Rosscameasdoody · 03/08/2025 19:57

Brickinthewa11 · 03/08/2025 19:55

They sell tests for covid in loads of places though - chemists, supermarkets, Amazon etc.

Yes, but many people don’t want to pay for them, and there’s no requirement to report or even isolate. And very many employers now require you to come to work unless you’re incapacitated by Covid, so not really the same as chickenpox, which is pretty self evident.

Movinghouseatlast · 03/08/2025 19:58

PluckyChancer · 03/08/2025 17:47

Why are you trying to minimise some people’s shitty selfish behaviour?

Even if you had chicken pox as a child, it doesn’t make you immune to catching it again and it could turn into shingles, which is very nasty indeed!

I had chicken pox as a teenager and my dad caught it off me and really suffered with shingles. He’d had chicken pox as a kid but it didn’t prevent him getting shingles.

Not every older person has children either. Two of my siblings in their 70’s don’t have children.

You can't catch shingles. Shingles is a dormant virus from when a person had chicken pox. It lies dormant in the spine then pops out at a random Time. It's hideous but you don't get it from someone with chicken pox. You can only catch chicken pox from someone with chicken pox, not shingles.

PickledOlives · 03/08/2025 20:04

I wouldn't take a sick child on the bus myself. But if you read on NHS website you can not catch shingles from chickenpox, just thought its important for people to know. A lot of missinformation on this thread about the illness.

CaptainMyCaptain · 03/08/2025 20:08

Kimmeridge · 03/08/2025 17:43

To me, I’m quite shocked they would do this, especially as these coach trips tend to have older people on them, maybe babies/pregnant people

Pregnant people??? Wtf

If someone is pregnant theyre a woman.

Women are also people. You are trying to derail the thread.

dynamiccactus · 03/08/2025 20:08

Justthethingsthatyoudointhisgarden · 03/08/2025 17:56

Erm, they can get shingles

Not directly from someone with chicken pox.

You have the virus in you already and something triggers it.

Of course you might get to 50 without having chicken pox, then you catch it from someone who should arguably have stayed at home and then you have shingles on repeat from the age of 70 or until you are allowed to be vaccinated against shingles as the NHS has some very odd age restrictions on it. But you don't get shingles there and then.

Tinytigertail · 03/08/2025 20:10

Annoyeddd · 03/08/2025 17:37

Most older people will have had chickenpox either as children or from their own children so they need not be a worry to you.

You can get chicken pox more than once. I've had it twice, my DD 3 times. There is also the worry of Shingles in older people.

lifeonmars100 · 03/08/2025 20:10

Notmyreality · 03/08/2025 17:38

Yes I wouldn’t take a coach trip to Wales either.

Is it the method of transport or the destination you object to or both?

huffdragon · 03/08/2025 20:24

Womblingmerrily · 03/08/2025 18:04

No I'm not missing the point

Most adults will have had chickenpox and be immune.

Are you talking about the vanishingly small number of older adults who have never had chicken pox and have not chosen to get a chicken pox vaccination either?

I’m immunosuppressed, as are many people of all ages, so it can be dangerous for me.

Tulipvase · 03/08/2025 20:25

Tinytigertail · 03/08/2025 20:10

You can get chicken pox more than once. I've had it twice, my DD 3 times. There is also the worry of Shingles in older people.

That is really incredibly rare. It is possible to get CP again, especially if it was particularly mild the first time. And as has been explained about a million times on this thread, you can’t catch shingles. So there is no worry about older people and shingles, not in this case any way.

Tinytigertail · 03/08/2025 20:30

Tulipvase · 03/08/2025 20:25

That is really incredibly rare. It is possible to get CP again, especially if it was particularly mild the first time. And as has been explained about a million times on this thread, you can’t catch shingles. So there is no worry about older people and shingles, not in this case any way.

Rare but not impossible, so it's still inconsiderate. I stand corrected re shingles and hands up for not RTWT!

Rosscameasdoody · 03/08/2025 20:34

dynamiccactus · 03/08/2025 20:08

Not directly from someone with chicken pox.

You have the virus in you already and something triggers it.

Of course you might get to 50 without having chicken pox, then you catch it from someone who should arguably have stayed at home and then you have shingles on repeat from the age of 70 or until you are allowed to be vaccinated against shingles as the NHS has some very odd age restrictions on it. But you don't get shingles there and then.

Edited

Agree you can’t catch shingles from someone who already has it, but you can catch chickenpox from someone with shingles if you haven't had chickenpox or the chickenpox vaccine before. Shingles is a reactivation of the varicella-zoster virus, which also causes chickenpox.

Rosscameasdoody · 03/08/2025 20:37

Tulipvase · 03/08/2025 20:25

That is really incredibly rare. It is possible to get CP again, especially if it was particularly mild the first time. And as has been explained about a million times on this thread, you can’t catch shingles. So there is no worry about older people and shingles, not in this case any way.

But if you haven’t had chickenpox or been vaccinated, you can catch it from someone with shingles. And if you’re older when this happens, then you’re at increased risk of shingles.

Rosscameasdoody · 03/08/2025 20:39

dynamiccactus · 03/08/2025 20:08

Not directly from someone with chicken pox.

You have the virus in you already and something triggers it.

Of course you might get to 50 without having chicken pox, then you catch it from someone who should arguably have stayed at home and then you have shingles on repeat from the age of 70 or until you are allowed to be vaccinated against shingles as the NHS has some very odd age restrictions on it. But you don't get shingles there and then.

Edited

You can get it the other way round though. You can catch chickenpox from someone with shingles.

Rosscameasdoody · 03/08/2025 20:41

Womblingmerrily · 03/08/2025 18:04

No I'm not missing the point

Most adults will have had chickenpox and be immune.

Are you talking about the vanishingly small number of older adults who have never had chicken pox and have not chosen to get a chicken pox vaccination either?

Many of us can’t have the chickenpox vaccine because we have an autoimmune condition or are being treated for certain cancers, which precludes live vaccines.

ClearFruit · 03/08/2025 20:42

She's a prick. And yeah, it's pregnant WOMEN.

Tortielady · 03/08/2025 20:47

What your friend did was unconscionable. It's true that chicken-pox may be transmissible before the spots appear and before you know you/your child have it, but that doesn't mean it's OK to traipse onto a crowded bus with an active case of it. Once you know you or someone in your household has CP, you should isolate until all the spots have dried up.

As pps have said, you can't get shingles from someone with CP; but one way to not get shingles is to avoid having CP. Of course, accidental transmission occurs. I went into hospital when I was five and came home with CP, to the enormous detriment of my household. This was in the late 60s/early 70s when not nearly as much was known about CP and its complications, including the connection with shingles. We now also know that CP can be serious in its own right, especially for older adults, pregnant women and anyone who is immunocompromised.

Why in the name of reason would you put other people in harm's way if you could avoid it?

TorroFerney · 03/08/2025 20:50

Hotdays · 03/08/2025 17:55

Why, unless you have a genuine good reason that comment is borderline racism

Madonna in Wales.

Tulipvase · 03/08/2025 20:54

Rosscameasdoody · 03/08/2025 20:37

But if you haven’t had chickenpox or been vaccinated, you can catch it from someone with shingles. And if you’re older when this happens, then you’re at increased risk of shingles.

Is that actually a thing? That the older you are when you have chickenpox, your chance of getting shingles increases?

MistressThere · 03/08/2025 20:54

Panterusblackish · 03/08/2025 17:35

I'm old.

I've never had chickenpox. If I get it, I could be very ill.

I still wear a mask when I have a cold, a habit I picked up since covid to stop others getting infected. It's not hard to think about the greater good.

She's a selfish irresponsible cunt of a person.

Are you able to be vaccinated? Boots offer this, I’ve vaccinated both my DDs and it was a really easy thing to do.

Rosscameasdoody · 03/08/2025 20:57

Tulipvase · 03/08/2025 20:54

Is that actually a thing? That the older you are when you have chickenpox, your chance of getting shingles increases?

The risk of chickenpox increases after age 50 and there’s some research to suggest that the risk is more if you contract chickenpox for the first time in later life. Chickenpox is a live vaccine and some people with autoimmune conditions or having cancer treatment can’t have it. I’m old enough to remember that before vaccines parents used to hold chickenpox parties so as many kids would catch it as possible to get it over with early and reduce the risk.

Tulipvase · 03/08/2025 21:03

Rosscameasdoody · 03/08/2025 20:57

The risk of chickenpox increases after age 50 and there’s some research to suggest that the risk is more if you contract chickenpox for the first time in later life. Chickenpox is a live vaccine and some people with autoimmune conditions or having cancer treatment can’t have it. I’m old enough to remember that before vaccines parents used to hold chickenpox parties so as many kids would catch it as possible to get it over with early and reduce the risk.

Edited

I’ve not looked carefully but a quick Google suggests that actually getting CP later in life can temporarily reduce the risk of getting shingles as the antibodies are stronger and therefore the immune response is stronger.

But I’m not suggesting it is right to knowingly take someone with active CP, on a coach or else where. Even though as has also been posted, that you are more contagious before you know you have it.

softlyfallsthesnow · 03/08/2025 21:07

Get children vaccinated if you can. The NHS is dragging its feet despite the JCV recommending it be added, as it is in many countries. Why would you want your child to have an entirely preventable illness? It can be very serious occasionally.
I got CP at 33 from DS who then gave it to me and toddler DS2 - before the vaccine was available. It was hideous- never felt so ill and still have some scars. When a chickenpox outbreak happened at DS's Infant school I asked my GP if there was a risk I could get it again. He said if you've had it properly, you don't get it again. I didn't. Nor did both DSs.

Very selfish / stupid to take the child out in OP's case.