To expect a parent knows what clothes belong to their child

[Hocuspoc]

It's a nursery situation...
While I understand it is possible that staff mixes up kids clothes and perhaps puts my DS dirty onesy in another child's backpack, what I don't understand are the parents that keep the clothes that doesn't belong to them.
We lost a couple of cute pieces over the course of 2 months - never re-appeared in the nursery. What really surprised me is this: I found another kid's jumper in our bag, and I knew who it was because it is cute and I remembered seeing it. I am 100 percent sure. I texted the mother saying hey - got your jumper will bring it back tomorrow. She responded that she doesn't know if that belongs to them, it might (?!) and also - 'it doesn't really matter, she is never sure if what she finds in the backpack is theirs ha ha'

Am i too attached to DS clothes, do people actually don't care at all?
I felt kind of silly...I actually put together outfits for my little one - palmface.

I bought cheap polos and trousers/shorts for DS for nursery. I never sent him in anything "nice". I expected him to come home dirty and covered in paint, and he often did.

So I would have known immediately if it was his or not.

Same...I don't send him in expensive clothes, it is clothes for nursery - but still, I know what belongs to him. And cheap clothes can be cute too.

Also some things like a jacket or shoes are not always super cheap.

My mother in law sent me boxes and boxes of lovingly washed and ironed boot-sale/ second hand clothes for my dc1 (her first nuch hoped for grandchild, and we lived in different countries). I definitely could have sent spare clothes to nursery and forgotten whether they were ours or not missed them if they were mistakenly used for another child if they weren't used for a while.

Do you label your kids clothes, OP?

The curse of the nursery lol I’ve had other kids stuff sent home twice, washed and returned with a ‘This isn’t his’ so easy to do but I’ve lost so many items, gloves and hats being the worst I do label what I can. I totally agree with you, surely they know if it’s the wrong size or not something they’ve put on their child when sent in!

Yep it is bizarre. We had this with a pair of DS’s shoes at nursery - labelled, and the parent “kept them on her doormat for months because she didn’t know who Alex Smith was” - well no, but you do know that it isn’t your child don’t you, so bring them back to nursery.

I had made posts on the WhatsApp group asking if anyone had seen them (because he lost three pairs in one week, it was getting extortionate to replace them). She was class rep, so must have seen the pictures. I’m still irritated five years later!

Yeah I’d have known if my dc back with/ in the right clothes at that age. And I’d have known if something was not theirs - often that might turn out to be a nursery spare but I’d always return it.

I always knew what stuff my DC had and also what had gone missing. I didn't understand how other parents couldn't keep track or return stuff that didn't belong to them. I'd never dream of keeping someone else's things. I didn't have much money when ds was little and having to replace things like shoes and waterproof suits that went missing at nursery was a real pain as I hadn't planned for the cost. Sometimes after one wear we'd never see things again.

It didn't improve much at primary school either, in fact even worse when they're all in similar uniform. Ds lost a £70 Nike jumper on non-uniform day (Xmas gift he'd specifically asked for), it never turned up, convinced someone pinched it.

My dd is in preschool and no, I don't always remember what is hers. I am lucky and get given bags of clothes from friends and won't necessarily memorise it all, especially if something has gone straight into her bag and stayed there a few weeks. I know we have some of their clothes here, and I know some of hers is there and we won't get it back but I couldn't care less. It'll be grown out of soon enough anyway. Having spoken to the other parents we're all in a similar boat!

I often wonder the same thing! Same with any item. And everything we have is named. I think some parents are just completely disengaged.

My DC accidenly left a hoody at a school playground where they were playing (doesn't go to the school), I emailed the school office with a picture and description. She was so delighted when I went to collect it, she said parents never bother and it's such a waste as they have so much lost property

Nope it’s weird. I might not notice if her spare clothes have gone out of the bag for a few weeks, but I definitely know what’s hers and what isn’t.
Do parents not label their children’s clothes?

So annoying! DS lost a brand new rugby shirt ( reversible and the second most expensive item of uniform) at ore season training in year 9. Searched high and low. Nothing. Bought another one.
it surfaced THREE YEARS later, in perfect mint condition. Just left on the bench where he had been changing!

I usually know what clothes belong to my DC. They are all labelled as well. I'm a primary school teacher and every year I have to tell parents to label their kids' clothes. No, they do not know what belongs to them. They will swear blind that they've never seen a certain item before,...ever,...in their life...no way is it theirs...until I can show them that their name is in it.
DC2 sometimes comes home in nursery spares. They are labelled "nursery", get washed and returned. Same as I would return any other items.

I know all of my dc's clothes but my DH does not.
Fortunately our nursery are really good with clothes.

Everything we have is named so it would really annoy me when things got lost. I also knew what wasn’t ours as it wasn’t named!

Nametapes. Preferably embroidered ones sewn in firmly (machine sewing is best) where they are easily seen. The stamped/printed/stick-ons are pretty useless. I don't know why nobody seems to do this any more. When I was at school we had clothing inspections and if items weren't named a note was sent home. When DGS started school I asked if mum had marked his uniform and she just looked at me blankly, then wondered why all his stuff constantly went missing and couldn't be identified.

Some parents just happily steal other children’s items. I mark my children’s expensive school cardigans with black sharpie now so no one wants to steal them.

Sometimes parents keep them because they are just awful people! First day of year 1, my DCs brand new school logo'd jumper went missing - it had his name label stuck in it in 2 different places. Never got it back, chatting with other parents & this wasnt the first time it had happened. It's most likely another kid took it home by accident & their parents kept it as it was brand new. Some adults are just awful.

I’m with you op. I know my son’s clothes and would know if something came home that wasn’t his. I’d just hand it back in.

We lost a few school jumpers and even coats with names in !!

My dc nursery uses a uniform. Much much prefer this. I wouldn’t remember what another child wore.

I know my kids clothes but I don't check their bags properly every day so it might be a while before I noticed if someone else's clothes were in there 😬 I do return stowaway clothes, etc as soon as I do eventually notice them.
I love picking out cute bits for my kids and dressing them up but I know stuff they wear to nursery or school might het ruined or lost and dress them with that in mind

Couldn't tell you what's in my daughter's school bag im lucky to get given spare things off friends children as they grow and often that stuff is nursery stuff and goes straight in the bag.

I've no idea. Two same sex children very close in age with many slightly older same sex cousins who pass tons of high quality stuff down (get a new bag of hand me downs from somewhere in the family every couple of months) so I hardly ever buy stuff new for them and don't feel much 'ownership' of what we have.

If something went missing I wouldn't notice.

Everyone's different!

I used to know a mum who would get excited when lost property was put out on tables in the playground on the last day of term, she called it uniform shopping. Most people called it stealing. And before anyone jumps on me, she was in no way struggling financially, just hated spending money on her DS.