To think most men wouldn’t survive a year living the life of an average woman?

[ThatRealLimeBee]

The daily grind of sexism, safety worries, juggling expectations, emotional labour… Most men have no idea. AIBU to think they’d crumble under the load if they had to swap lives with us for a year?

You make a lot of assumptions. You have no idea:

• If the woman paid off the mortgage whilst working before leaving her job.
• If the woman has inheritance money from her own family.
• If either has won the lottery.
• If the woman has alternative means of income, eg hosting language students.
• If either has received compensation from an injury, court settlement, etc.

People are different. Many women refuse to burn themselves out rushing through their lives. Funnily enough, some people refuse to be ‘busy’ every hour of the day. I loath the modern day competitiveness of who is the busiest. I have literally no desire to engage with it.

You come across as very cross towards housewives on many threads. It may be worth seriously asking yourself why that it is. You won’t change or stop people enjoying the many advantages this lifestyle has to offer. If you are overworked/stressed/too busy, I’d recommend changing that ASAP. It’s bad for your health.

Well if that year involved, pregnancy, giving birth and breastfeeding then I agree!

DH wouldn't do as much cleaning, he wouldnt do much for birthdays or Christmas, he wouldn't make an effort to keep in touch with relatives, and be crap at remembering school events, he'd probably forgot to pay bills on time, or take car for an Mot, and stop most after school or weekend activities- this is all evidenced by experience!
He is very good at prioritising what he wants to do without any guilt, whereas I tend to put family responsibilities first.
I think he'd pare everything down to basics and not even attempt to juggle or take on the full mental load that I I'd do.

I’m not “very cross” at housewives specifically.

I’m “very cross” at anyone who appears to still live in the past, and uses phrases like “diligent housewife” and “domestic haven” whilst condescending the rest of us about how much allegedly “better” their lives are.

To be clear, I’m cross about that because it’s a level of patriarchal brainwashing, and lack of both ambition and independence that I cannot get on board with.

You’re taking the rest of us back over with you. This isn’t the 1950’s - it’s 2025. Wake up.

Finally - thanks for your concern, but I’m as busy as I’m happy to be. I have a 50/50 household, in all respects, and I’m not beheld to anyone for that, particularly not a man. What I have, I either earned or contributed to, by working, and there’s a pride in that not engaging with the modern world (in your 30’s 😂😂) won’t give you.

I’m very proud of my decisions too. It’s a free choice to be a housewife in 2025, and the past is far superior to modern times in many ways. At least people knew how to hold a conversation, say please and thank you, RSVP, not cancel last minute for flaky reasons, survive without mobile phones, dress properly in public, show a bit of pride in keeping their homes clean and gardens tidy, etc.

We’ll have to agree to disagree. I don’t feel any resentment towards you or your different decisions, so I will wish you a very good and peaceful evening.

why are you so judgemental? What is it to you?

People with that now outdated attitude of yours are part of the reason why SAH dads are looked in such a negative way - because it goes both way. By implying that the SAH partner is inferior in any way, it applies to men too.

I don't care if it's same or different sex marriage. If one is happy to stay home and the other to work full time, no one is superior or getting "free lifestyle" from the other. You don't know the details, you don't know how the arrangements work.

I would think someone in their 30s is young enough to be a bit more open-minded and modern.

What trad-wife bollocks is this 😂

And it’s any of your business/affects your life in any way because…

Was just thinking today what use would a man be to me. I’m in my 50s and separated and people keep asking me would I consider dating and I just think ewww no. I just don’t know any men that would bring value to my life. Sad isn’t it. There must be some surely?? Any men I know are big “man babies” and I just don’t ever want one of those again so I realise how much I pushed down my own personality as well - trying to fit in with his likes and dislikes. Sometimes I wish I was a lesbian. Women just seem a lot more “evolved” ???!!!

If you post it on here, you automatically make it people's business.

you must have such a low self-estime if you think you only exist through your little job, and only having your little 9 to 5 is a valid contribution.

Hopefully when you grow up a bit you will expand your horizons a bit more and realise that there are so many different kind of "ambitions" and independence.

You are the one keeping us behind with your attitude, that's what you are spectacularly missing.

Fair enough to have your own path, but who are you to decide you are superior?
I assure you , you are not, and I don't even know what job you do and how much more or less you are paid compared to me!

Let's be honest, people are only negative about others when they have a problem with their own life.

Telling women (usually women) to be careful and ensure they have some financial independence so they can face anything is normal. Accidents, divorce, death, redundancy, illness.. don't just happen to "someone else" unfortunately.

Ranting that someone is inferior because you don't agree with their lifestyle choice? means you are not so happy with your own and there's a bit of jealousy there 😂

I am quite judgmental of women who still see their home as “their domestic haven,” yes, because that’s the outdated view.

It’s an outdated view that fed into the oppression of women, the belief that their place is in the kitchen. I judge any woman who essentially responds to that with “Yes! I do belong in the kitchen, actually.”

We have thankfully moved forward from that, and I’m not happy to be dragged back into it by trad wives wanting to escape to some fake idyllic past.

To be clear - SAHP, of any sex, isn’t my issue.

My issue is the extremity of that, which this poster is showing by literally saying the past was a better time. It wasn’t a better time for women, it was a better time for men.

Women in their 30’s desiring to be oppressed in the 1950’s is nonsense, and I won’t apologise for seeing it as such.

Trust me, I’m not unhappy that my partner knows how to do his fair share of running the home he lives in.

I’m not unhappy to earn my own money instead of spending his, I’m not unhappy to not do all the admin, and I’m not unhappy that I’m not tied to the kitchen sink.

I would genuinely not be fulfilled by staying at home all day tidying up.

If it’s easier for you to believe otherwise though 🤷🏻‍♀️

Posts like this absolutely smack of misandry.

Oh dear.

I failed.

Absolutely loving and respecting the cleanliness, tidiness, order and harmony of your home is a beautiful thing. I never, ever lived in a dirty home, regardless of whether I was working or at home.

Stacey Solomon is a successful career woman, but she is also an exceptional homemaker. She is extremely domestically talented, and adored by the housewife community. She also shows nothing but respect for full time homemakers.

Mrs Hinch is also much loved by the homemaking community. She is again so domestically talented, and clearly does it for the sheer, intrinsic joy of it, not just the money she makes from it.

I would love to spend a day in either Stacey or Sophie’s homes, I would love to learn more from them. So hugely inspiring!

Anyone who has a home can be inspired to expand their repertoire of home making skills 😊

I think most men wouldn’t make the same choices women make.…..in that scenario there wouldn’t be anyone there pressuring them to make those decisions either!!!!! So I don’t think they’d find themselves stuck between the rock and hard place many many women are.

All I have to say about that is there is a world outside the home. Go find it!

No one lies on their deathbed regaling tales of their hoovering skills 🙄

YOU translate it as oppression, you are confusing your opinion with facts.

Who cares if someone is proud of their "domestic haven" or proud of their baking skills? I am sure the winner of bake-off makes a few bucks in the process 😂

You are not dragged back into anything, YOU are trying to drag us back into a one-fit all and not allowing women to make their own decision.

YOU don't get to decide what "oppression" is. You can turn it around and saying that a man who forces you to work out of the house and earning your keep is the one oppressing you... see how that work?

And my grand-mother never felt once oppressed in the 50s...HTH 😂

if you read the number of threads on MN about women fretting about their house becoming "visitor-ready", I am not so sure... 😂
And we're talking about working women here.

It's not "patriarchy" the problem with so many women, it's their insane need to compete with the Joneses. I rarely hear a man, living alone or single, let alone in a couple, worrying about the dust on their skirting board - and they don't start theads about them

Why do women always jump straight to "they're jealous!" Whenever other women are giving negative views about something? It's so childish! It's like the ten year old girls in playgrounds shouting "he's only mean because he fancies you!"

No, not everyone who disapproves of your choices is jealous of you, most of them do just disapprove.

because what else than jealousy is there?

If not jealous, why being so negative? If you have not some bitterness eating you up, why do you even care?

Happy people are not judgmental and negative.

Not everyone who disapproves of your choices why do you even have an opinion on something that has nothing to do with you, and a stranger you don't know? If Brenda is cooking a hot breakfast for her husband every day, or going to the gym to tone up, or rushing to be at her desk at 6am, it affects you not one little bit 😂 WHY could you possibly "disapprove"? What business is it of yours?

You can't claim that forcing a woman to have independence is oppressing her that's just stupid.

My grandmother tells me horrendous stories of what was normal for women to endure in the 50s and regularly tells me how lucky she was because grandad never hit her and actually asked for her opinion on when they would have children, both of which was rare in those days. You can keep the bloody fifties thanks!

You are absolutely right, men couldn’t give a flying fuck about that shit, and I think that’s brilliant.
Women are dicks such an enormous amount of the time, If they haven’t got something to moan about, they will moan anyway.

forcing a woman to do anything is oppressing, you seem to miss that bit.

So you trying to force women to act the way you think they should act is trying to oppress them. You won't have a chance in hell to succeed, but being so narrow-minded is not helping anyone or defending women in any way.