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Original poster

Please tell me times where you've got the ick with a guy

1000 replies

yeahhhhmate · 31/07/2025 21:07

Lighthearted!! Just that really. I love hearing these

ill start:

went on a date with someone and we played shuffleboard and after every turn of his he would loudly exclaim 'GO ON THE TSG' (his initials) he also did it after random sentences like 'I'll get this drink, YES THE TSG)

another guy would say WOOP WOOP and BOOM after every sentence. He ordered a steak and said to the waiter 'I'm going to have the steak please, well done, (another ick) WOOP WOOP

Another guy we were DTD and he kept thrusting in a complete circular motion and I quite literally dried up and left

another DTD time and the guys top lip and nostrils would spasm / quiver - I could get past that though.

please tell me yours, I could do with a laugh!

OP posts:
Flibberteegibbet · 02/08/2025 20:28

JustSawJohnny · 01/08/2025 11:37

He was like "0"

Masssive pause.

Me - "Yeah"

He looks down

"7"

Me "Yup"

He looks down.

I sigh, loudly.

He looks back up at me. Then down. Again, slowly.

Him - "Are you ready?"

Me - "YES!!"

Him - "Errrr, so you have the 0 and the 7?......."

Me - Considers caving his head in with a heavy bottom vase.

Me - " 07, yes...."

Him - "7"

Me - "Another 7 or the same 7?"

He looks down.

Him - "Another 7.........so you have 2 7's"

WHAT I HAVE IS A FUCKING STROKE.

Me - "077, yes"

He looks down.

I die inside.

Him - "It's another 7"

A pause so long I could've genuinely meal prepped for the week.

Me - "Do I need to say yes after every number?"

Him, looking confused - "....might as well"

When I tell you this phone number is 300 digits long.

Show quote history

Hahaha is he Michael McIntyre?

TryingToRecover · 02/08/2025 20:29

Fallenmadonnawiththebigboobies · 31/07/2025 22:22

Ended a phone call by saying “kisses to your pink parts” … horrors

Dear GOD!!!!!!!!!!! 😆

TaupeMember · 02/08/2025 20:33

oldmanandtheangel · 01/08/2025 01:59

Wandy Wichard also called my bits, 'Mrs Honeypot'. That was the last straw. Or, Stwawwww....

Another Richard (Richard, not Wichard) tied a manky old sock around his dick to keep it hard . I laughed so much he went completely limp and was furious with me. He also stood naked over my face once (how I don't know, as he's 6ft 5) and I looked up and saw bog roll stuck on his arse. I feigned a headache on that occasion.
There was the gorgeous actor/ ex model who gave me the ick when he told me that when he voted Labour, he 'dressed to the left'. Now he was Conservative, you guessed it.. he hoiked it over to the right.

Bloody hell. All of this is comedy gold 😂

Horsie · 02/08/2025 20:34

Daygloboo · 02/08/2025 17:11

😂I remember that. It was usually only one or two dances, then the lights went on and everybody started blinking and seeeing what they had been dancing with ( and also groped by) and quickly headed for the exit.😂

Show quote history

I miss 80s discos with slow dances! They were the best! Lots of close body contact but safe as you were with lots of others, and no chance of getting pregnant!

Rowlinginthedeepanddeeper · 02/08/2025 20:36

Guy, a bit fussy and overly particular in his everyday life at 47, had never married, but I was very prepared to overlook it, as he was actually great in bed until he told me he was going to buy a new car and, excited, told me he'd decided on a Vauxhall Meriva. Instant ick.

Horsie · 02/08/2025 20:41

Why isn't there a laugh emoji?? My finger is itching to give some of these stories a laugh emoji but there isn't one! A thumbs-up just isn't enough for some of these fabulous stories!

LemonLass · 02/08/2025 20:43

This reply has been deleted

Withdrawn at authors request

Erm @Iamasentientoctopus sorry to drop this on you but Human League sang "dont u want me (about working as a waitress in a cocktail bar). Soft Cell sang Tainted Love, Say Hello Goodbye, Bedsitter?

Brendahollowayreconsider · 02/08/2025 20:45

Horsie · 02/08/2025 20:41

Why isn't there a laugh emoji?? My finger is itching to give some of these stories a laugh emoji but there isn't one! A thumbs-up just isn't enough for some of these fabulous stories!

I've been using the heart in it's place.

Horsie · 02/08/2025 20:50

Gotabadfeelingaboutthis · 02/08/2025 08:30

I had one guy (holiday fling) who was getting closer to orgasm and started yelling
"Yes, that's it I'M THE KING, I'M THE KING!" over and over again 🙈

Another one we were at a fancy dress new years eve party and just as I was getting close to orgasm, he stopped completely because "Hang on, I've lost my Bob the builder hat!" (not a euphemism!)

A guy I briefly dated but got the ick before we slept together was lovely, but everytime he stood still, he pointed one foot/toe out to the side like a ballerina 😂 I just couldn't get past it.

Yes!! I dated a guy who had duck feet! They pointed to the sides when he walked instead of straight ahead, and it was such a turn-off! He waddled like a duck!

Zanoni · 02/08/2025 20:51

Second date and I’d invited him to mine, all fine but the next day he called and said.. This is a bit of awkward but I’ve lost a bag of cocaine somewhere in your house.

A different guy, first date was at his for a dinner. When I arrived I knew I’d made a mistake. He had a stool, mic and guitar ready to go.. He sung at me (Jolene, Dolly Parton) t was so awkward.

I’ve saved the best till last, dated this guy for around 3 months, He was gorgeous, so so fit, couldn’t cum at all though. I was determined to fix this and when he finally got there he closed his eyes and shouted…. “That’s it, right there, mmmmm… mum mum mum mum mummy!”
Fuck my life! I’m so glad I’m married and don’t have to deal with this sort of nonsense.

Brendahollowayreconsider · 02/08/2025 20:52

Horsie · 02/08/2025 20:50

Yes!! I dated a guy who had duck feet! They pointed to the sides when he walked instead of straight ahead, and it was such a turn-off! He waddled like a duck!

Edited
Show quote history

Ten to two 🕑 😁

Iamasentientoctopus · 02/08/2025 20:52

This reply has been deleted

Withdrawn at authors request

I meant Human League! Please stop quoting me 🤣

Jackiepumpkinhead · 02/08/2025 20:53

shuggles · 02/08/2025 20:09

It was direct communication. Something to be encouraged.

Show quote history

🙄 god you’re boring and repetitive.

Horsie · 02/08/2025 21:09

Brendahollowayreconsider · 02/08/2025 20:52

Ten to two 🕑 😁

Show quote history

Ugh, yes!!

Horsie · 02/08/2025 21:11

An ex used to look at me meaningfully while still on top of me after sex and say, in a serious tone, "Thank you."

Felt like replying "You're welcome. Just leave the money on the nightstand."

No other man has EVER thanked me after sex, before or since. Luckily they all seem to know that this is REALLY BAD FORM.

Horsie · 02/08/2025 21:13

Another one yelled "Wicked BITCH!" just as he came in me. It felt really nasty and abusive. Total ick. I felt he'd just showed me what kind of man he really was. I've slept with some dirty men but no one has ever done anything like that.

thismummyslife · 02/08/2025 21:19

After a bit of a whirlwind romance via mostly text and emails I went to his flat for the first time, he coughed trying to hide a fart, and nipped into his bedroom to return wearing a flouncy ladies style cardy. At that moment I noticed that his walk was incredibly camp, to my horror I thought ‘oh wow he’s actually gay!’

Well fast forward 14 years later and we are happily married! I chucked the cardy the moment I got the chance once we’d moved in together and he’s grown out of his camp walk. He ditched attempting to hide the farts long ago though 😂

shuggles · 02/08/2025 21:24

Jackiepumpkinhead · 02/08/2025 20:53

🙄 god you’re boring and repetitive.

Show quote history

Boring likely isn't a bad characteristic, judging by the stories of some men on this thread or in the relationships section.

HevenlyMeS · 02/08/2025 21:25

God Bless You Both
Love a happy ending
💚🤗💚

Bluegem7 · 02/08/2025 21:26

My ex used to shout oh my god every time he was about to come

Reduxrabbit · 02/08/2025 21:30

Rowlinginthedeepanddeeper · 02/08/2025 20:36

Guy, a bit fussy and overly particular in his everyday life at 47, had never married, but I was very prepared to overlook it, as he was actually great in bed until he told me he was going to buy a new car and, excited, told me he'd decided on a Vauxhall Meriva. Instant ick.

That’s really funny as my other half was driving a Meriva when we first met and we mutually agreed it meant he was very secure in his masculinity!

Bluegem7 · 02/08/2025 21:36

yeahhhhmate · 31/07/2025 21:07

Lighthearted!! Just that really. I love hearing these

ill start:

went on a date with someone and we played shuffleboard and after every turn of his he would loudly exclaim 'GO ON THE TSG' (his initials) he also did it after random sentences like 'I'll get this drink, YES THE TSG)

another guy would say WOOP WOOP and BOOM after every sentence. He ordered a steak and said to the waiter 'I'm going to have the steak please, well done, (another ick) WOOP WOOP

Another guy we were DTD and he kept thrusting in a complete circular motion and I quite literally dried up and left

another DTD time and the guys top lip and nostrils would spasm / quiver - I could get past that though.

please tell me yours, I could do with a laugh!

One ex used to call sex 'doing the business'. He'd try for ages to get an erection before saying 'its not going to do the business' before rolling off and falling asleep.

Foreverm0re · 02/08/2025 21:41

Men who stick their tongue aggressively in my mouth the first second we ever kiss 🤮 at least work up to it ffs.

The guy who was absolutely silent during sex. Like seriously not a peep. So off putting and kind of creepy.

The guy who would always proclaim he was “gonna spill” before coming 🤢

BySassyGreenPanda · 02/08/2025 21:44

The one who asked me to push his piles back in.....😳

Popettypop · 02/08/2025 21:47

InstantIck2 · 31/07/2025 21:55

“RECEIVE my DI*K” in a high pitched voice, no less.

Show quote history

In our city(Slowly going county wide) there is a FB page dedicated to ' Have You Dated This Guy?' usually with his dating app profile pic.

Started off as is he married got a GF etc but now it is full of stories like this.

It does help to sort the wheat.

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