Please tell me times where you've got the ick with a guy

[yeahhhhmate]

Lighthearted!! Just that really. I love hearing these

ill start:

went on a date with someone and we played shuffleboard and after every turn of his he would loudly exclaim 'GO ON THE TSG' (his initials) he also did it after random sentences like 'I'll get this drink, YES THE TSG)

another guy would say WOOP WOOP and BOOM after every sentence. He ordered a steak and said to the waiter 'I'm going to have the steak please, well done, (another ick) WOOP WOOP

Another guy we were DTD and he kept thrusting in a complete circular motion and I quite literally dried up and left

another DTD time and the guys top lip and nostrils would spasm / quiver - I could get past that though.

please tell me yours, I could do with a laugh!

I was once heading on the train to meet a guy I'd met online but he lived in the next town

We where messaging as I was on the train and he asked what I was wearing

'Skinny jeans,top,leather jacket and ugg boots'

He went mental-he hated uggs and I was never to wear them again

Didn't I know they where chavvy?

Did I know that no fella likes them and no wonder I was single when I had such awful taste in footwear?

The texts came through thick and fast for about 10 minutes-all slagging me off for my choice of footwear

I got to his station,turned around and caught my train home

The only reason I was wearing them is when I was a toddler,I'd put the heel of my foot in my fathers pushbike wheel and sliced my heel to the bone

I still have the scar and every so often,it blisters so badly I can't wear shoes,hence the uggs

No man tells me what I can wear,least of all this twat

Noooo

A guy I dated when I was 19 told me he wanted to marry me and have 5 kids with me - after we’d had four dates!

The guy after that turned out to have weird obsession with the conservative style and “meek behaviour” of Victorian women. Took me a while to realise it was a pervy sex thing. Suffice it to say, I do not own a pair of long gloves and the relationship went no further.

• Brought loads of admittedly very thoughtful small gifts for me to our first date, then asked for a selfie of us both outside the cafe we met in at the end so we could show our grandkids. Agreed to the selfie and ran. No second date.

• Had a weird walk, like his shoulders were trying to meet each other at the front, leaning forward with his head a good 75cm ahead of his feet. Ended it.

• Couldn't figure out how to reel the hose in on my yard. You know those winding hozelock caddies? Completely beyond him. Like a monkey trying to do crochet.

• Didn't have a car on environmental principles, was very judgy about car drivers, made me drive us everywhere.

• This is my worst ick, and unfortunately one my husband gives me - when men are with with their mums and are mothered and revert to a kind of child status. I can't bear it. I don't mean they behave childishly. Just, they are the child in the dynamic (because of course). Super gross.

Dickadvisor?

@Phoebesparrow hope you let him know he wasn’t in charge of your wardrobe, the cheeky sod.

Bought bowling shoes from the bowling alley on our first date. Used bowling shoes.

We've been married 17 years

I've just remembered another thing my ex used to do.
He'd lift one butt cheek to fart. So if he was sitting on the sofa he'd lean to one side a bit, lift the other but cheek up and then fart.
I asked him to stop. He used to do it in public places too. He said it was more comfortable and easier to fart if he did that.

Thrustpilot?

LOOOOL!!!! 😂😂😂😂😂

I hope you texted him that it is no wonder he’s single before blocking him.

One guy had the UGLIEST sex face I’ve ever seen. Like he would scrunch up his eyes, do a big grin and bite his tongue. It sounds bizarre and trust me it WAS bizarre.
He also pissed the bed as he was drunk 🙃🙃

Oooh!! he's lucky you didn't headbutt him! that's creepy

Did he have an important fwend in Wome called Biggus Dickkus ?

I went out with someone for several months before he told me that his name was actually Trevor rather than the 'quite cool' name he was known by. That was it ( tbh there had been other very near-ick moments but I'd told myself that I was just being over fussy).

He got caught stealing from his work and was fired. He said he did it to fund our dates.

I was having amazing first time sex with this guy, I really liked him and things were going well. Sex was amazing.... except, he let a very long and high pitched scream when he came. Instant ick.

OMG - I'm dying here 😂😂😂

😂😂😂😂😂 this has made my day 😂 WTAF?

@Phoebesparrow 'i'll give it a bit of a wipe if you like'

That is the funniest thing I have ever read on this site.

I went on a cinema date once and could hear clunking in his rucksack.
Sat down and he started pulling out beer bottles, even brung a bottle opener with him 😫He must have had about 5 of them and kept burping the whole way through. 😷

New Years Eve. Would I like to watch a video of his wife’s funeral. She’d died 5 years previously.

A friend of mine was chatting to someone on Tinder for a couple of weeks, who was saying all the right things, but laying it on thick about being romantic and knowing how to treat a woman. They met at his for a pre meal drink and he'd laid out a massage table and run her a bath with candles 'because she deserved to be pampered'. Had books about tantric sex lying around too. She scarpered pretty fast. When she'd mentioned it to a colleague at work, it turned out they'd had exactly the same experience with this man but had slept with him on their first date and was promptly dumped when they woke up the next morning.

The guy (ONS) that went downstairs for a wee (my house had a downstairs bathroom) and came back with the wooden kitchen roll holder and a hopeful expression. (He thought it was just the thing to pleasure my vagina with while his dick was in my arse.)

I couldn’t throw him out quick enough.

And my friend set me up with her brother. Nice guy, but woke up to him watching me sleep, and when I asked what he was doing he said “trying to work out what our children would look like”.

NEXT!