To think this behaviour can be seen a bit rude?

[Ffghdss]

We are from an Indian family and DS has a name that often goes mispronounced. It never really bothered him. In sixth form the school opens up to externals and becomes mixed so there's new people to meet.

In class his table were chatting and DS said something around the lines "well this is actually how my name is pronounced". One (white) girl on the table found this absolutely hilarious and made attempts to pronounce DS's name correctly. She pronounces it like 3/4 correctly and makes a genuine attempt. I don't think that's an issue and think it's nice.

But DS told me that the first time she attempted to say his name she burst into a fit of giggles. DS tells me now every time she says his name she'll laugh a bit and giggle to herself. DS personally doesn't mind as he's got a crush on her.

It was just that he was telling me about her and how she's one of the few people that make an attempt to actually say it's name how it's actually pronounced. But it's just for some reason she finds it "funny" and laughs after saying his name.

When DH and I moved to the UK we didn't let people say our names in a different way just so it was easier for others to pronounce. I don't like the idea of this person thinking DS's name is a "funny foreign name".

Of course it's rude. I can't believe some kf the responses on here defending the girl. Disgusting.

Nearly 100 posts defending and sympathising with a 16 year old mispronouncing a “foreign” name every time she says it, and laughing every time. I’d love to see what the response would be to a MIL doing the same with a slightly unusual baby name.

It’s undoubtedly rude to laugh and comes from a place of self-consciousness but primarily ignorance I think of other languages and cultures.

This.
It does sound like she knows the importance of trying to pronounce it, but struggles. It's perhaps partly even a nervous laugh, as she wants to get it correct.

That’s weird. I’m the queen of struggling with names, despite every effort to get them right.

I have terrible trouble with names where the second name can also function as first name. Usually men, for patriarchal reasons!

Mr David John for instance. Gary Stephens.

I get them the wrong way round, or at least struggle to remember which way.

I would have the same issue with names from a different culture if I weren’t familiar with them already. I would struggle with ordering them.

But not in your case as your first name is a familiar western name. So I don’t know why that would be hard.

I have an unusual name. People usually mispronounce it before they know what it is. It’s easy to say though, once you do know. Though even when you know, spelling it is an issue 🤣

How are you so sure what place it comes from?

Could be a nervous reaction type thing, given the girl's age. However, I can see why this would be annoying and upsetting to you. I have an unusual surname which is constantly mispronounced and it can grate.

^^ exactly!
but because it’s about race potentially you will get the usual mob out like on the other thread about race.
i have a difficult name to say, if you’ve not heard it before, im not bothered if it’s pronounced wrongly a few times but if you laugh at my name I would consider this rude.

People are responding from their own experience and motivation. If they giggled at a mispronounced name, it would be out of self consciousness.

That isn’t my stress reaction. I’d feel hot and bothered and potentially end up avoiding using their name- which is also really unhelpful and othering.

But people who are interpreting her response innocently are doing so because they wouldn’t maliciously laugh at someone’s name. That’s all.

I feel saying it almost correctly (if that's the best she can do) is commendable...

I don't see the need to giggle/laugh every single time.

OP never said it was!

OP is literally asking if it is a bit rude and it is!

Her trying doesn’t negate from the fact she is giggling every time she says his name which makes it rude regardless of her intent and reason for giggling.

She is going to learn the hard way if she continues this behaviour when she gets into the workforce because others would not be so lax about it and she could find herself in trouble.

Not surprised by the comments when the name threads on here are rude about any name that is a bit different from the norm even if it is easy to say.

My name is a name that is mispronounced by 90% of people. My parents are from a country where it's pronounced one way, so I grew up with my family pronouncing it that way, but in the UK practically everyone pronounces it a different way. It's a bit like
Mi-chelle/Mee-chelle, or Sarah/Sara.

It used to really annoy/embarrass me as a kid, especially as when I would try to explain how it should be pronounced, people would often look bewildered or just laugh, and continue to pronounce it incorrectly. Even just a few years ago, I was with my young dd and met a lady. When I told her my name, she laughed, looked at my daughter and said "Silly mummy! She's saying she's called Mee-chelle, but it's Mi-chelle!" (Not my real name, but an example!)

So I do agree, people can come across rude about these things! I don't know what the answer is though, but I know it can be really annoying!

MN is racist to the core though, so it's not really surprising sadly 😒

I don't giggle after saying a Western name. I might find a Chinese name for example different. But I make my best attempt and don't feel the need to laugh after

Yep, there is often a double standard. I have colleagues called Phillip and Thomas and Andrew and Victoria they expect people to remember whether they prefer to be called their full names or Phil, Tom, Andy and Vicki.

Yet they get non-British names wrong all the time and don’t even correct themselves. It’s just expected that they can’t be expected to get foreign names right.

Exactly, anyone laughing at a name is just being rude. The people trying to justify it here is just disgusting

Maybe she has a crush on him? She sounds nervous. Your son doesn't seem bothered. Would be an unusually immature 17 year old to laugh at a name.
I have a Scottish name and unless you can pronounce loch correctly you probably couldn't pronounce my name, like most customer service people I deal with. Its no big deal, to be expected in a multicultural society really. I gave my son a very short, impossible to mispronounce, name to avoid the hassle of having to spell his name out a gazillion times like I have.

She doesn't have a crush on him! She turned him down!

DS probably doesn't think too much about it because he's smitten with her, but that doesn't mean it's okay for her to laugh at his name.

You don't have to mock it, that's quite different. I'm also assuming OP was born elsewhere and didn't expect that when naming her child. I absolutely cringe when I see someone named a name to conform, yesterday I met someone called Rachel who was most definitely NOT a Rachel. It's embarrassing seeing all these older immigrants called George, Jimmy etc because everyone was too thick, ignorant and lazy to even try to pronounce their names. I'm glad this is changing, but judging by most of these comments things haven't really changed much.

Was I was born outside of the UK.

It’s racism. Plain and simple. Sorry OP

Honestly without fully understanding the dynamic between them it is hard to judge what’s driving this.

Obviously it’s not an altogether mature way to behave, but they are teenagers and not altogether mature.

I think the fact she knows he has a crush on her is likely very relevant.

Which might be that she’s deliberately courting a reaction from him in a slightly cruel, teasing way.

Or that she is being a bit flirty because she does actually like him (I remember a boy at school asking me out, me saying no then developing a huge crush on him, he never asked me again! Teenagers are stupid!)

Or some kind of flirty-mean hybrid!

Making a big point out of his name being hard to pronounce does have an undercurrent of racism though. It could be being done sweetly and in all innocence but that doesn’t mean it can’t be unintentionally racist.

I feel this as well. I think DS can't see/tell because he has a crush on her and is just happy that's smiling and laughing when she's around him.

It's totally not ok for her to laugh at his name. Ok she has difficulty pronouncing it but that's no excuse to laugh every time, after the first time the laughing has worn thin.

If it is hard to pronounce, or the pronunciation is different to how English speakers would pronounce then he will experience people not being able to pronounce it properly quite a lot. But I wouldn't expect anyone to laugh at it except in embarrassment at their first attempt.

I can't pronounce some Irish surnames properly because I can't make the sounds easily as I speak in a different way but if I say it often enough I can get very close.