To think this behaviour can be seen a bit rude?

[Ffghdss]

We are from an Indian family and DS has a name that often goes mispronounced. It never really bothered him. In sixth form the school opens up to externals and becomes mixed so there's new people to meet.

In class his table were chatting and DS said something around the lines "well this is actually how my name is pronounced". One (white) girl on the table found this absolutely hilarious and made attempts to pronounce DS's name correctly. She pronounces it like 3/4 correctly and makes a genuine attempt. I don't think that's an issue and think it's nice.

But DS told me that the first time she attempted to say his name she burst into a fit of giggles. DS tells me now every time she says his name she'll laugh a bit and giggle to herself. DS personally doesn't mind as he's got a crush on her.

It was just that he was telling me about her and how she's one of the few people that make an attempt to actually say it's name how it's actually pronounced. But it's just for some reason she finds it "funny" and laughs after saying his name.

When DH and I moved to the UK we didn't let people say our names in a different way just so it was easier for others to pronounce. I don't like the idea of this person thinking DS's name is a "funny foreign name".

One of those posts in which the OP is trying so hard to find a reason to be offended that you end up doubting the situation is even as presented. Step back mommy bear, let them be. He probably only mentioned it because he was keen to mention her.

Fair enough

Do you really think it’s OK to continually mispronounce somebody’s name and laugh every single time you do it? I suggest you spend some time on the Baby Name threads!

There's no issue with the way she says DS's name. She's making an attempt and getting around 80% of the way there. DS tells me that every time she says it there's a small giggle/laugh. Every single time.

I think because of DS's crush he just feels happy that she's laughing with (or really at?) him.

Of course there’s an issue! She gets it wrong and laughs every time. On what planet is that not rude?

I meant to say the pronunciation she says is 80% correct.

I just have an issue with the laughter and giggling after.

80% correct is still wrong!

She's listened, she's trying and she probably likes him. She's just awkward.

It sounds to me that the laughing and giggles could stem from a lack of confidence, quite common even in older teenagers, she's aware she hasn't got the pronunciation quite right and she's a bit embarrassed perhaps?

Why do people think she likes him? I've said that DS told me she turned him down.

DS tells me she doesn't just do say "hello" or "hello [DS' name]" she'll purposely go out and say his name and accentuate the pronunciation and giggle after.

My name has a th sound in it, it's very common for non English speakers not to be able to say it, sometimes there might be repeated attempts at the th sound, complete with exaggerated tongue positioning and giggling. There's no malice, it stems from self consciousness and embarrassment.

Absolutely this! It's really common for youngercwomen/girls to giggle when they're embarrassed about trying something

She could be embarrassed at her inability. I teach and always make a big effort to get student names right. But one year I had a man whose name was Mikhael. He kept correcting my pronunciation and got really wound up at me saying it wrong but I genuinely couldn't hear the difference between what he said and what I said. I ended up feeling awkward calling on him in class.

But it might be as close as she can get.

Not everyone is able to correctly pronounce sounds that don’t exist in their first language. Most sensible people realise this and don’t have an issue.

No need to giggle after though?

True, and I think that is rude - I was just commenting on the pronunciation point that a pp made

Not every language in the world uses the Latin alphabet or the same sounds as English. There are sounds in different languages that just don't exist in English which make pronouncing names in those languages nigh on impossible. The English spellings of foreign names are an approximation at best in some cases.

That makes it worse. Regardless, she is being rude.

You can be not intending to be rude and still be rude, however in this case , there is no excuse for such behaviour and doubtful the same pass would be given to a teenage boy.

So the appropriate response is “I’m really sorry-I just can’t make that sound.” rather than giggles.

Mumsnet is FULL of threads castigating people for not being able to pronounce Irish names. Can’t see the difference here….

Would you still have a problem if she wasnt white?

Would you still be defending her if he wasn’t Indian?

I’m not defending her, nor I’m white. There is nothing racist in what op said the girl said. But some people have a problem with everything

So why did you ask the question?

Yes of course.

But I’m pretty sure she wouldn’t be getting such a universally sympathetic response if your son wasn’t brown.