To feel sad about 10 years celibate

[TheGoldFox]

I have been single and celibate since I was 28, I’m not far off 40 now and I feel sad at the prospect of reaching 40 and being celibate for over 10 years, maybe I’m being silly, I have children now so I know life is just suppose to revolve around them. Has anyone spent a long time celibate? Especially people in their 30s? Is it normal to feel sad or Aibu?

I definitely wouldn’t have remained celibate if I had weekends off like other single parents if I had family or an ex around who took the kids it’s just the way things have happened. I don’t resent my kids but I will be glad when they are older and I get some time back to myself.

In all honesty, the vast majority of my life I've been in relationships and hence sexually active. I'm not now and I am definitely not looking for another relationship.

As a woman, sex IS available if you really think you want it. Almost regardless of appearance.

I'd definitely say no sex is better than the wrong (person, quality, frequency etc) sex. By a very, very long way.

I've been single for 7 years now, celibate most of that time, I dated for a bit about 4 years ago and had sex twice in that time.

This is the longest I've been single and the longest without sex since I was 18. I miss it, I miss being in a relationship. But my days of carefree one night stands are over and I'm not really in the right place to date (need to sort myself out as perimenopause hasn't been kind to me).

Just coming back to this for the people that slated me for saying I wouldn't use a sitter well you can leave your kids with sitters if that's what you want but I never would I didn't appreciate being judged for this maybe you trust people with your children but I don't and no it isn't the same as a teacher 🙄 www.thesun.co.uk/news/36312999/babysitter-jailed-paedophile-rape/

That’s like giving a link for a car crash and saying you’ll never drive! Yes that case is absolutely awful but that is not what every childcare provider is like.

Not worth the risk to get your leg over 🤷🏻‍♀️

Gosh this sounds difficult, the longest I was celibate for was 9 months and I’m just not sure how I would feel about it being 10 years at all.

Your situation sounds tricky to navigate and I don’t have any advice, just to say I hope it gets better for you.

@TheGoldFox Isn't celibacy when you choose to not have sex e.g. a vow often for religious reasons?

So you're suffering a spell of abstinence e.g you'd like to get your leg over but don't have the opportunity at the moment.

If you wanted a relationship you'd find a way. Your oldest will soon be able to babysit or find someone local with a trustworthy older teenager.

Yes whichever you want to call it but everyone I've seen refers to it as celibacy so 🤷🏻‍♀️ my oldest won't be babysitting any time soon he isn't mature enough so I would be looking at another 3 years possibly or more..