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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Son accused of theft

97 replies

Puppydogtail · 30/07/2025 21:01

Just a bit of advice needed. My son and his friend both 15. Both are quiet and very well behaved. Not just saying that as I’m his parent.

Both boys went to the cinema and shopping yesterday. Son and his friend stupidly played hide and seek in a sports shop. I know I know, silly behaviour.
Next min a security guard came up and took them to the side and said they had evidence on camera of them steeling. There was security tags found in the changing rooms. He was horrible to my son and friend and checked through there bags. My son asked to see the video evidence and was told he can’t see it.

next thing they were being escorted out the building and told they are banned. They asked how long for and the security said he’ll need to speak to the manager.

my son was shaken and still is from yesterday. What should I do? My son wouldn’t say boo to a goose he’s so quiet and shy. There is no way on earth he would steal. Obviously it’s mistaken identity. So how can they Barr him if it wasn’t him. What are my next steps. Thanks

OP posts:
BellissimoGecko · 30/07/2025 21:04

Well, he can’t have found any evidence of stealing, or he would have produced it.

Perhaps they just banned them for playing hide and seek in the job - they are not really the customers the sports shop is looking for.

I’d reiterate how they should behave in a shop and say that if they had behaved normally, this probably wouldn’t have happened.

I’d leave it at that.

TheFormidableMrsC · 30/07/2025 21:06

You go back into the store, you ask them for their evidence, you seek legal advice and you hopefully stop some wannabe bouncer from intimating other kids. I was followed around Sports Direct by a security guard. I was looking at Nike offers for my 14 yo son. I’m nearly 56 years old and perfectly able to pay for things. I walked out in the end because I felt intimidated. So they lost out on what would have been a significant sale. I wish I’d pursued it. Absolutely mortifying.

MargaretThursday · 30/07/2025 21:09

They can't let them watch the CCTV if there is anyone other than themselves in it.

But actually My son wouldn’t say boo to a goose he’s so quiet and shy.
Sorry, but he isn't. A child who is quiet and shy wouldn't have had the courage to ask to watch the CCTV.
And at 15yo I don't think they didn't know they were being a pain playing "hide and seek".

It's private property then they can ban who they want as long as it isn't due to a protected characteristic.

GaspingGekko · 30/07/2025 21:11

What are your next steps? Tell your DS not to mess around in shops like that.

CorvusPurpureus · 30/07/2025 21:14

The shop doesn't want them in there, because by their own account they were pratting about - not shopping, but 'playing hide & seek'.

So they're banned for being a PITA & not actual customers. Which is entirely fair.

It's probably fair to say that a fair proportion of Sports Direct's shoplifting is carried out by teenagers, so unsurprisingly they would have come under suspicion for their frankly peculiar behaviour.

They need to accept the ban & grow up a bit. Retail premises are not a kids' playground.

Kibble19 · 30/07/2025 21:15

By playing hide and seek, I’m assuming they were physically going into clothes racks or between displays, ducking and diving, going to the changing rooms, creeping about etc?

If so, you can surely see why they look like two little thieves to anyone looking at it. 😐

Createausername1970 · 30/07/2025 21:15

Yeah, I agree with previous posters, your son was out of order messing around in a shop. He is 15, not 5.

Your next steps? Tell him it's down to his own stupidity and live with it. This is what happens in real life.

Sorry if it's not the response you were looking for.

Laura95167 · 30/07/2025 21:16

MargaretThursday · 30/07/2025 21:09

They can't let them watch the CCTV if there is anyone other than themselves in it.

But actually My son wouldn’t say boo to a goose he’s so quiet and shy.
Sorry, but he isn't. A child who is quiet and shy wouldn't have had the courage to ask to watch the CCTV.
And at 15yo I don't think they didn't know they were being a pain playing "hide and seek".

It's private property then they can ban who they want as long as it isn't due to a protected characteristic.

This!.. and I'd add at 15 does he play hide and seek often?

I know, no 15 year olds who play hide and seek. I dont think hes giving you the full story

BallerinaRadio · 30/07/2025 21:17

Yep if they weren't messing about they wouldn't have caught the security guards attention. Put it down as a lesson learned

Kibble19 · 30/07/2025 21:17

Also, isn’t 15 years old a bit old to be behaving like that? Him being “shaken up” is what you’d call a life lesson, maybe. He won’t do it again.

Kibble19 · 30/07/2025 21:19

Laura95167 · 30/07/2025 21:16

This!.. and I'd add at 15 does he play hide and seek often?

I know, no 15 year olds who play hide and seek. I dont think hes giving you the full story

OP says they’re both “very well behaved” too. I don’t think that’s quite the case when she’s not present.

Surely a quiet-as-mouse, shy type isn’t acting the idiot in a shop. Not really in keeping with that personality type.

Pippa12 · 30/07/2025 21:21

Why do you think you need to take ‘steps’? Assuming the police aren’t involved there isn’t anything to resolve.

Common sense tells you he was acting the fool playing hide and seek in their (very expensive!) stock.

It’s pretty obvious why they’ve been banned from the shop. I’d tell him to smarten his act up personally and not pander to him.

HonoriaBulstrode · 30/07/2025 21:23

By playing hide and seek, I’m assuming they were physically going into clothes racks or between displays, ducking and diving, going to the changing rooms, creeping about etc?

Two 15 yos are big enough to be a bloody nuisance to other shoppers if that was what they were doing. I wouldn't want to be in a shop where two teenage boys were barging around.

PenelopeSkye · 30/07/2025 21:23

At 15 they really should know it’s not ok to behave like that in a shop. Your DS may be shy and quiet, but two 15 year olds boys can be intimidating to people who don’t know them, and if they were hiding and messing around it will have put other shoppers off. I would be telling my DS that the guard may have been a bit OTT, but that he doesn’t know DS and can only go off how he’s behaving- I think it will be a good lesson for him to realise behaving like that has consequences.

AbzMoz · 30/07/2025 21:24

Do you seriously think it’s acceptable that he was running around in a shop? Play stupid games, win stupid prizes…

Drivingthevengabus · 30/07/2025 21:27

I'm not up to date on the law, but way back when I worked in retail the actions of the security guard as you describe them would not have been allowed. It used to be the case that you could only apprehend people once they left the store and I think you had to be able to say where you believed the stolen goods were on their person.

Two teens messing about in a sports direct is obviously not appropriate, but not that serious either. The security guard shout have just told them to pack it in and get out.

Isitreallysohard · 30/07/2025 21:28

Pippa12 · 30/07/2025 21:21

Why do you think you need to take ‘steps’? Assuming the police aren’t involved there isn’t anything to resolve.

Common sense tells you he was acting the fool playing hide and seek in their (very expensive!) stock.

It’s pretty obvious why they’ve been banned from the shop. I’d tell him to smarten his act up personally and not pander to him.

not pander to him

Excellent advice. Actions have consequences, he hasn't been charged with anything. I'd let this one go.

Kimmeridge · 30/07/2025 21:30

The security guy has probably been dealing with shoplifters and other idiots. 2 15 year olds playing hide & seek in a shop is ridiculous. I bet they were getting in everyone's way. ..

Life lesson for your son. If youre in a shop behave like a normal person dont arse about like an idiot and security wont have any reason to throw him out.

As for what you can do you could take him back to apologise for his behaviour. Otherwise find somewhere else to shop

Drivingthevengabus · 30/07/2025 21:32

To all the posters saying the boys deserved it because they were messing about, would you be happy to be wrongly accused of theft? That's not how the law works! Or is it ok because it's just teenage boys?

Yabberwok · 30/07/2025 21:36

Ok your son was being stupid. The security guy is being bollocked for the amount of theft. The old bill do nothing even if he catches them red handed. He suspects your son is either stealing or causing a distraction so his mates can. Therefore, he's banned your son. If you believe your son then ok fair enough he wasn't stealing but I expect he was being a pain in the arse as only 15 year old boys can (and I was probably a bigger one).
So where are we? Were the police called? Did your boy get the clip round the ear he probably deserved? No and no. He's simply banned from one shop. Been there seen it done it...plus a couple of pubs, a campsite, ever working for Bristol port authority (in fairness that was a great uncle back in the 1930s who caused that but I'm still banned for life). Did any of that have an affect on me in any way....no. You both need to suck it up, give it a year or so and your son will be able to wander in there, as long as he behaves, and buy tacky sports gear to his hearts content.

Kibble19 · 30/07/2025 21:37

Drivingthevengabus · 30/07/2025 21:32

To all the posters saying the boys deserved it because they were messing about, would you be happy to be wrongly accused of theft? That's not how the law works! Or is it ok because it's just teenage boys?

They’ll have been looking like they were stealing though. Probably hiding in clothing racks, looking over their shoulder, peering round corners of the shop. Obviously I’m not sure exactly what they were doing but it’s not a stretch to think it looked like they were stealing.

Drivingthevengabus · 30/07/2025 21:40

Kibble19 · 30/07/2025 21:37

They’ll have been looking like they were stealing though. Probably hiding in clothing racks, looking over their shoulder, peering round corners of the shop. Obviously I’m not sure exactly what they were doing but it’s not a stretch to think it looked like they were stealing.

I'm sure you are right - and I agree that the security guard was entitled to chuck them out - but I don't believe he was entitled to accuse them of theft.

Puppydogtail · 30/07/2025 21:54

BellissimoGecko · Today 21:04

yes I have him a good talking to about how to behave in shops. He should know that already at 15. No the security guard made it clear they were banned from the centre.

Hes not a bad boy, plenty kids that’s are banned from the centre are either stealing or fighting. Which he does none of these.

OP posts:
Puppydogtail · 30/07/2025 21:56

TheFormidableMrsC · Today 21:06
Thank you for your advice. Part of me wants to just forget this but part of me wants to go and ask about it in the store.

OP posts:
Internaut · 30/07/2025 21:59

They can't let them watch the CCTV if there is anyone other than themselves in it.

Not true. What on earth would the point of CCTV be if it could not be used for this sort of purpose? Basically when you go into a shop with CCTV you are consenting to other people seeing your image.

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