Son accused of theft

[Puppydogtail]

Just a bit of advice needed. My son and his friend both 15. Both are quiet and very well behaved. Not just saying that as I’m his parent.

Both boys went to the cinema and shopping yesterday. Son and his friend stupidly played hide and seek in a sports shop. I know I know, silly behaviour.
Next min a security guard came up and took them to the side and said they had evidence on camera of them steeling. There was security tags found in the changing rooms. He was horrible to my son and friend and checked through there bags. My son asked to see the video evidence and was told he can’t see it.

next thing they were being escorted out the building and told they are banned. They asked how long for and the security said he’ll need to speak to the manager.

my son was shaken and still is from yesterday. What should I do? My son wouldn’t say boo to a goose he’s so quiet and shy. There is no way on earth he would steal. Obviously it’s mistaken identity. So how can they Barr him if it wasn’t him. What are my next steps. Thanks

But the OP son was not kept in a room, nor did the guard go through his phone and very few retail security have SIA cards. The only time we have SIA guards is if we occasionally need agency and they have no idea of how different retail security is from door security and are frankly a pita

Don’t be so ridiculous. This has nothing to do with the DPA or defamation. It was 2 kids being bloody annoying in a public place and as a result getting told off by security, quite appropriate IMO.

What are my next steps?

A clip round the ear.

Yes, the one I've said in my earlier posts: "Lads, you are out of order - we don't allow this behaviour in store. You need to leave and you are not welcome back again." No need to accuse them of theft at all. I have said I totally agree the OPs son was behaving badly and deserved to be thrown out.

As I said before, I am not sure if the security guard was acting in line with the law, but it's a long time since I worked in retail. I know when I did we would have had to seen the theft/concealment happen and knew where the items were before accusing anyone. Most of the stores I worked in had a rule that you had to wait till the person left the store before confronting them.

I’d be going there and asking to speak to the manager, and ask what evidence there was to accuse your son and his friend of theft. It’s one thing acting stupid in a store, it’s another to steal items. Why should they just accept a ban? You need to go and sort it out.

This is ridiculous advice. Please don’t embarrass yourself by doing this 😬

This. Because the absolute embarrassment and piss-taking a 15 year old boy will experience as a result of his mum going round to the shop to "speak to the manager" will be enough to keep him in his room till he's 35.

Seriously, this is Fuck Around and Find Out in action.

Drop it, your son will have to live with it! Embarassing to be accused of theft, but who the hell plays hide and seek in a shop???? Your son is not 5 he should know better. No problem that he made a mistake, it happens, but don't go around fixing it for him as he will become entitled and never learn. Nothing will come out of it, police wasn't called he was just sent home. For the poster who cited defamation, please don't give legal advice anymore if you are not sure. Son's OP reputation wasn't harmed in any way, the security guard didn't go around telling anyone else the boy is a thief.

Embarrassed by whom? Not like half his classmates are going to be sitting there watching. So you’d just let your kid be banned from a shopping centre for theft when they didn’t steal anything? I certainly wouldn’t.

Exactly that!

@Puppydogtail My son asked to see the video evidence and was told he can’t see it.

Video recordings are personal data. If the video shows your son then I believe he can submit a data Subject Access Request to the store or shopping centre, and they will have to provide it.

https://ico.org.uk/for-the-public/getting-copies-of-your-information-subject-access-request/

Personally, I'd give this information to your son and let him choose whether he wants to pursue it. In this world of cameras and constant data collection and sharing it's really important that he understands his rights.

I completely agree with this. As ex-retail (and other forms) security myself, the security guard seriously overstepped if he had no evidence of theft and insisted on searching their bags.

I assumed being kids who did not know any better (and I genuinely don't mean that as insulting/patronising to your son and his friend), they let him get on with it to help prove their innocence, but I would have refused and insisted he called the Police.

I would also asked if they followed the ASCONE policy, although I have been out a few years, I think this is still the most recent think they should be following

ASCONE

I would definitely be taking this further with the store, but as other posters have suggested maybe a reminder about messing about/playing in shops as well - but that does not excuse the security officer's actions.

OP, you are deluded. Your son is apparently ‘very well behaved’ but was causing a nuisance in a shop by running about, hiding and playing a game that most children have grown out of by 7.

He is apparently so shy and “wouldn’t say boo to a goose”, but had the confidence and cheek to challenge a shop manager and security guard, in asking to see video evidence?

You need to take your blinkers off, he is not the little cherub you think he is. He’s not telling you the whole story. At the very least, the 2 boys caused the entire problem by drawing attention to themselves mucking about. Of course they raised suspicion. The shop is perfectly within their rights to bar them.

Yeah I’m not sure about the so shy and quiet and wouldn’t say boo to a goose yet is running about causing havoc and talking back to security guards etc.

At 15 I actually was ridiculously shy and quiet and I once was on a train with my friends and lost my ticket. I genuinely had just lost it. The guard said he was going to fine me and was very stern talking about fare evasion being criminal etc. I started crying and getting my money out to pay which I didn’t have enough of so then my friends were looking at how much they had and sill wasn’t enough so I asked if I could ring my mum to pay. At which point I think he realised I was actually genuine and let me off and let me just buy a replacement ticket.

I’d want to know why a grown man took two boys aside to search them without an adult present.

I doubt they'll enforce banning him from the whole centre, likely it was said to make him think twice about messing around in shops. If they do, then that's the point at which I'd go down and try to find out what actually happened. I would also keep in mind even 'good' teens occasionally embellish the truth, so I would want to hear the security guard's version before jumping to conclusions.

Your son and his friend should not be 'messing around' in that shop in the first place.

The owners are perfectly entitled to ban teenagers causing a nuisance.

That should teach him a lesson.

Don't be that parent who thinks their little darlings can't do no wrong.

I would also assume that the actual story is that the security guards had to intervene and wanted to check that they were not stealing as the store has had ongoing issues with shoplifters. They did not find anything so the police was not called but were banned because of their rowdy behaviour. I can't see anything wrong with this scenario. The owners and staff of the shop have better things to do that deal with teenagers 'messing around' on their premises.

I am Indian (DH white), so we have had this in shops where our children have been racially profiled (challenged on exit, followed around stores etc). I would be making a formal complaint and also I would be making a data subject access request (A DSAR) both to the store head office and to the store ASAP so they do not say that the data has been deleted. You can then see exactly what was happening with DCs. Also request any information logged on DCs in the course of this event.

They were escorted through the building, which is an action which clearly implies they have done something criminal. The guard said he would speak to the manager - so that is publishing the allegation - and if they were banned other staff would have to be told as well.

You can bring defamation actions on a no win no fee basis. In practice in this situation, if the CCTV shows the guard was lying, the shop would pay up because it would have no defence.

15 year old boys can be pretty intimidating, even if they they don’t realise it themselves. If they were larking about in a shop I would definitely avoid them, and I think it’s fair for the shop to ban them for this alone. I would put this down to a lesson learned.

I'd just let it go. I tell my 14 yr old that actions have consequences. He's absolutely aware of what's right and wrong so if he chooses to fuck about its on him. He's had to.learn the hard way a couple of times

I just can't imagine two well behaved 15 yr olds playing hide and seek in a shop. 5 yr old maybe.

It isn't a place for 15 yr old to be fucking about and it's no surprise they've aroused suspicion.

It's a shops job to sell you items not provide a creche for teenagers

if this was mine I would be having stern words with my son about mucking around in shops especially at 15.
Then I would visit the sports shop in question and ask to speak to the manager. I would not have my son labelled as having stolen something if they haven’t.

Absolutely not true!!!! Talking to manager is not for the purpose of defaming the boy but for the following the shop procedures and policies. Being escorted does not mean you did something criminal, nor can it be proved that any defamation took place. Telling other shop keepers, also part of policoes and procedures and to prevent shoplifting and crime, none of these shop keepers or retailers go and publish lists with the banned people. If they took a cctv still and post it on their facebook page, yes, but what is dedcribed here is day to day dealing with nuissance shoppers, the shops would all be bankrupt if it was that easy to take legal action for that.

Being banned from a shop after playing hide and seek amongst the rails (at 15 years old?!) is not an unreasonable punishment. I don't understand why you want to pursue it if the police were not involved. Your son is obviously not the quiet shy boy you thought he was, but he has probably learned from the experience.

The security guard sounds like a power tripping dick. If he was banning them for messing around in the shop, harsh (they could have at least had a warning first) but fair. However he shouldn’t have lied to them about the reason and accused them of stealing. I’d complain to the shop that your son was unfairly and incorrectly labelled a thief, but also acknowledge that he shouldn’t have been messing around in there. That’d be my next step. I’d have a word with him about the messing around but make him understand that that it doesn’t constitute being accused of stealing and it’s the security guard that’s in the wrong