Son accused of theft

[Puppydogtail]

Just a bit of advice needed. My son and his friend both 15. Both are quiet and very well behaved. Not just saying that as I’m his parent.

Both boys went to the cinema and shopping yesterday. Son and his friend stupidly played hide and seek in a sports shop. I know I know, silly behaviour.
Next min a security guard came up and took them to the side and said they had evidence on camera of them steeling. There was security tags found in the changing rooms. He was horrible to my son and friend and checked through there bags. My son asked to see the video evidence and was told he can’t see it.

next thing they were being escorted out the building and told they are banned. They asked how long for and the security said he’ll need to speak to the manager.

my son was shaken and still is from yesterday. What should I do? My son wouldn’t say boo to a goose he’s so quiet and shy. There is no way on earth he would steal. Obviously it’s mistaken identity. So how can they Barr him if it wasn’t him. What are my next steps. Thanks

Maybe he isn’t so quiet and shy when taking the piss in shops with his mates.

A lesson needs to be learnt here.

Oh give over OP, he was being a dick in the shop.
Be grateful that the security guard ticked him off.
He will have learned a lesson, and you will have learned that he is capable of being a dick (like most 15 year olds).
One of mine was banned from home bargains once, for messing around trying on a Halloween cape. I didn't try to defend him.

Firstly, he’s your son yes you think the sun shines out of his backside but you’re unrealistic to think that your precious baby will never do any wrong, ever throughout his life.

Secondly, go into the shop with him and ask to speak to the manager. Ask to see the footage yourself.

I wouldn’t take it any further but if you really want to know what happened you could ring the manager to find out from their point of view.

I had to do that kind of thing when my dc were younger as I used to get told a story that didn’t add up. I rang the leisure centre manager once after my dc was told off by a swimming instructor and found out that my dc had point blank refused to get out of the pool at the end of the lesson.

This. If h wasn't messing around in the shop none of this would have happened. He's probably learnt his lesson.

Seek legal advice!!!! Good God whatever next!

OP just needs to tell her kid to behave in shops and avoid that shop from now on. They can ban who they like for whatever reason. Just move on.

I agree with this. They're 15 not 5 🙄

I think it was because he thought they were shoplifting.

He didn’t ‘search them’. He looked in their bags.

You don’t say they were banned for stealing. So it isn’t clear, they were accused of thefts their bags searched, then they were escorted out and banned. I’ve never heard of 2 x 15 year olds playing hide and seek, never mind in a shop, unless there is a back story, it is very unusual behaviour and I’d be sceptical of that. They also don’t sound remotely quiet of well behaved, from challenging the guard to the odd behaviour, I suspect they were banned due to their behaviour and your son is telling you what he wants you to hear. I’d go down, but I’d bet good money the story you get is very different to the one you were told.

I think if more people spent time with teens, they’d realise that they really often are quite silly and, well, childlike.

By all means tell them off for being annoying/silly/inconsiderate but it’s unnecessary to lie about the reason though. That was obviously said to try and scare or intimidate them.

I do wonder if all the responses would be the same if it were a different demographic.

The state of some of these comments! So your 15 your old son has been caught pissing about playing hide and seek(?!) in a shop that I'm guessing suffers a fair bit from shoplifting. A security guard (who probably knows from previous experience that politely asking pissing around teens to leave doesn't achieve much), decides to give them a bit of a scare by saying he thinks they're trying to nick stuff - or maybe he genuinely believes they were, who knows? The solution to this 'problem' is not to tell your son to stop being a dick, but to go to the shop, cause a load of aggro, start banging on about data protection and to sue for defamation! Fucking mental.

If it's Sports Direct they are banned from, then that is a bonus. Assuming that like me you will not spend money in a store where the warehouse staff were treated almost like slaves and the owner sold the football club he owned to the Saudis.

The store is only obliged to share cctv with police. A dsar won’t give it. He should accept the consequence of his behaviour, innocent or not. No formal action has resulted. Theft is a huge issue in retail, we all pay for it in the ticket prices and especially the staff who put up with intimidation and losing bonuses based on stock loss.

my son was shaken and still is from yesterday.

Well good. Now maybe he'll think twice before behaving like an idiot in a shop.

Are you like one of those parents who think their son is a lovely lad whilst doing wheelies on a stolen bike? I suspect your son behaves in a worse way than you realise. Just talking from experience of working in retail/hospitality.

Well, if it had been my ds (similar age) I'd have used it as a good life lesson as to why it's not a good idea to prat around in shops. I.e. even if you're not guilty of the specified crime, you were judged on the basis of your behaviour that may have led someone to believe you were up to no good. If you really want to take it further, then I'd be encouraging your son to speak to the manager to apologise for messing around in the shop, explain that he wasn't stealing but he understands how the misunderstanding occurred, and ask for leniency to shop there again if he promises not to dick around again.

Honestly, op, charging to his defence will achieve little except, one day, an entitled grown man who lacks the ability to take responsibility for his actions and blames everyone else for his misfortunes. I do know what teenage boys can be like, and have experienced it first hand, which is all the more reason not to make excuses for them. At that age he's more than capable of 1. Going into shops sensibly to shop and 2. Taking the consequences of his actions.

That's simply not correct. In fact, this is the sort of nonsense that store managers tell staff in order to discourage customers from submitting a DSAR.

https://www.gov.uk/request-cctv-footage-of-yourself

https://ico.org.uk/for-organisations/advice-for-small-organisations/subject-access-requests-sar/subject-access-request-advice/#cctv

And an example:

https://privacy-hub.sainsburys.co.uk/your-rights/

Yes, we all know this is a problem, but that does not mean that people should be falsely accused, bullied or intimidated by 'security' staff.

What on earth did your great uncle do to earn a ban extending to his descendants?!

The entitlement on this thread is amazing. Shops don’t have to let anyone in the premises if they don’t want to because it’s private property and you can’t just demand to see cctv, there’s a proper process you have to follow which maybe your son should learn OP along with how to behave in public and not act like a 3 year old.

We constantly deal with parents who think that their little angels couldn’t possibly do anything wrong but unfortunately the child you have at home and the child that is with their friends are usually very different personalities. Do him and retail staff a favour by teaching him how retail stores are not playgrounds and if he must play hide and seek at 15 give him directions to the local park. Summer holidays in retail is a nightmare with kids and I can’t wait for them to be back in school.

Had an improper relationship...with the union's funds! The union placed a blanket ban/blacklist on the family. To be honest I never tried to get a job there and not sure if the union has the sway it once did, but my grandfer who, apart from his time at the front in the first war, had always worked there and his other brothers were kicked off of union controlled work. Given that the family had been dockers for at least 200 years (someone did the family tree and it's an unusual name) it was a bit of a blow. Mind you grandfer set up a number of businesses and became a multi millionaire.... unfortunately granny was a very very strange woman (met her for the first time just after my mum died. I was 17. Saw a week later and she blanked me) she persuaded him to sell them for hard cash which was spent over the remaining 40 years of her life.

A slander case wouldn’t get to court, never in a million years. And neither would the sports shop pay up to avoid it going to court. The courts would be overrun with claimants who have ever been asked to leave a pub or club, or who have been searched in the street by police but nothing found. Where does it end? Pupils threatening to take teachers to court for slander because they’ve been told off in school?
Anyway this thread is not about defamation laws, but about a teenager pratting about in a shop like an overgrown toddler who is only giving his version of events.

Playing hide and seek? In a sports shop at 15? 😂😂😂

he’s got your number