Son accused of theft

[Puppydogtail]

Just a bit of advice needed. My son and his friend both 15. Both are quiet and very well behaved. Not just saying that as I’m his parent.

Both boys went to the cinema and shopping yesterday. Son and his friend stupidly played hide and seek in a sports shop. I know I know, silly behaviour.
Next min a security guard came up and took them to the side and said they had evidence on camera of them steeling. There was security tags found in the changing rooms. He was horrible to my son and friend and checked through there bags. My son asked to see the video evidence and was told he can’t see it.

next thing they were being escorted out the building and told they are banned. They asked how long for and the security said he’ll need to speak to the manager.

my son was shaken and still is from yesterday. What should I do? My son wouldn’t say boo to a goose he’s so quiet and shy. There is no way on earth he would steal. Obviously it’s mistaken identity. So how can they Barr him if it wasn’t him. What are my next steps. Thanks

You need to write to the shop to ask for either a copy of the CCTV footage or a good opportunity to watch it for yourself, citing the Data Protection Act. If it bears out what your son said, apologise for the fact that he was messing about but say that you expect an apology for the store detective's conduct and lies. Tell them that if you don't get it you will be taking defamation action.

Your son was acting like a young child and being pain in the arse. The security guard gave him a scare. The end

Hopefully it does the trick and he now knows not to be an arse in shops. There are no next steps as no charges brought. Unless you want to give him some kind of punishment for causing the security guard a problem.

I don’t usually muck around in shops tbh. I go in find what I want, but it and leave.

Please don't go in the store, making a fool of yourself to a minimum wage security guard who simply didn't want to have yet another issue with theft getting out of hand. He's a 15 year old boy playing in a store. It's a store not a playground.

Don't be "that" parent. You can't "save" him all his life from dumb decisions. Just let him actually learn from this and cut the apron strings. He's on the cusp of adulthood.

Yeah, but they haven’t been accused really, Have they? No action is being taken against them.

But maybe it’s hard for the security guard to tell between kids fighting and kids running round the store playing hide and seek, etc… they are all PITAs

Your image falls under data protection on viewing past CCTV.

Only designated people should view the CCTV, which would include the police.

You can request to view CCTV of yourself, under data protection laws, but the company would need to make sure that no one else was identifiable on the cctv, by pixelating them out or similar.

They could not let the ds view the CCTV without an authorised person checking first and removing/ obscuring all people that could be identified.

If people are accused of theft, there is usually good reason. And teenagers are terribly unreliable. Take them to apologize or tell them not to go there again.

Playing hide and seek? Chinny. Reckon.

I work retail and for anything other than authorised members of staff (not even all staff) it would need to come via a request to head office usually from police or insurance companies. And you can be banned for whatever reason the shop decides as long as it is not discrimination.

He was being daft in a shop.
Now he banned
Behaviour has consequences
He needs to learn the lesson and stay away from that shop and behave like an adult in other shops.
Unless he gets charged stay quiet and tell him to act like a grown up in future
He clearly isn't the golden child you think

Do you mean banned from the store or banned from the whole mall? If the whole complex then woukd pursue it, with obviously him being adamant that he didn't take anything (or his friend!).

Everything said in this post is what I was going to say.

OP, you are making it sound like this entire incident is going to appear on every DBS check for the rest of his life, whereas in fact there is no record of it anywhere. Frankly, I admire your son's nerve for coming home and telling you about it, because when I was his age I'd have been far too embarrassed and ashamed of myself.

This said, my parents were the sort to automatically question my behaviour in any situation where I told them I'd been wronged, because frankly you can bet your life I started the problem, so I soon learnt it wasn't worth the hassle of telling my folks. Maybe if your son knows there's at least a 50/50 chance you're going to make a deal of it (you say in another message you're currently torn between doing nothing and doing something) then he may have thought it was worth the effort in telling you his version of what went on.

Frankly, you should be telling him to quit while he's ahead. 😆

Yea, I am exactly the same. But if for some reason I was messing about, I wouldn't expect to be accused of theft - I might expect to be asked to leave and not come back. There are laws around what shop staff can and can't do in these circumstances. I don't believe the security guard acted in accordance with them by accusing them of theft.

If OP has said "my son was messing about in a shop and got banned, should I go and speak to the shop about it?" I would have said no absolutely not. Perhaps it doesn't really matter, I do agree he's experiencing the consequences of his actions, but I also think the security guard was out of line to go as far as to accuse them of doing something illegal.

Having worked in retail, it's a distraction technique for children to be messing about and in the disruption things are stolen. He accused them of theft based on the fact it's literally a theft technique. He also possibly thought it odd 15 year old boys would play hide and seek in a shop...

The saddest distraction technique i witnessed in retail was 2 and 3 year olds stealing as a game putting things under a blanket in pushchairs playing "peek a boo" then running through and round rails as a distraction after. All taught by mum...

Theft is chronic, any odd behaviour or distraction behaviour almost automatically is suspicious. Until you've worked it you can't believe it.

but I also think the security guard was out of line to go as far as to accuse them of doing something illegal.

Fair enough, but to take this to its logical conclusion, and based on the version of the events as the OP has told us, based on the version of events her son told her, can you suggest a strategy that the security guard could have used that would have resolved both the problem in hand, and any further problems in the future?

But he was messing around by hiding. That’s going to look like suspicious behaviour to a security guard.

If I was a security guard in a sports shop and a saw two fifteen year olds pressing themselves into rails of clothes, looking over their shoulders, ducking down etc I would absolutely think they were shoplifting rather than playing hide and seek.

If they were in and out of changing rooms messing about, maybe the security guard did suspect them of stealing. Also I wouldn’t trust your son to have told you the whole story tbh. I would not take it any further.

My teen son was once taken into a holding room by two security guards - in his case it was mistaken identity. But until they had established that they intimidated him and kept him in a room for over an hour without an adult present which they shouldn’t do as he was a minior. They went through his phone - they also lied on a form to say they did not detained him. I contacted SIA and logged a complaint.

If it was my own dc I wouldn’t believe them either! Re the ban, I would tell them serves them right for messing around.

So is this what you think OP needs to do? Genuine question.

Yes. Genuine answer.

Exactly what I thought . Won’t say boo, but a big mouth otherwise.

Also playing hide and seek at 15 in a store, very irritating and immature.

They were misbehaving and being an absolute nuisance in the shop. Far too old at 15 for this bad behaviour. They didn't steal. The shop should have just banned them permanently for bad behaviour not stealing.

Re “defamation action” this is complete nonsense. Defamation or slander technically is basically saying something derogatory and untrue about someone - not to that person themselves but to others. Eg to say hey lad, you stole something from this shop is not defamation. But to say to others, this lad stole from this shop could be considered defamation.
However it is a civil matter not a criminal
matter and therefore costs many thousands of pounds to bring to court.
Don’t even threaten it, you’d just end up looking stupid.
I’d write this off as a lesson learned not to mess about in shops, and I say that as a mother of two adopted and very troubled dds who to my shame have both shoplifted, one of whom was banned from every branch of a national chain store.
The only thing I might challenge or at least seek clarification on is if he is banned from the entire mall. I don’t think a security guard working for one store would have that power.
But I’d also read DS the riot act about his behaviour and possibly discourage this friendship and ground him.