Why’s my sofa in your lounge?

[BdayQ]

We are in the process of moving house and are currently in a rental whilst we wait for the new house to be ready (expecting it to be about 6 months)
We have a fairly new 3 piece suite but only room for the chairs in the rental place, so ILs offered to store the sofa until the new house is ready. They have a big house and said it could go in a downstairs bedroom that never gets used. DH took it over in a van and took into the room it was supposed to stay in.
Anyway, we’ve come to stay with them today for a couple of days, went to see SIL this evening and there’s our sofa in her living room with a toddler and a dog sat on it! No covers or anything and just sat there like it’s supposed to be there.
DH didn’t know it was there either until we saw it but he wasn’t saying anything, so it was left for me to question why it was there… nobody could give a good reason why it’s at SILs house and were looking at me like I was mad for asking. DH then said we wanted it back in the spare room at ILs house rather than being used in SILs heavy footfall house and potentially getting damaged.
We did say if there was a problem storing it at ILs as per the agreed plan, it wasn’t a problem and we could arrange a storage unit instead. ILs just looked surprised/confused and said it was fine to move it back to theirs “if that’s what you want” in a bewildered sort of way. Apparently SIL scoffed like we were idiots for even bringing it up and said “FFS, what do you think it’s going to happen to your precious sofa?!” although that was when I was out of the room and DH only told me later that she said that.
AITA here? I pretty much know I’m not, but ILs and SILs reaction suggest they think there’s nothing wrong with moving it - but the audacity! And why the secrecy? Apparently they didn’t tell us because it wasn’t a big deal. But like I say, there’s also seemingly no good reason for it to have been moved, they’ve not even attempted to give a reason/excuse, just the offer to move it back to ILs “if that’s what you want.”

Tell us you’re an animal hater and know nothing about animals without telling us…… 🙄

• Not all dogs are dirty (especially when well looked after)
• Many, many dog breeds do not shed fur at all
• Many, many dog breeds are hypoallergenic and can be around those who are allergic without any reaction at all
• Most sofa covers can be washed…..

She wants YOUR sofa for the kids and dogs to climb all over so her own doesn’t get ruined. I’m be having it professionally cleaned and sending her the bill too.

I love animals but am not so thick headed that I think everyone is ok with animals climbing all over their soft furnishings. The OP is well within her rights to not want someone else’s dog on her couch. And you can argue the toss all you want, dogs smell. Even small dogs, dogs who are regularly groomed, people who vacuum every day-still hve a doggy smell. End of.

I wasn’t replying to the OP.

Also, saying “end of” makes you sound like a Jeremy Kyle guest.

Agree with the above, I've never met a dog that didn't smell. Sometimes it's very faint, sometimes it's very not faint, but if you don't have a dog then you can smell it.

Anyway OP I don't think you're being unreasonable at all. I don't really understand why anyone would want to have a temporary sofa that they have to give back after six months! Surely it took some effort or a van to get it over to SIL's which wouldn't be worth it to most people. If I had any new furniture and I found out the person I'd left it with was lending it out I'd be really annoyed. You say they were bemused - do you think they'd misunderstood and they thought you didn't want the sofa anymore?

Dogs stink. All of them.

I’ve never watched Jeremy Kyle as i have a full time job, so I wouldn’t know.

I think the main point here is your SiL ASKS

I think the best strategy here is to purloin something of hers, don't give it back until you get your sofa back, if she trashes your thing you trash hers etc.

I’d be furious! Did they know you were going to be popping round to SILs? Were they hoping you wouldn’t notice or just that you’d be too scared to say anything? Cheeky fuckers.

Yanbu. No way would i want toddler or dog near it. Very weird as not needed at SILs

@BdayQ what a bloody cheek of the lot of them!!! why the hell did your in laws think it was acceptable to give your sofa to their daughter when you left it in a bedroom at their house???? why the hell did sil think it appropriate to even take it without asking??? tantamount to theft!! is she the child who has always been given everything she wanted?????

The cheek of some people never ceases to amaze me. YANBU at all.

I'd be gobsmacked and fuming!

Some people are so weird!!!!!

Id be fuming. They think its ok to give your stuff away.

How on earth did this even come about in the first place? I would be really concerned they are playing this down, all this false bewilderment!

I dunno I could go either way on this one. ILs were storing it for free right? And presumably it was taking up a while romme that they weren’t charging you rent for. They perhaps saw an opportunity to get their space back… you needed the sofa somewhere, SIL wanted a nicer sofa for a bit, everyone’s a winner. Chances are they wouldn’t have trashed it in a couple of months.

I think this sounds like an entitled SIL. I know someone like this, they never consider other people’s feelings ir opinions, just what they want ir is convenient for them. I think you stick to your position or they’ll just take the piss constantly- can you imagine if it gets stained or ruined, do you think anyone will offer to pay for it?

YANBU.

I rented my house out for a couple of years whilst I was in my twenties and stored my furniture at my parents house.

Unbeknown to me my DM "loaned" my furniture to my DB who trashed most of it. I'd saved up for decent furniture and it was under a year old when I left. It all came back covered in cat scratches, cup marks and stains, which was entirely predictable.

My parents had acres of space to store my stuff and loads of old furniture of their own stored too, but apparently mine was nicer...

DB was shocked when I said that I wanted the chair covers on the dining chairs replaced.

Yes I am still bitter.

The crazy thing here is that they're singing off the same hymn sheet and trying to make you out to be the weird one. Are they truly oblivious or just gaslighting you?
No, that isn't what was agreed and to use your stuff without asking first is bad form. You now know never to leave anything in their care, they will assume it's up for grabs and can be treated like a loan free item. Also, is your DH scared of your SIL? Seems like you had to call out his family on their CFery.

I’m with op, completely agree.
Your comment however, is just trying to rile up people who have a dog, care for them and are respectful of other people’s property.Only a person, who doesn’t like animals, would say, they all stink! Quite pathetic of you.

I would not expect anyone to want a sofa after my tiny little dog who is regularly bathed and treated regularly for fleas and worms has slept on it.

@BdayQ completely outrafeous. Is SIL a bossy cow/golden child who’s kind of bossed PIL into it when they ought to have said ‘ask your DB/SIL’?

unbelievable!

My DM used to do this all the time.. gift my possessions to visiting relatives..eg a brand new coat "Well I've never seen you wear it!" I think she was addicted to being thanked for her generosity. I was the bad guy if I complained or asked for it back. I didn't know until I had my own children that people actually paid for babysitting!

I think your in-laws wanted to be seen as generous - without having to part with anything themselves. Your SIL is just grasping. Both of them knew exactly what they were doing, but are falling back on the defence that if both of them protest that they didn't think you'd mind/needed it that it must be true and expect you to accept that.

You can't trust either of them with your stuff, or you could but the price in real terms is far too high. Better off getting storage.. and send them the bill for cleaning - but they will never pay it. They are CF users and this characteristic has probably come out in other dealings with you. You know that now, so reduce any future opportunities.