The turning of the seasons- how can I make winter more bearable?

[HyggeLonging]

Posting here for traffic. I know I am being unreasonable because it’s still late July and I feel stupid posting now, but I struggle with mental health in winter.

I live alone and work from home. I love autumn leaves and spiced lattes in September and October, but November to February sent me into a dark place last year. I have no family nearby, so I don’t look forward to Christmas. I will look into signing up as a volunteer for Christmas Day so I’m not alone the whole day.

I tried SAD lamps years ago but they gave me worse migraines. I’ve had therapy. I want to change my mindset so I’m prepared. I have warm winter clothes, hot water bottles, a big duvet, fairy lights. I drank wine too often in the evenings last winter after work and have stopped drinking because I was putting on weight - sedentary job.

Not options - getting a dog, the lease won’t allow it. SSRIs because the weight gain will depress me more. Getting a job outside the home - I cannot drive due to chronic migraine. I work long hours to distract myself and so that I can afford to have the heating on.

Any ideas? Please be kind. I know it’s still summer.

@HyggeLonging I know you said a sad lamp didn’t work. I use mine differently, I have it on my landing on a timer so it comes on about 6 am. It floods the bottom of my bed and bedroom, so not in my eyes, mimicking how the sun streams through into my bedroom in the summer.

When working I always had a week in the Canaries in January. The thought of it got me through Christmas and was a welcome burst of sun.

I always had a Christmas tree even when I lived alone. It's something to do and something pretty in the corner of the room. You could decide a theme and start looking for bits now. For example the last couple of years I've gone really tacky, retro and multi-coloured. For a couple of years before that I had teals and greens and peacocks. Before that it was all boring and totally silver. I know I'm going on, but I found it a nice little project just for me, and it was a distraction on lonely evenings. My husband hates Christmas so it's still just 'my thing'.

Also, I get into making soups and stews in winter. I make large batch and get a few meals out of them. They really are comfort food for me.

And finally, blankets and cushions. They don't have to be expensive and you can change the colours/themes every few weeks.

There are some amazing ideas here

I'd like to add maybe investing in a good bird feeder. They get so hungry in the winter and I personally find watching the birds so calming. You can sign up to recording what different species you spot too. You can pick up fat balls and seeds fairly cheaply in B&M, the Range etc

I love a good winter walk early morning when everything is crisp and peaceful

Now, I'm an atheist, but the local church do some beautiful carol performances around Christmas time. They actually invited me in one morning when I was breastfeeding DD on a bench just outside the church yard. I told them I'm not religious, but they weren't at all phased. A lot of Christian worshippers are as much about community as anything else. So don't necessarily be put off visiting even if you have no faith

Depending on where you are in the country, there are a lot of Christmas events that are free. We have a local group that go out on a sleigh belting Xmas tunes, with 'santa'. Loads of child free people come out to watch, throw a few quid in the bucket for the charity and watch the little ones be awed by the magic. Some of the local care homes wheel the residents out to see them too.

Wreath making is big around here too, if you like creative stuff, and it's a nice way to meet people.

All the best to you OP, I hope some of the suggestions on here help

I second the bird feeder, one that you attach to your window with suckers. You get to see them up close and hear little noises they make that you'd never hear from afar.

I'd like to add maybe investing in a good bird feeder. They get so hungry in the winter and I personally find watching the birds so calming. You can sign up to recording what different species you spot too. You can pick up fat balls and seeds fairly cheaply in B&M, the Range etc

This is a great idea!

I've downloaded the Merlin app which identifies bird song so you know which birds are visiting.

I can spend an hour or so just sitting in the garden going - ooh, there's a nuthatch, that's a blue tit, the robin is back...

Birdsong is so often just background noise and we hear it all around us. But it's lovely to actually listen to it.

Now, I'm an atheist, but the local church do some beautiful carol performances around Christmas time. They actually invited me in one morning when I was breastfeeding DD on a bench just outside the church yard. I told them I'm not religious, but they weren't at all phased. A lot of Christian worshippers are as much about community as anything else. So don't necessarily be put off visiting even if you have no faith

I'd also agree with this.

I dont beleive either but there's something about going to a church carol service that is really comforting. And having a bit of a sing is really good for your mental health.

Hygge, a winter holiday, a hobby. And people. Make sure you see it or least speak to another human being every day. It makes a difference.

A good dietitian versed in the RPAH Elimination diet may well help with the migraines. See here https://www.fedup.com.au/factsheets/factsheets-by-symptom/headaches-and-migraines

There’s a dietitian in Ireland - she may be happy to Skype with you. https://www.fedup.com.au/support/failsafe-dietitians/overseas

I wouldn’t suggest that you could drive again but greater comfort in your own home would be a nice aim.

Could you get some fresh air on your lunch break? Then at least you’re getting some daylight on your skin. Get a good coat so you can go out whatever the weather. You could also look into Borrow My Doggy for some canine company that doesn’t live at your place x

Flow therapy.

A UV/Vitamin D lamp can really help.

As a migraine sufferer I get your pain.... plus they make everything hard work.

Have you been in touch with the National Migraine Centre? They're so helpful https://www.nationalmigrainecentre.org.uk/

Have you seen a neurologist recently? If not, push for one. I discovered that 60% of my migraines were hormone related, and after an mri to check for brain aneurysms as I have a family history, I was put on HRT which made a huge difference.

Have you seen a chiropractor or similar? I have bulging discs and stenosis that cause the rest of my migraines. But I've even managed to reduce them with exercise and treatments.

Otherwise, you've had some excellent suggestions. My big one is getting outside everyday. I can't always manage a walk (single mum, stressful job) but I make sure I have 10 minutes in the garden every single morning. I'm trying to get a covered pergola thing for the winter, but as I might now be moving I'm holding.

Can you do the odd bit of batch cooking now so that your freezer is full of yummy, nutritious but super simple meals?

Having seen the snippy thread about being asked if you want a receipt, what a joy to read this lovely thread of positivity!

So many good suggestions, especially about engaging with nature, and so much kindness.

Every female on one side of my family has migraines and I have had them for decades. I can’t take HRT. I will check out the link though, thank you. I have an excellent massage therapist who used to be able to cure the most persistent migraines but leaving a very stressful job has helped (although reduced my income). Just a 20 minute walk each day would help, and I have to build that into my day this winter.

Thanks for all the support and suggestions, everyone. Thank you for being so kind. I think having a Christmas tree even if only I see it is a wonderful idea. I’m making a list from this thread ♥️

Google the Rebel Badge Club, buy the books, join the Facebook groups and start earning badges. It’s great fun, especially in the winter and they do a Rebel weekend online in the winter, which is also full of hilarity.

With you Op. I was really sad last night when I realised it was dark at 9pm not 9.30. By the end of next month it will be 8pm.It feels like a loss even though the evenings are still technically light.

Practical suggestions are all great. I started a new job last winter that involves being outside a lot more. It really helped mentally even if being wet and cold was a bit grim at times.

I also think "reframing" winter helps. The light is noticeably back at the end of January, so I tell myself it's really just November and December that's the slog.
I plant things for Spring - focus on the future. I agree about the going away too. Barcelona is great pre Christmas ( they celebrate on the 6 Jan so the lights are all festive but it's not insane like the UK,) Also in January. Its usually sunny and whilst not hot it's feels more like March - again , reminds you the summer will be back.

What a lovely thread!

OP I used to be like you but now I absolutely love autumn and winter!

The biggest change to my mood (which I found just as effective as taking SSRIs) was getting key vitamins and minerals up to ‘optimum’ levels. So ignore the GP when they say your ferritin level is fine because it’s over 30, it needs to be between 75 and 100.

Getting supplements is a good idea in theory but you’d be better off getting bloods done to check if you’re actually deficient in anything and then you know you can take stronger ones. Iron tablets that are 14mg a day won’t touch your iron stores, for example and you’d need a higher dose of vitamin D if you’re deficient on that.

So what I did was arrange for my own tests using one of those at home test kits (loads of places do them but I used Thriva) I tested my vit d, iron and B12 (along with others but they all came back normal) I was only just inside healthy range on all three!
So I took ferrous sulfate (you can get that from a chemist) a 4,000IU vit d mouth spray (you can get anywhere) and pay £29 every three months for a B12 injection (many chemists will do this - to find one, google vitajab) and I cannot believe the difference in both my mood and my energy levels once I got all of these three up to where they needed to be. I really notice when I’m due a B12 injection and my mood picks up within days of having one.

I went to an absolutely breathtaking carol service at my nearest cathedral one year (also not religious) there were hundreds of people in there and we were in complete darkness. You could have heard a pin drop. Then, the choir walked up the middle of the cathedral carrying candles and lighting more on the way while singing. It was a very special moment. Still sends shivers down my spine when I think of it now ❤️

I love carol services and always watch Carols from King’s on Christmas Eve.

You may well have tried everything for migraines but I now know 2 people started using an acupressure mat and their migraines stopped. One of them is a nurse who helped me when I was having an MRI and the other is a friend who tried it after I hought one myself I didnt get it for migraines but to help with back and shoulder pain. You can get them with a neck pillow which is good. Easy to buy from Amazon. Good luck with the winter. It sounds as if you have lovely plans.

If you work from home might you work from a sunnier, temporary home?

I have an ergonomic setup that would be difficult to move - it’s not just a case of taking a laptop unfortunately.

This has been a great thread, and so many wonderful suggestions. Autumn and winter are actually my favourite seasons, and interestingly, I already naturally do many of the things suggested, simply because I really enjoy such things as getting out in all weathers etc.

I used to have a similar dread of summer (having moved from Scotland to much further south in England and struggling with adjusting to the heat). However, I hated wishing my life away, so I started to seek out, and make the most of the things I did like about summer, and little by little I started to tolerate it, then like it a bit, and now I actually genuinely enjoy it. I like to make the most of all the seasons. They all have their own magic.

Try and get out as much as poss in summer, so much so that you've almost had enough of being outside in the warm.
Similarly, taking AL in summer to make the most of it?
Working in the brightest position you can manage at home.