The turning of the seasons- how can I make winter more bearable?

[HyggeLonging]

Posting here for traffic. I know I am being unreasonable because it’s still late July and I feel stupid posting now, but I struggle with mental health in winter.

I live alone and work from home. I love autumn leaves and spiced lattes in September and October, but November to February sent me into a dark place last year. I have no family nearby, so I don’t look forward to Christmas. I will look into signing up as a volunteer for Christmas Day so I’m not alone the whole day.

I tried SAD lamps years ago but they gave me worse migraines. I’ve had therapy. I want to change my mindset so I’m prepared. I have warm winter clothes, hot water bottles, a big duvet, fairy lights. I drank wine too often in the evenings last winter after work and have stopped drinking because I was putting on weight - sedentary job.

Not options - getting a dog, the lease won’t allow it. SSRIs because the weight gain will depress me more. Getting a job outside the home - I cannot drive due to chronic migraine. I work long hours to distract myself and so that I can afford to have the heating on.

Any ideas? Please be kind. I know it’s still summer.

I really struggle in the winter months too. I have bought a sad lamp and will start using that when the schools start back in September. I am also going to follow Michael Moseley's advice to try to do a 30 min brisk walk within 2 hours of waking. He says that the light is more effective on your body in that window.

I will embrace seasonal food and decor (I know some people think it is naff etc but it really helps me). One thing I started last year was a fortnightly delivery of flowers which really helps. In January I put bunches of daffodils all over the house.

We have booked an October half term break to the Canaries to get some sun before November. If we can manage it I will see about going away the week after Christmas too to recharge for January. So annoying being tied to school holidays. If it weren't for that I would probably see if I could do a couple of weeks abroad in November and again in January.

I find that by Mid Feb things are really starting to improve. The snowdrops are out, the daffodils starting to appear and the days are lengthening out to around 7am - 6pm which feels more manageable.

Oh and a weekly pilates class has really helped too.

Take up a new local hobby or course- something which gets you out of the house the odd evening and in walking distance.

Do you take Vitamin D? This and magnesium can really help. Plus getting out of the house when there is light.

I do work too much in winter. I have good outdoor clothes and walking boots. I can see it’s time for a change. There are so many good suggestions here that from the end of September I’ll be planning a walk every day, cinema, maybe take myself out for lunch sometimes, and a couple of change of scenery breaks.

The sunshine holiday - canaries or similar - is a good idea. Gets you a burst of sunshine in midwinter to keep you going.

My tip for winter is go for walks whenever you can - and it’s not too rainy. Gets you outdoors, gives you exercise etc You can appreciate the nice things about winter and its beauty and it always give you a sense of wellbeing to be outdoors.

I also really enjoy running in the winter months.

I like walking/ running the same route all year round and seeing the seasons change.

I’m not naturally a winter person but I’ve come to quite enjoy it.

There’s normally better telly in the winter too!

Start a local cinema club where you go to one another's houses or the cinema, watch films and have a drink/chat about them after.

Seconding or thirding the vitamin D. It makes a massive difference to your mood and energy levels, and I’ve read that most of us need it in the winter months.

@HyggeLonging where I live they do community lunches through winter and loads of other stuff.
You work from home id pop along to something like that on your lunch break . I’d break up my day/week as much as possible by socialising .
Id wrap up at night and take a walk after work or dinner . Then home bath and candles.

Can’t you take your self for a weekly Sunday lunch and get out for a few hours ?

What about a class or gym , yoga . Do you have any hobbies

In that case, and since you have no pets or anyone else to take into account, could you go work from abroad for say a month? Southern Spain is much sunnier and lighter in the winter than the UK, if you don't want to go far, and you could rent an Airbnb quite reasonably for the month of Jan or Feb. Or, if finances allow, what about going further afield? Many places in Asia are hot and sunny during the UK winter and once you're there the CoL is low.

What saw me through many a UK winter was my allotment. Is there a local community garden you can volunteer at, even if it just at the weekends?

The other thing is really, get sunlight and fresh air every day before you work. Even if it is just a walk round the block.

Sorry posted twice…

There are so many good ideas on this thread!! Thanks everyone and to OP for starting this.
My only suggestion is to make a calendar at the start of each week or month of what you are going to do to get out every day during that period, even if it is just “walk to post office”. Sometimes I find making the decision of what to do is the thing that stops me doing anything .

Buy yourself nice flowers every week.
Cook new recipes.
Join a book club.
Take up a craft.
Join a running club.
Get lots of soft warm lights.
Get into football or some other sport that's on over winter.
Volunteer.
Swim/gym.
Some ideas - not expecting you to do everything. There's also nothing wrong with trying to prepare yourself.

I don't like it either. What helps....

A nice bright gym/yoga studio at least one night per week.

Getting up and outside early even if it's just in the garden. Look up the importance of circadian rhythm.

Walking - I walk in the same place about 3 times per week. I can watch the seasons changing and things growing at different times of the year. (And I forage so my kitchen is full of things I've picked)

Having the right outdoor clothes. This can take some trial and error but if you have the right things at hand it makes getting outside so much easier.

There have been many days where I've looked outside and from the house it looks dark and miserable but with a little push I've got out there and made the most of it and found it's a much a nicer day than I imagined.

I hear you on working long hours but I do think daylight, fresh air and exercise help massively.

You can drive with getting migraines! Your work probably doesn’t help and you need to add more to your life. Driving is such freedom! I just love it! We don’t get much snow and ice and you can see amazing places. It’s the old saying - you need to get out more! DH and me love winter sports - football and national hunt racing. We like historic places. We like theatre. Basically something to look forward to! I like winter more than summer in some respects.

I really sympathise, OP. I think the older I get, the worse I feel about winter. It has loads of bad associations for me - lost both my parents around Christmas, suffered very bad depression during lockdown etc - so I absolutely dread the winter approaching. We tend to do more fun things and see people more during the lighter months naturally although I do try and actively plan nice things for autumn and winter. I tend to do more creative stuff like knitting and crochet as well which can be quite rewarding. I'd second the recommendations for Borrowmydoggy too - I did it for a long time and it helped my recovery from mental illness so much.
In my mind I try and get my head down to get through it and count the days until the solstice and March/April but I really feel bad wishing my life away like that. It goes against my beliefs of making the most of every day because you never know what's around the corner. Hope you get some good suggestions here. Sending you 💓 x

If you work from home, can you work from abroad a bit? Say, 2 months from a sunnier place like Spain or Portugal, or Italy? Does not have to be near the beach, and inland it would not be too expensive. Malta and Cyprus, both former colonies, also an option, if you don't speak other languages.

I second what Rainbowqueeen said re volunteering. Go on FB. Your local Parkrun will be in need of volunteer marshalls. It's an early start on a Saturday morning but it's outside and it is a community event.
Also, if you like dogs, the Cinnamon Trust or Borrow my Doggy or thr local dogs home might need volunteer walkers.

I actually love winter, I love having candles lit.

A suggestion, get a multicultural calendar and look up some of the traditions that go with them.

So Halloween is also a pagan festival and the Mexican day of the dead. You could make some Mexican sweets, think about family who have passed, set up an alter for them.

October has quite a few things Yom Kippur, Dasara, Sukkot, Diwali.

I'm not suggesting you build a sukkah but maybe make some stuffed cabbages.

Depending on where you are you might be able to be more involved in one of the festivals.

Plan Xmas, it doesn't matter if you are alone (my grandmother insisted on it) plan. Get one of those tiny bottles of champagne and have a bath.

Put on some nice clothes, cook a nice meal and buy in lots of snacks.

Watch a film.

Put on some music and dance.

You need to appreciate each season for what it is. Life in winter is different to summer. Our habits change and we need different things. Make sure you get out often, try to see the beauty in it. This video helped me so much, (and be thankful we have mild winters here where we don't have to dig our cars out of snow!!)

Yes - walk to post office, go to cinema, find a good series on TV and do a pile of ironing, go for pre-Christmas lunch at Morrisons, look for a cheap minibreak, use that spa day voucher, visit a museum, send birthday cards on time.

Another one already noticing the creeping in of autumn and dreading winter. Here in Scotland the daylight hours in mid winter are very short,and often inclement.
I celebrate the Winter Solstice as I know the days start getting longer after that and it makes me feel more positive.

DVLA say I can’t drive. I used to visit lots of places.

Ok. Dvla. Can thst be reviewed?

I do feel for you, I get a sort of winter depression and I get migraines.

I live by my SAD lamp, so I would suggest you see if there’s anything more that can be done to help your migraines.

I was just reading this morning that a diet high in Omega 3s (fatty fish) and magnesium can help. See your GP if there’s anything new on the market that you could take. I’ve even read that having an orgasm can release chemicals that relieve a migraine! You say you live alone, but a vibrator can be a good substitute.

As a migraine sufferer I know that you know your body and what’s sets them off - but I’d suggest trying the sad lamp again. Maybe start it further away and in shorter doses, maybe wear sunglasses, or cover your eyes.

As suggested get outside - but try somewhere or something that really hits that dopamine spot. I used to have a dog and a small wood nearby - a walk in the woods when it was snowing was magical. I now find it hard to summon the motivation to get outside during the winter without my dog (she died of old age a few years ago), but I know it’s good for me.

I also rent and am not allowed either cats or dogs. However last year I joined Trusted House Sitters - you go and house sit (for free) in another persons home. That way you can still work from home, but have the added company of a cat/s or dog/s and you will have to go out to walk the dog. I used to go to places that were in more lovely areas than mine. Novelty/variety in your life is needed if you are like me and live a very quiet, routine life.

I also take antidepressants and also found weight gain/apathy were side effects. I thought I’d tried most of them, even some of the older tricyclics which often have more side effects eg Mirtzapine termed me into a zombie. However after deciding to wean myself of my current SSRI because it just made me feel ‘meh - whatever’, I had a shingles type nerve pain. My GP put me on Amitriptyline and mentioned it was also an older style antidepressants. My nerve pain went, but I felt so much better that I’m now taking it regularly. I’m so surprised that a really old antidepressant suits me so well.

It’s all the usual things that help - good sleeping habits, some regular exercise, good diet. I also take Vit D supplements much of the year.

I’ve read that we need social connectivity, meaning and variety to keep our mental health steady, I now live by the phrase ‘stay busy, be useful’

You are very wise to start thinking about this now, because once it creeps up on you - it’s very hard to find the motivation to do all these sensible things. My biggest problem is anhedonia - where you stop enjoying the things that
you normally enjoy. This of course sets up a vicious circle - you feel miserable and unmotivated, so you do the minimum to get through the day, which means the next day you feel the same (or worse) so do even less.

You are in a difficult situation where you can’t change much to put yourself in a different situation- can’t use a sad lamp because of migraines, can’t get a dog because of renting. This must make you feel very powerless, and I know from personal experience feeling helpless in a situation makes things worse.

I hope that something in one of the suggestions from all the posters helps you.

Oh and by the way, Trusted Housesitters covers overseas places as well. It’s not as busy as in summer, but there’s always plenty of pets sits over Christmas and New Year.