To let my 8 year old daughter shave half her head

[Missymini]

My daughter currently has a bob and she has decided she wants her hair cut shorter. We have looked together at pictures online and she likes the type were half the head is shaved and the remaining hair has a undercut. It feels quite drastic but I am tempted to let her as it is her hair we have discussed once it is done if she doesn't like it she will have to wait for it to grow out and she is adamant that is fine.

Fgs she is 8. She gets a normal, low maintenance hair cut and forgets about it. What are you thinking?

This comment says a lot about you. Personally I hate how even very little girls are now getting into make up, and only like pink or purple and wearing clothes with frills so I find it very refreshing to hear about OPs DC.

Great update @Missymini I have very short hair for practical reasons and am neither butch, chavvy nor a lesbian as one delightful poster implied 😡 I don’t think I’m particularly interesting or edgy, but I do have very fine hair that looks awful in anything other than a crop which fortunately suits me.

Why do you hate it? It's one thing if they are told they have to do it to be a girl and that anything else is wrong. But if they voluntarily want to and enjoy that's fine, I always say stereotypical feminity doesn't take away from anything, the same goes for anything 'out of the norm' - there's a wide range of things with connote feminity and that's for everyone to enjoy what they wish from it. I know doctors and scientists who have pink bows on them and wear lots of makeup - it doesn't take away from their intelligence. I know sports players, footballers, sprinters, rugby players who have very elaborate nails and makeup and are incredibly strong and athletic. I just think there's no one way to be feminine and we don't have to hate on anyone who enjoys the 'stereotypical' ideas of it just as we shouldn't hate on anyone who has a mixed view if feminity. I think it's the limits of what's feminine that are a problem - women were once told marathons weren't feminine, and that sports wasn't feminine, and science wasn't feminine, and that choosing to not be a mother wasn't feminine. None of those things (as more and more accepted) are marks of unfeminity which is the same for those who love makeup (it doesn't mean they're have insecurities, many find it fun), even if it's from a young age, if they enjoy the makeup, and painted nails, and pink outfits why should we stop them?

@Missymini I think that's a great update, if she's happy to make the commitment let her.

I think it’s a fab hair cut! My 8yr old wanted short hair for so long as I attempted to talk her out of it so she decided to take matters into her own hands and cut it herself which resulted her needing to go to the barbers and having a very very short hair style but she loves it and it suits her and she hasn’t looked back since. She’s 9 now coming up to 10 and she has short hair ever since.

What? You’re not making sense.

DD and her pals weren’t interested in either haircuts or make up and frills at aged 8. Of her group, some had long hair (couldn’t be bothered to get it cut) some had a basic bob (parents wanted short, easy-to-manage hair and they just kept it short). That’s it.

Whether it’s make up or an “edgy” haircut, I don’t see either as something to celebrate. Nor do I see some as edgy and some as boring. They’re 8 years old.

I feel young girls (say under 10, 12) wearing make-up and sexualised clothing just wrong 😕 I also don't think it voluntary when that's what's subtly marketed to you ... but that's a different thread! 🫠

Indeed.

There appears to be an assumption here amongst some posters that those who have commented negatively on this particular hairstyle for an 8 year old must be in favour of girls conforming to long hairstyles.

I don't like very long hair on anyone. I've never had very long hair myself. I prefer shorter styles. I like pixie cuts. I do like undercut hair.

The OP invited opinions:

The reasons I'm not keen on a child of 8 having her hair cut in the style the OP has illustrated are these:

1 Practicality: it will need styling: will she be able to style it herself? What will it look like if there isn't time to style it every day?

2 It will need regular trimming: is she prepared for that? Are you prepared for the expense? I would think in order to keep it looking good it might need trimming every 5 weeks.

3 If she hates it, it will take a long time to grow out: is she prepared for that?

4 But the main reason is that I don't think this particular style suits a very young face.

The image OP has provided seems to me to be "over styled" for a child of that age.

I think there are better short styles which would also be easier for her to style, herself, and easier to grow out if she does not want to keep it.

If the OP isn't prepared for negative comments - why post for opinions in the first place?

And other posters - please don't assume that if someone does not think this particular style is suitable for a child of 8 it's not necessarily the case that they think all girls should have long hair!

Is response to others I was prepared for negative comments but wasn't prepared for the vitriol.

I have used the range of comments to facilitate conversation with her about some of the prejudice she might face.

If I am honest it is not the haircut I would choose for her but it is what she wants and others comments stating they know of other children around her age with this haircut that don't regret it makes me reflect on why I might have reservations. Ultimately I want to protect her from others judgement but she is pretty determined it is what she wants and that she can handle it. I accept it may be mistake but at the end of the day it is just hair!

Some other considerations:

I think it likely that the image you have posted has been AI generated.

How might this cut translate in RL and to your daughter's own hair type?

Is she dark or fair? Do fades work better on darker hair? What is the texture of her hair - is it thin or thick or slightly wavy? Does this style work better on naturally straight hair or thick hair? Is it going to need a lot of styling and product on it to maintain the look and the height of the longer side (and who will do this) or will hers just lie flat on the longer side?

Does she have any thin patches that might be more obvious on the side that has been shaved, especially if she has darker hair?

Depending on her own hair type, it may not be possible for the hairdresser to exactly reproduce the image that your daughter has picked out. Is she prepared for what might be a disappointment once it has been washed for the first time?

The style from the right hand pic looks nice and could work well for an 8yo (I think the left hand one is too self-consciously glam and also less practical for sports and swimming) but it will be awfully high maintenance. A similar style with the sides clipped short instead of shaved might be a better option? The hairdresser may have some good advice.

I'm curious, would you (or anyone who agrees with you) force an 8 year old boy to cut their hair or would you be OK with them growing it long? Not sure how a girl having short hair is any more maintenance than a boy having short hair

I was very oro her choosing her own haircut but if she wants something easy fot sports, this cut wont be great.

It’s this specific hair cut that is high maintenance.

True!😂😂😂😂😂

Those saying it’s only hair it will grow back- yes it will grow back but in the life of an 8yo it will be a very long time.

I know two girls who had pixy cuts at that age. Both had parents who had talked them through it, and didn’t rush into it. Both girls regretted having such short cuts, and for them it felt like forever for it to grow.

Haven't read all the responses, but I actually think it's great that your daughter knows herself well and isn't afraid to choose something 'different'. At her age I was so anxious about fitting in, I did things and wore things that definitely didn't feel 'me' to try and look like other girls.

My only concern - and it might've been raised before - is whether school would be OK with it? Most don't accept 'extreme' haircuts, and it won't grow out enough over summer to cover it.

I was about that age when my mum let me have an undercut. I loved it, and never regretted it. It taught me lessons about having my own identity. Whether she regrets it or not, there's many amazing lessons to learn there. 🫶

How refreshing to se a child wanting to experiment with something as replenishable as hair.
Your daughter is an artist, let her.
If she hates it she'll learn a valuable lesson. If she loves it you've given her wings.
Most certainly don't listen to backwards patriarchal square headed aunties who have nothing good to say about anything less frigid than their own atrophied spirits.
Definitely wouldn't encourage unreversible changes at that age or any before 30, but hair? Type of shoes? ... this shouldn't even be a discussion. Let her play, explore and learn <3

The model looks fabulous

Styles never look the same on the 'public'

Would she cope with possible disappointment?

And as pp has said upthread, it does take some work to look like that

I dont get the issue, its start of the school holidays. One of my boys wants those graded line patterns in his hair for the holidays, he's just turned 6 last week, im going to let him. He will look so cute. He asked for them last time and i said school wont allow it matey but you can when holidays start.

I think the "model" is an AI generate image.

👍

I've had short hair since I was 10, including haircuts like the one she wants. It's way more fun than long hair! I've only started looking butch in the last 5 years as I'm nearing 40 and more muscular 😅

Would recommend that you and her learn to cut it yourself, it saves quite a bit of money and you get to be more creative, though most men's barbers are happy to do mine.

Maybe see if you can find some old school group photos of girls with short hair? Current fashion is for long hair, but that certainly wasn't the case when I was 8 in the 90s.

And it’s high maintenance and will look good for less than handful of weeks if lucky.
The hair style is too old for her - my personal
opinion.
We have super short summer holidays in the UK compared to Med Countries where it’s 10-12weeks. She hasn’t got the time to experiment with it.