Partner cheated - what to tell the kids?

101 replies

Mytimenow25 · 28/07/2025 06:22

Long time lurker, first time poster so please be gentle.

Found out late last night/early this morning that my partner of 16 years, who I share 2 children with (11 and 7), has been cheating on me with someone from his work. I told him to leave immediately and have no intention to hear him out or consider saving our relationship.

My issue is what do we tell the children? I'm of the opinion that it is down to him to tell them we are no longer together and he will no longer be living here but do they really need to know that it is because he was cheating?

Head is all over the place and I feel physically sick but my main concern is doing what is right/best for my children and the things that are going to cause them the least upset.

Thanks for reading and like I said this is very new so please be kind.

OP posts:

Laura95167 · 28/07/2025 20:56

Mytimenow25 · 28/07/2025 17:30

Update - so he came over after work and we sat the kids down together. He told them that we aren't together anymore, he is going to go and live somewhere else, he loves them and that will never change, he will still see them whenever they want and they can phone and text him whenever they want and that it is his fault not mine but didnt go into more detail than that.
They both sobbed, which broke me, and the 7 Yr old had loads of questions which I have done my best to answer as neutrally as possible. The 11 year old, who I think now ex underestimates, was very quiet until his brother left the room then turned to his dad and said " right now he isn't in the room tell me the truth, what have you done" to which ex had no other answer other than he has cheated. 11 year old walked off to his bedroom and waited for his dad to leave before coming out and sobbing.
I've told them both that our love for them will never change and I will do my absolute best to help them through this as easily as I can. For now they know they are staying in the family home with me - ex has told me if I want to take it off the market and stay here he will continue to pay the mortgage (big of him).

He tried to engage me in conversation about logistics but I told him that would be a conversation we had when the kids were not here and would not be happening today.

Now going to get my children some food and snuggle up on the sofa in front of the TV with them and squeeze them a little tighter tonight.

Sounds like you did the best job you could. I hope the 3 of you are ok tonight and going forward.

Those boys are lucky to have you

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