My friend is always late for things. Not by 5 minutes. It’s common that she’s 30 minutes late for a coffee, for example. Then when I say “I’ve got to go”, she’ll be all “so soon?!”….
a few examples…..
The other day we met for a coffee and a stroll and I said I had to be home by 4pm (coffee shop a 10 min walk from my house). We initially said to meet at 1.30. She then at about 12 said can we do 1.45. Fine. She eventually turned up at 2.10. We had a coffee and then we went for a walk. At 3.45 I said I have to go soon as I had a grocery shop being delivered. And she said that they could just leave it by my front door and no need to rush off etc…. I live in a central area of a city and live on a very busy road. Plus it was hot and my shopping would spoil. I felt so irritated!
anyway fast forward to last weekend and it’s her birthday celebration in a location about 30 miles from our city. She asks if I’ll drive as she doesn’t and I said yes, I’ll pick you up at 10.45 so we don’t have to rush plus parking is notoriously hard in this location. Lunch planned for 12.30. She then a few days ago asked if I could check in on her pet over the weekend as she was planning on staying overnight - quite last minute to ask someone. I didn’t really want to but it’s her birthday so thought I’d do the favour. I told her I’d leave after lunch at 4pm to go check on the pet as I had evening plans after her birthday lunch. Anyway the morning I was meant to pick her up, she said she was running late and wouldn’t be ready until 11. I get there at the 11… she’s not ready. We left at 11.45. Ended up being AN HOUR late for lunch because we couldn’t find parking and had left an hour late. She didn’t reserve a table in the restaurant so they were full and when we eventually sat down and ordered lunch, I basically had to eat and go. And she started on the whole “so soon?!” thing in front of everyone. I’d even reminded her in the car that I needed to leave at 4 to have time to check in on and feed pet.
It makes me feel so angry and as if I’m really uptight whereas I just have things to do so can’t live according to her schedule. The whole birthday thing made me realise she has no respect for my time, nor does she listen to what I say. She used to live abroad and says that there no one makes plans or sticks to schedules, which I think is untrue (I’ve lived in various countries abroad). My DH says to not bother getting into it with her and simply say next time “I have an hour” and if she’s late, to just buy a coffee and then leave when the hour is up. I really want to say something to her but not sure if I should.
I hate being treated like this. Help! Should I say something or indirectly put up a boundary?