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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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11
NaiveDuck · 26/07/2025 08:03

Absolutely45 · 26/07/2025 07:54

Even though i think the death should be looked at again, you re making a assumption that is wrong.

You saw a program where some families had closure but what the fuck does that even mean?
I had none when my partner died in an accident, everyone said after the funeral there is closure no there isn't.

Many years ago, my friends son was killed in a violent attack, 2 youths were jailed for around 14 years each.

The parents never wanted the death penalty, they just hoped the youths would turn their lives around.

There is no "closure" the lad will never walk back into their lives again.

Again, why are you assuming I saw a programme? I never mentioned programmes. I am talking about family victim statements. On their own social media. And in their own press statements.

Also, I think you are confusing closure, with justice. They're two different things.

Never2many · 26/07/2025 08:08

NaiveDuck · 26/07/2025 08:00

So you're saying victims media statements through a family spokesperson or their own statements on social media, not included in documentaries, are 'manipulated'?

no. But documentary makers manipulate what is shown.

so if ten families are interviewed then it stands to reason that not all statements will be included, and if the documentary maker wants to arrive at a particular point of view then they will include those statements which represent that point of view.

It’s basic journalism.

EyeLevelStick · 26/07/2025 08:09

NaiveDuck · 26/07/2025 06:06

Oh because you know one person, you think you know better than the familIES (plural) in America and THEIR OWN TESTIMONY?? Talk about arrogance! These people have said ON CAMERA that they've had closure.

And you are calling them LIARS.

Think about that for a moment.

This is such an unintelligent, arrogant and offensive response.

Your self-selected families of victims on Youtube are unlikely to be lying. This doesn’t mean that all victims’ families everywhere would agree. Surely you can see that?

And attacking PYK in this way is just low.

EyeLevelStick · 26/07/2025 08:13

NaiveDuck · 26/07/2025 07:36

Thank you, and that's true. But PyongyangKipperbang is saying that none of them feel closure. That poster is accusing those families of lying, because only their one experience is correct. It's ignorant. Yes, some may not feel closure, and that's understandable. But a lot do. And it's wrong to say they don't when they themselves say they do. PyongyangKipperbang thinks only their one example matters and is true.

She isn’t saying that none of them feels closure. She isn’t accusing them of lying. She is saying that your Youtube “research” doesn’t represent a universal truth.

You, however, seem to be suggesting that she is lying, or wrong somehow, about the opinions of someone she knows in real life.

You appear to be blinded by your fury.

ZamaZama · 26/07/2025 08:14

NaiveDuck · 26/07/2025 08:01

Not true. Go back up. I said many families in America feel closure.

She then called me ignorant and said I didn't know what I was talking about.

Weren’t you the poster who originally said no family had ever said they didn’t get closure: ‘Not one’.

I would imagine it was that level of certainty based on very little that prompted a response from someone that has unfortunately had some experience to point out that you didn’t really know what you were talking about.

You’ve also repeatedly hectored that poster, incorrectly saying she has accused others of ‘lying’ (very emotive term), telling her she’s ignorant and patronisingly telling her to think about what she’s saying.

You seem to be presenting yourself as some sort of crusader for victims’ rights, but you might want to think yourself about the needlessly aggressive tone you’ve taken on here towards someone who sadly has some first-hand insight into victims’ experiences.

NaiveDuck · 26/07/2025 08:18

EyeLevelStick · 26/07/2025 08:13

She isn’t saying that none of them feels closure. She isn’t accusing them of lying. She is saying that your Youtube “research” doesn’t represent a universal truth.

You, however, seem to be suggesting that she is lying, or wrong somehow, about the opinions of someone she knows in real life.

You appear to be blinded by your fury.

Lol you are making assumptions. None of my research is from 'youtube'. But from the actual families statements themselves.

NaiveDuck · 26/07/2025 08:20

ZamaZama · 26/07/2025 08:14

Weren’t you the poster who originally said no family had ever said they didn’t get closure: ‘Not one’.

I would imagine it was that level of certainty based on very little that prompted a response from someone that has unfortunately had some experience to point out that you didn’t really know what you were talking about.

You’ve also repeatedly hectored that poster, incorrectly saying she has accused others of ‘lying’ (very emotive term), telling her she’s ignorant and patronisingly telling her to think about what she’s saying.

You seem to be presenting yourself as some sort of crusader for victims’ rights, but you might want to think yourself about the needlessly aggressive tone you’ve taken on here towards someone who sadly has some first-hand insight into victims’ experiences.

I was talking about the death penalty and the victims families in America.

That poster right off the bat said I didn't know what I was talking about, and was ignorant. They were rude, patronising and very aggressive.

Absolutely45 · 26/07/2025 08:32

NaiveDuck · 26/07/2025 08:03

Again, why are you assuming I saw a programme? I never mentioned programmes. I am talking about family victim statements. On their own social media. And in their own press statements.

Also, I think you are confusing closure, with justice. They're two different things.

Edited

Wherever you saw this, is immaterial, its self selecting, the families who found "closure" post, the ones that don't, well, don't.

Its also a bit odd, as most people executed in the US have been awaiting their sentence for many years, even decades.

Anyway, as pp have said, the death penatly shouldn't be introduced because of the victims families wishes.

TBH the more i read through this thread, the more i think maybe we have got the balance right with Whole life Orders.

CurlewKate · 26/07/2025 08:33

Anyway, it doesn’t matter really in the context of this discussion. Sentencing is not, and should no be about what the victims want.

NaiveDuck · 26/07/2025 08:38

Absolutely45 · 26/07/2025 08:32

Wherever you saw this, is immaterial, its self selecting, the families who found "closure" post, the ones that don't, well, don't.

Its also a bit odd, as most people executed in the US have been awaiting their sentence for many years, even decades.

Anyway, as pp have said, the death penatly shouldn't be introduced because of the victims families wishes.

TBH the more i read through this thread, the more i think maybe we have got the balance right with Whole life Orders.

I agree, yes, it is self selecting. But that also means PyongyangKipperbang's testimony is self-selecting, too.

Anyway, I'm out of here as I can't seem to make myself understood and I'm feeling attacked. It's been a good discussion though.

EyeLevelStick · 26/07/2025 08:41

NaiveDuck · 26/07/2025 08:18

Lol you are making assumptions. None of my research is from 'youtube'. But from the actual families statements themselves.

Way to miss the point. You have not seen statements from all victims’ families. You have only seen the statements that support your view.

The fact that you have not seen statements from families that do not support your view does not mean that all families support your view.

And I would suggest that the sources of the statements - YouTube documentaries or some such - have cherrypicked the statements that supported the view of the filmmaker.

Never2many · 26/07/2025 08:50

NaiveDuck · 26/07/2025 08:18

Lol you are making assumptions. None of my research is from 'youtube'. But from the actual families statements themselves.

Ooh so you’ve been and spoken to them? You personally?

no? Didn’t think so.

Sirzy · 26/07/2025 09:02

Different families will feel differently. That’s normal and you can’t generalise.

but a justice system shouldn’t decide upon punishment based on family wishes. It should be based upon justice. Otherwise you could have two identical crimes punished differently because of the families wishes and how would that be fair?

Glitchymn1 · 26/07/2025 09:33

MiloMinderbinder925 · 25/07/2025 18:08

I see. What you're suggesting is that the death penalty isn't applied in every grevious case but now and again, when we're 'sure'. Do you think that's feasible?

I don’t see why not, other countries do it for far lesser crimes.
If not the death penalty it should be solitary- they should never see daylight again, bread and water as sustenance.

@CurlewKate You don’t know much about the prison system do you. They’re off shagging and all sorts- they definitely have lives!

Internaut · 26/07/2025 09:37

If not the death penalty it should be solitary- they should never see daylight again, bread and water as sustenance.

How easy do you imagine it would be to recruit and keep warders if that was our system? Would you fancy looking after a load of violent criminals who have literally nothing to lose by killing you?

YouWillFindMeInTheGarden · 26/07/2025 09:39

Internaut · 26/07/2025 09:37

If not the death penalty it should be solitary- they should never see daylight again, bread and water as sustenance.

How easy do you imagine it would be to recruit and keep warders if that was our system? Would you fancy looking after a load of violent criminals who have literally nothing to lose by killing you?

Spot on!

mumsnetters can be so naive. Silly sweeping statements but don’t think through to the detail

Glitchymn1 · 26/07/2025 09:49

Nopenousername · 26/07/2025 06:47

The risk is low but the stakes are high. What about Lucy Letby? Sentenced to 15 whole life term and a year on there is doubt over her convictions..

Not her as we don’t know. Rose West/Fred, Levi Bellfield Hindley- what was the point in keeping her alive. I just don’t get it. Maybe just the serial killers then.

Glitchymn1 · 26/07/2025 09:52

@Internaut How do they normally manage them? They comply because they get a ham sandwich and cuppa?!
If they’re contained, one to a cell with only a tray to pass they’re bread on how are they getting close enough to kill a warden?

Besides I’d rather kill them.

Sirzy · 26/07/2025 09:56

Glitchymn1 · 26/07/2025 09:49

Not her as we don’t know. Rose West/Fred, Levi Bellfield Hindley- what was the point in keeping her alive. I just don’t get it. Maybe just the serial killers then.

But at the time of her conviction there was little doubt in most peoples minds. Certainly not in the juries minds. Some people want conviction and death the next day so that makes mistakes even more likely to occur.

If it were to be considered you would need a very robust system for appeals and as has been pointed out many times that costs a lot more than life imprisonment

SuburbanSprawl · 26/07/2025 10:02

Zov · 25/07/2025 22:43

Not when it's a murderous psychopath who has killed people - especially children.

Ah, okay.

So killing people isn't wrong. It's all about context.

Zov · 26/07/2025 10:10

Internaut · 26/07/2025 01:16

It is still wrong. We have to draw a line in the sand. We cannot have a society where we say that killing people is the most serious offence there is, but which itself cold bloodedly kills people by appointment.

No it's not wrong. No line in the sand is needed. Death penalty for the worst/most heinous crimes is needed. Your argument is flawed. Executing a psychopathic killed is not the same as the killer murdering someone in cold blood. I find it farcical and worrying in equal measures that you think the two are even CLOSE to the same.

CurlewKate · 26/07/2025 10:11

Glitchymn1 · 26/07/2025 09:49

Not her as we don’t know. Rose West/Fred, Levi Bellfield Hindley- what was the point in keeping her alive. I just don’t get it. Maybe just the serial killers then.

But we did “know” about Lucy Letby. There are plenty on here who would have had her dead by now…

Zov · 26/07/2025 10:12

SuburbanSprawl · 26/07/2025 10:02

Ah, okay.

So killing people isn't wrong. It's all about context.

Well done, you got it.! 👏 Give yourself a pat on the back from me!

Sirzy · 26/07/2025 10:20

Zov · 26/07/2025 10:10

No it's not wrong. No line in the sand is needed. Death penalty for the worst/most heinous crimes is needed. Your argument is flawed. Executing a psychopathic killed is not the same as the killer murdering someone in cold blood. I find it farcical and worrying in equal measures that you think the two are even CLOSE to the same.

So some murders are more acceptable than others? We can employ people to be murders and that’s ok but it’s wrong when someone murders? I just don’t get the logic.

muder is wrong. State sanctioned murder is just as wrong.