Fed up of my cousins comments about benefits and UC

[glassor2]

I’m a single mum of two kids, ages 13 and 5. My older son has a relationship with his dad, but my younger son’s dad moved away a couple of years ago and doesn’t see him often-usually once or twice a year. He doesn’t provide any financial support, and since he moves around for work (he used to live in Canada and now lives in Australia), it has been challenging to get child maintenance to chase him.

I work 3-4 days a week (sometimes more if there’s overtime available) and receive a top up from UC. My mum occasionally helps with child care, but she also has a full time job. It can be difficult handling everything on my own, but I manage.

Anyway, I have a family member I'm quite close to, and she often makes comments, not aimed at me, but towards people who claim UC. For example, she mentioned that it's unfair for her to pay almost £300 a month in tax while others can work part time and avoid paying anything (I don’t earn enough to pay tax) and that she has to pay more to subsidise the people that don't. She even told the entire family that she pays almost £400 a month, including national insurance, which made things awkward and nobody knew what to say.

From what I know, she doesn't earn a huge wage, so I can see why it would be frustrating for her to have to pay that much. It's a lot of money. However, it's not our fault, and if she's upset, her anger should be directed at the government, not at those who are rightfully claiming.

Everyone’s situation is different, and some people need help. I never chose to be a single parent, and I can't control the fact that my ex chose to leave and decided not to support his child financially. I'm doing my best, just like many others on UC are.

I don't think she's intentionally trying to upset me, but she is.

AIBU? How do I tackle this?

Both my brothers and my sisters exs paid their maihtance until aged 21 ( crap at being married but OK at being financially decent). Our mother would have whipped their bums if they didn't. We had no idea my niece would be left living in poverty but the abuse was horrendous. She did 5 years. He was still filming her until recently.
We all try to help her out and she is intending to go back to work full time.
There are a lot of shit guys out there.
Attachment to earnings is usually the only way to get any money out of them. They should be ashamed but they're not hence the crazy ex stories.

There is a benefit cap so people receiving the equivalent of £3.5k a month are either in receipt of disability benefits or are working and earning over the minimum income floor.

Correct and that was definitely judgement not luck

I hope tearing others down makes you feel better about yourself 👍

How is that tearing anybody down?

It’s advice, People can take it or leave it, but it worked out well for me.

It’s not exactly helpful advice when kids are already here is it? How does your advice help anyone on this thread in a similar position? It comes across as patronising and superior which of course you already know.

And the idea that women should leave their kids with their useless exes is hilarious. You think men who get out of paying maintenance would agree to have their kids full time? Do you think that’s in the best interests of the kids?

I replied in the comment straight after. The minimum income limits are ridiculously low, which is probably causing the resentment from those that don’t claim. The limits need to be amended, as they adversely encourage behaviour, and very part time working. It is the system which needs changing

Depending on claimant commitments, DWP can encourage increasing hours and impose sanctions if someone is not taking steps to increase their hours (e.g., looking for a new job). There is also a minimum threshold requiring claimants in work to be earning the equivalent of 18hrs at NMW unless exempt (e.g., disability, caring commitments).

Perhaps the advice wasn’t aimed at you then ?

And as for leaving the children with the men it’s a fucking good idea and more people should do it because the level of support they receive when they’re single parents would blow your mind.

Where she would be 3 hours travelling time from her entire family, her child's father and paternal grandmother and all her friends, and would have to find a new job!

Yes but this is exactly what I mean. 18 hours minimum wage equivalent is very part time. Especially if you earn more an hour, and can work less than that. But you are topped up to a full time wage for half the work, with no further work commitments

Agree its the system that needs changin, in my opinion work needs to pay.

One over the tax threshold you only take home .32p in every pound earned. So at nmw your only taking home 3.90 a hour.
factor in high childcare costs and or commute, and you would be lucky to actually take any money home.

A UC claimant earning over the tax threshold, paying £1000 a month for the childcare needed would have to work an extra 10 hours a week to just break even (if they are lucky enough to not commute). So I can't see why a single mother with no support would want to work more than part time as it currently stands.

This is what people are talking about though. 18 hours is barely half of full time hours !.

My first job was contracted for 17 hours.
That was all they offered. It was retail.
Retail traditionally seems to only ever offer part time even though many employees want to be full time.
Years later I was working in a similar job (but thankfully contracted more hours) and they employed two part timers.
They were both 4 hours a day 5 days a week (so 20 hours).
One was morning, one afternoon.
The morning one was desperate for full time work and frequently asked for more hours - but always told no so she went and got a second job for the afternoon.
The afternoon employee was a bit flakey and often phoned in sick. The morning one couldn't do overtime to cover her because she had the commitment to the second job.
I constantly used to think "why don't they just employ the decent one at FULL TIME".
Not everyone working part time actually wants to be part time.

You don't get topped-up to a full time wage, if you factor in earnings then OP (and many more people) would be better off working full time as with a FT wage plus UC combined they'd have significantly more money each month. They're actually getting less overall income by working part time.

What does that tell you? Because it tells anyone with critical thinking skills that maybe it's not about the money, maybe it's the fact that there are other barriers to full time employment such as time, physical and/or mental health, access to appropriate childcare, safe/accessible transport, suitable vacancies, training opportunities/essential skills, and so on.

In addition, there are currently around 1.6 million unemployed people in the UK and around 750,000 job vacancies. It's not as easy as "get another job" or "get more hours".

I know not all breakfast and afterschool clubs are free. Why on earth should they be free. If you use them pay for them
And no I am not bemoaning the the fall in the birth rate

And nothing.

I think of you apply critical thinking, you would understand that the system incentivises people to work the minimum. And that’s why so many people do work the minimum. Because they take a decision that after you pay transport and childcare etc etc, that it’s not work it when you look at how much you can be topped up to without it.

I used to volunteer in this sector, and it really surprised me. But offer a benefits system like this, and of course people are going to take advantage of it and try to make it work for them

There are some right misery gutses on here! Imagine being fortunate enough to have the opportunity to work in a well paid job, but instead of appreciating what you've got, you moan about the small percentage you are expected to contribute to keep society (barely) functioning and keep the wolf from the door, for others and for your future self if things go wrong!

Those who say they "have to" work while others don't, of course that's not true. You choose to work in order to have more money, which you can do because you are in the good position of being able to find a job that is still profitable after paying for childcare. That's something to be grateful for, to have that choice when many don't! And I say this as someone who has the privilege of a good education and a profitable trade, so I'm able to work and make it pay, and I'm bloody grateful not to be in a position to need UC or other benefits.

It really doesn’t, I’m considerably better off working 30 hours a week than I was working 22.5 hours.

The system is set up so that people are significantly better off working more hours.

A single parent of two children working 18hrs p/wk at NMW would have approximately £2300 per month from wages and Universal Credit combined.

Same person working 37hrs p/wk at NMW would have approximately £3300 per month from wages and Universal Credit combined.

The system is categorically not topping people up to a full time wage and increased employment is more lucrative - roughly £1000 a month more for working full time in the calculations I did.

As stated in my previous posts, there are barriers preventing people from simply upping their hours. These include (but are not limited to) a lack of affordable and accessible childcare provision, a lack of transport availability, a lack of skills/training opportunities that would enable access to higher paid roles, caring responsibilities, health considerations, lack of suitable full time job roles.

Very, very few people are working part time for shits and giggles.

(Figures calculated using Turn2Us. Single parent of two earning NMW with rent of £750 pcm and Band A council tax, childcare costs of £23 per working day for school wraparound).